Have a Duvet Day

I read this in a blog kept up by an American police officer. Sounds like it was a day when the drug store clerk should have stayed at home.

He was walking home from work, some drug store, when a young guy pulled out a sawed off shotgun and demanded his money. He handed it over and then turned and ran. After running for a few blocks and seeing that he was alone he pulled out his cell phone and dialled 9-1-1. Just as the operator came on the line someone came up from behind him and grabbed his cell phone. When he turned around he noticed that this was a different guy, this time with a pistol. When he asked for his wallet too he explained he was just calling the police because someone had just robbed him.

Actually, it was a bad day for the cell phone thief. Police swamped the area and one officer cornered him only to have the crook draw a weapon and shoot him twice. Both shots were on target but were stopped by the policeman’s vest. The shooter ran off but, thinking he had killed a law officer, handed himself in to police a few hours later.

I had a Duvet Day today. Woke up about 6 am'ish feeling like death not fully warmed up. I dressed quickly but temperature slid down to something akin to freezer shelf. Just about made it to the quack's for my weekly blood check and then staggered home to hand over duty to Norma. Slept as if drugged until dinner time and now seem a little bit better. So much for all the fuss about getting a flu jab at the end of last year!

I found this at another place. It was not fixed down and looked abandoned so I had no qualms in taking it away. I cannot attribute it to anyone as that information was missing. However, it is quite witty and wiil doubtless appear many more times in many more places.

Latest News from Washington

Washington, D.C. (AP) - Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be out-sourced to India as of January 1, 2006.

The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be significant" stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay" Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the office of President as of January 1st.

Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center" stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President."

A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem because Bush was not familiar with the issues either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work" stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years." Mr. Singh may have problems with the Texas drawl, but lately Bush has abandoned the "down home" persona in his effort to appear intelligent and on top of the Katrina situation.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience.
A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience with shaking hands and a phony smile.

Another possibility is Bush's re-enlistment in the Texas Air National Guard. His prior records are conspicuously vague but should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month, before being sent to Iraq, a country he has visited.

"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's terminal and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Fallujah say Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.

The message is in the media?

Artist's Statement:
My images have a naive, whimsical quality. Macabre and odious topics are transmuted into approachable, vivid narratives. What appears childish at first sight; upon careful examination, reveals a complex interpretation of foreboding and exhilaration that necessitates a re-acquaintance with one's intuition. The Images suggest the inevitability of an archaic revival while impulsively generating a greater cumulative significance that beckons to the very near future; hence Techno-Shamanism. Wholly antithetical to the anthropocentric mode of logic, the images no less mock the abstruse mytho-occult spinsters as well. They have been extracted from the edge of our burgeoning psychotronic consciousness.

That’s it. His statement. I suppose he knows what he is trying to convey. I have had the benefit of seeing some of his work and, even with this advantage, am unable to connect output with the description and meanings of the work.
I hate it when pretension gets in the way of enjoying art. I am capable of enjoying images for image sake without needing to know what was in the artist’s mind but I am sure that there is much that I miss.
I recently spent a little time looking at a drawing of a small girl bringing flowers to a young boy. He was in a dressing gown, slumped in an easy chair. His face had a sharpness about it as if he were in pain. I got the clue of some flowers dropping to the floor, There was a grandfather clock in the background to which I attached little significance. I Googled about a bit and finally came upon an analysis or whatever of the drawing. The clock also symbolised a passing of time, the time in which the lad’s life was ebbing away.
I achieved nothing from the statement-writers work. His loss or mine? Both I suppose as I will not recommend his work – even by linking to it – and he by failing to get his point across in text or image.

One born every ..........

Away from all the argy-bargey of cartoons, I did have a funny communication in response to my £20 Maglite torch. This pointed out that the state of the art torch for use by rufty tufty soldiers was a thing called the SureFire Magnum M6 Guardian. I have looked at the specification and it is indeed a fearsome beast. However, at a price of £230 or so, it is well outside what I need as a little bedside supplement. The sort of bedside companion I would expect at that sort of cost is a crate full of Viagra. I suspect the purchase came from the days when the ruling cry amongst the Big Swinging Dicks was that he who dies with the most toys wins. My response at that time was - who cares; they are still dead Dicks, they have ceased to swing, they are no more etc. etc.
The title is apt - maybe - but does not take away my pride that one of mine was able to get to such a state that he could expend that sort of wedge on that sort of toy. I do reflect that when I was a kid in the market for toys, I could have purchased an entire Royal Artillery searchlight battery - personnel and all - for that sort of money.

As advertised

My last word on cartoons

OK - promise this is the end. There is such a lot out there that I find rings my bell and says things in a way I'd like to have the ability to do.

Stole this from Boortz.

Muslim outrage huh. OK ... let's do a little historical review. Just some lowlights:

* Muslims fly commercial airliners into buildings in New York City. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslim officials block the exit where school girls are trying to escape a burning building because their faces were exposed. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslims cut off the heads of three teenaged girls on their way to school in Indonesia. A Christian school. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslims murder teachers trying to teach Muslim children in Iraq. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslims murder over 80 tourists with car bombs outside cafes and hotels in Egypt. No Muslim outrage.
* A Muslim attacks a missionary children's school in India. Kills six. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslims slaughter hundreds of children and teachers in Beslan, Russia. Muslims shoot children in the back. No Muslim outrage.
* Let's go way back. Muslims kidnap and kill athletes at the Munich Summer Olympics. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslims fire rocket-propelled grenades into schools full of children in Israel. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslims murder more than 50 commuters in attacks on London subways and busses. Over 700 are injured. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslims massacre dozens of innocents at a Passover Seder. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslims murder innocent vacationers in Bali. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslim newspapers publish anti-Semitic cartoons. No Muslim outrage
* Muslims are involved, on one side or the other, in almost every one of the 125+ shooting wars around the world. No Muslim outrage.
* Muslims beat the charred bodies of Western civilians with their shoes, then hang them from a bridge. No Muslim outrage.
* Newspapers in Denmark and Norway publish cartoons depicting Mohammed. Muslims are outraged.

Dead children. Dead tourists. Dead teachers. Dead doctors and nurses. Death, destruction and mayhem around the world at the hands of Muslims .. no Muslim outrage ... but publish a cartoon depicting Mohammed with a bomb in his turban and all hell breaks loose.

Come on, is this really about cartoons? They're rampaging and burning flags. They're looking for Europeans to kidnap. They're threatening innkeepers and generally raising holy Muslim hell not because of any outrage over a cartoon. They're outraged because it is part of the Islamic jihadist culture to be outraged. You don't really need a reason. You just need an excuse. Wandering around, destroying property, murdering children, firing guns into the air and feigning outrage over the slightest perceived insult is to a jihadist what tailgating is to a Steeler's fan.

I know and understand that these bloodthirsty murderers do not represent the majority of the world's Muslims. When, though, do they become outraged? When do they take to the streets to express their outrage at the radicals who are making their religion the object of worldwide hatred and ridicule? Islamic writer Salman Rushdie wrote of these silent Muslims in a New York Times article three years ago. "As their ancient, deeply civilized culture of love, art and philosophical reflection is hijacked by paranoiacs, racists, liars, male supremacists, tyrants, fanatics and violence junkies, why are they not screaming?"

Indeed. Why not?

I'll tell you why not. Islam is a nihilistic death cult. It is a midieval religion that needs to reform itself and join us in the 21st Century. Unfortunately, it ain't gonna happen in my lifetime.

My new toy

Sad really but this has acquired the status of new toy. Yes; that's right. £20 worth of torch. What a come down - me who specialises in shiny things that normally cost a rajah's ransom in terms of £ per ounce or inch.
It is the Maglite model that takes 2 D size batteries so is just a nice size and heft. It is meant for use in my bedroom so that when I wake at night wanting a drink or need to take tablets - or just cannot sleep - it is there to illuminate the scene but is not so dramatic as to light the whole room and bring me fully to my senses. It is very tactile, the smooth bits are very smooth and the knurled bits have a proper bite. Everything fits properly so that as well as being correctly designed in terms of proportions and shape it has been produced to close engineering tolerances. The colour is another thing I find pleasing; the blue has just the right depth. It really demands fondling. The urge to hold it, press the on/off switch, swing the beam about or adjust it from spot to flood is almost beyond resistance. I sat for about twenty minutes in the dark last night just playing with it.
If there were some sort of nomination right now for an item being an icon of somethingh or other, I would recommend this torch.

Escalation

List of placards seen in London:

ANNIHILATE THOSE WHO INSULT ISLAM
AS MUSLIMS WE ARE PREPARED TO FIGHT
BBC BRITISH BROADCASTING CRUSADERS
BBC GO TO HELL!
BE PREPARED FOR THE REAL HOLOCAUST [real is underlined]
BEHEAD THE ONE WHO INSULTS THE PROPHET.
BEHEAD THOSE WHO INSULT ISLAM
BUTCHER THOSE WHO INSULT ISLAM
EUROPE YOU WILL PAY FANTASTIC 4 ARE ON THEIR WAY YOU
EUROPE YOU WILL PAY. DEMOLITION IS ON THE WAY
EUROPE YOU WILL PAY. YOUR 9/11 IS ON IT'S WAY
EUROPE YOU WILL PAY. YOUR EXTERMINATION IS ON IT'S WAY
EUROPE YOU'LL COME CRAWLING WHEN THE MUJAHIDEEN COME ROARING
EXTERMINATE THOSE WHO INSULT ISLAM
EXTERMINATE THOSE WHO SLANDER ISLAM
FREE SPEECH GO TO HELL
FREEDOM GO TO HELL
FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION GO TO HELL
JIHAD AGAINST EUROPEAN CRUSADERS
MASSACRE THOSE WHO INSULT ISLAM
SLAY THOSE WHO INSULT ISLAM

Nice, eh? And no arrests for incitement! Apparently the Met had been told from on high that no arrests were to be made...

Escalation

Blogger seems to be having a dizzy blond spell. It refused to let me load a image from the dashboard saying that technicians were working on it. I got the Escalation image through Picasa but that does not show up on dashboard so I can add the text.
So, this is what should go with the cartoon.
I think this is indicative of what happens when sensible people are confronted with reaction such as we have been seeing in respect of the Danish-originated cartoons. A first, we are prepared to laugh at the mobs and their unrealistic demands for the violent death of those involved. Then, as that gets worse or continues with little call for moderation from the reasonable Islamists, we lose our patience and sense of humour. Things get to the stage where people start to think "If they did not like that - look at this"
Where I find difficulty with the demonbstrators is the Rent-A-Mob attitude. There can be very few individuals amongst the violent crowd who have seen the original cartoons published in a small country in a obscure language. They have gone onto the streets - with their banners calling for death - on the words of a few people. The police have chosen to maintain a low profile but it is quite clear what would have happened had they tried to disperse the mobs. Mr Clark knows just how soon it could turn into another Grosvenor Square and doubtless has given the necessary 'play cool' orders.
What if - just if mind you - something happens in the days ahead where it suits those who control and mobilise the crowds we have seen to tell their hotheads that - just imagine - blue-eyed children are the spawn of The Devil and should be burned and thrown into the Thames? Over the top assumption you say? Who would have forecast what we now see following some not very funny drawings in a far away place.

Call THAT a cartoon!!

The ‘outrage’ at the Islamic cartoons is not all one-way. Without too much of a Google-sort of search, I managed to find this,

In September of last year, a Danish writer bemoaned the fact that he couldn’t get anyone to illustrate a book he had written about the prophet Mohammed. The reason for this of course is because in the Muslim faith, pictorial representations of the prophet are strictly forbidden. This means that although you are more than welcome to picture Mohammed pleasuring a pot-bellied pig in your mind's eye - if that’s what floats your blasphemous boat - you could never actually draw a picture of it, or at least not without incurring a fair bit of wrath.

It then goes on a bit and then says this,

There is of course, luscious ripe irony at work here. A cartoonist draws a picture of the prophet Mohammed with a bomb in
his turban, the implication being that Islam, far from a religion of tolerance and peace, is actually a religion of violence and
murder. Many Muslims are offended by this, and so, by way of response, threaten to murder the cartoonists responsible. You
have to smile. ‘How dare you call us murdering bastards?! We ’ll kill you! We’ll kill the lot of you!’

Before a final sally.

In a rather sweet coincidence, this was also the week that the Racial and Religious Hatred Bill was defeated in the British
parliament. This means that when the much-diluted bill eventually becomes law, we will still be legally allowed to say or write that which is critical, abusive or insulting to religion and the religious. However, depending on how this cartoon controversy pans out, we may not dare.

We’ll probably just leave it to Nick Griffin.

All of this is a fair way out of the mainstream comment that one gets back via the ‘meedja’ but I suggest it strikes a note in the pubs and clubs – and not only in the working mens’ bars. I’ve included it here as it chimes with my feelings but expresses it in a way that is much better than I would produce. So, as the aim of communication is to communicate (shades of long-passed lectures), I nicked it!

Where did I ......?

The way ahead

Digital cameras have a lot to answer for. Just a few years back this sort of thing would have gone int one of those Quickprint shops. The assistant would have seen it and the taste police summoned.

Advice for the day ahead

“Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil. But for my part I have long perceived the nature of good and its nobility, the nature of evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the culprit himself, who is my brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow-creature similarly endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of these things can injure me, for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading. Neither can I be angry with my brother or fall foul of him; for he and I were born to work together like a man’s two hands, feet or eyelids or like the upper and lower rows of his teeth. To obstruct each other is against Nature’s Law – and what is irritation or aversion but a form of obstruction”

So, a little maxim to improve the shining hour. I can think of any number of days when recitation of this recommendation would have made my day go easier.
Is it something new that I have not heard of it before? Well – no. Not exactly. The author was about some while ago. I had not realised that his day could be so complicated that it required these attitudes.

Prejudice

Saw Julian Clary TV programme where they have celebrities research their ancestry. He discovered a number of Germans in his mother's lineage and thought this funny as she has strong anti-German prejudices. He met with mother (nice old lady) and tried to soften blow by using word Prussian instead of German. She would have none of this and immediately referred to them as German. Not at all happy and was obviously anti-German as Julian described.
What I found interesting was that she, who as Clary's mum must have attracted considerable prejudice and bigotry, retained it for Germans.
He made a amusing remark whilst en-route to give her the 'good' news. He admitted certain amount of fear at her reaction. However, he said, "It's not as if I'm going to tell her I'm hetero-sexual"
I like the guy. He did a lot to open a number of closet doors by thrusting his sexuality in our faces in an amusing way so that we could examine our individual attitudes with no question as to our possible susceptibility. Just compare his approach with Buggermore; I know whom I'd rather swim with!

Some room for improvement yet then?

"The supreme end of education is expert discernment in all things-- the power to tell the good from the bad, the genuine from the counterfeit, and to prefer the good and the genuine to the bad and the counterfeit."

-Samuel Johnson, British author and lexicographer (1709-1784)

Thoughts

Maybe need to click on this to enlarge.

Truth will out - somehow.

Another triumph for the Met. police! Vast step forward in the war on drugs!
Yes, you have guessed it. They have finally managed to interview Kate Moss about her alleged drug taking habit. So that's all right. Armed with her information to destroy the underground, we can be sure that no 11 year old will again collapse at their desks.
Yes - I am being unfair and cynical. Yes - it is all a media thing. However, I am not the only one to have doubts about this sort of them and us circus when a celebrity gets dragged in. I was around the Drug Squad when they went after the Rolling Stones. The policy was that every time one of the group even so much as suggested the word d-r-u-g-s, they would be turned over with the maximum severity and publicity. It got so obvious that a member of the House of Lords protested at breaking a moth under the wheels of justice. The only thing their tactics achieved was an increase in the sales of Mars bars. And that was based upon the inventive brain of a detective sergeant anyway. Other than a personal confession from Ms Moss, the police can have learnt nothing new. Shame on them for their investigative prowess if she was able to tell them something they should have found out for themselves since the photographs appeared.
For a force lead by a man with such respect for ultra-p.c. attention, it seems strange that they have made such a fuss over the Moss-Docherty event. They most assuredly were not the only couple treating their noses to a chill that evening. It is likely - given the popularity of marching powder amongst the hi-born and others in the spotlight in some way or another - that they were not the only famous individuals indulging. So, why the discrimination given to their supposed offences?
I would be really cynical and twisted were I to go too far with the article's suggestion that, right now, the Met. needs to draw attention away from a number of things and a hi-profile event is just the thing. "Look - we cannot control our trigger-fingers but we are tough on people outed by the press"