Ghost tale

Malay belief in ghosts can be very widespread and strong. The main, I suppose, senior ghost was the Pontaniek. Certainly, this was the most famous, scariest and violent ghost in the Malay culture. Primarily, the Malays believe that it originates from a still born child, women who die while giving birth, women killed by the pontianak or who had their spirits captured by them. Tradition demanded that those who died in childbirth had to have specific treatment to keep them safe from this monster. These included putting glass beads in the corpses mouth so that they can't shriek, placing eggs under the corpses armpits so that they can't fly and putting needles in their palms so that they can't fly.
Another spirit with strong influence was the hantu raya which is a shape shifting ghost. Usually, this ghost doesn't use its natural ability. This is a ghost with a master and its purpose is to give its master wealth and riches. The owner is responsible for taking care of the ghost until his death. He must also make arrangements for the ghost when he dies and leaves it alone.
I suppose the ghost I most wished to meet was Hantu Tetek. It bears this name which means 'Breast Ghost'. This ghost is a female ghost and has a huge breasts. She uses her breasts to attack its victim making full use of her huge breasts to suffocate them. Some says, the Hantu Tetek's breasts are at the back instead of the front. This really sounds like some sort of male dream ghost; certainly, I have always thought that breasts at the rear would be a far more convenient and exciting location.
The one ghost that I did come into contact with was Orang Minyak There are several version of the orang minyak (literally means 'oily man'). According to history, Satan offered to help and grant worldly desires if the "orang minyak" raped 21 girls within seven days and worship Satan as a God. They covered their nude body with oil so that it would be difficult for anyone to catch them. Although recent oily men were definitely human, there were countless stories of the supernatural and black magic orang minyak.
In 1957 I was serving in the very young country of Malaysia at a Army HQ in Seremban. The local town was quite small but had a large proportion of Europeans based there. In addition to the military, there were State administrators and civil servants together with rubber estate managers. Crime was almost unknown but over a short period of time there were increasing reports of burglary. These appeared to be the work of someone very skilled at their job. Most European bungalows – all homes occupied by whites were referred to as bungalows regardless of the number of floors – had window grilles and sliding grille doors at the main entrances. The intruder seemed able to bypass these at will leaving no sign of how this had been done. Those homes that had dogs were not safe either. The animal would be fit and well the morning after an intrusion and had not made any alarm during the night.
Once in the house, the ‘ghost’ would carry out a thorough search for valuables. One slept lightly in the heat of the tropics in the absence of air-conditioning but none of the victims recalled being disturbed. Any especial hiding place – money under the mattress for example – would be robbed. Within a very short time, the intrusions and thefts were attributed to our old friend the hantu. Hantu ryah was initially the chief suspect given that he could change shape Dracula-like and waft through grilles. Alarm amongst the Malays was turning to hysteria and the Malaysian police asked for our help. Examining some of the grilles showed that the locks had been opened using some form of pick lock and re-secured using a similar method. So, we had eliminated ryah but then suspicion turned to the oily man. This was a theory more capable of acceptance by Europeans as it was known that young men would coat their naked bodies in coconut oil and enter Malay homes to rape.
Senior level liaison resulted in a joint Army-Police operation. Road traffic blocks were established on all roads leading into Seremban. Police and infantry foot patrols were mounted within the accommodation areas and covert ambush points set up to watch for suspicious activity. Army tracker dogs were brought in. After about a week we had a result.
A car containing three Malay men was stopped at a road block. When challenged, two ran off. As they ran, the Ghurkha troops on patrol shot at them killing one man and wounding the other. The third man was arrested. On medical examination, the wounded man was found to have a penetrating wound to his chest which had passed through one lung. Because of suspicion that he had the talents of a minyak whilst obviously not a hantu, he was treated and then imprisoned in a police station. The third man said he knew his companions were ‘bad men’ but refused to say what sort of badness. He of course, insisted he was just a driver and innocent as the day was long.
On the morning after his detention, the wounded man was being taken back to hospital to have his wound checked and re-dressed. En-route, he managed to escape from the police car. His escape route took him right through the middle of the main Army camp where I was on duty. The guardroom advised me that an injured Malay male had run past their barrier into the camp. They knew not why. Almost immediately, I had a telephone call from the head of the special hantu-catching squad that their man had run off. To me, too much of a coincidence that there would be two injured men running about.
The camp was on the outskirts of the developed area of Seremban. There was an area immediately outside our wire that had been cleared of jungle, then there was a belt of secondary jungle where the trees and shrubs were growing back after clearance. Beyond that was the real ulu or jungle. No roads, no tracks, no people – just many miles of undergrowth and frequent streams. I realised we needed a tracker dog. The kennels were behind our office and I headed up there at some speed.
There was only one dog handler to be found. He was asleep and, after I woke him up, he told me that he had just come off duty and was exhausted. It was a number of years since I had a brief spell as a dog handler and that was a combat dog and not a tracker. However, I rationalised that the brains of this partnership would be the dog. I took one from its kennel and got it equipped to track. Such dogs know they are working when fitted with a harness and a long lead. We knew where the man had left the camp and our track started from there. My companion found a good scent – still so fresh it was in the air as well as on the ground. We moved at a fast trot. It is important to try and let the dog work at its own pace. I’d never known this one before but it seemed I had made a good choice as it was not a racer. Working in the jungle with a dog on a long lead had its own difficulty – I had to follow exactly in the trail of the dog or the leash would wrap around a tree and bring us both to a halt.
After about a mile, we came into a small native village or kampong. My rubbish Malay and their good English met and established that a man with his arm in a sling had come into the village a short while before. Their interest was kindled when I explained that the man was thought to be a pseudo-oily man ghost. They told me he had spoken to one of the youths who had gone off on a bicycle whilst the burglar ran further into the jungle. I followed. I was encouraged by the sight of fresh blood spots some of the villagers pointed out to me. We were about five minutes behind him. As I trotted along after him, now at a faster pace, I tried to think what had passed between the man and the departed cyclist.
We seemed to have moved into a swampy area. The ground was soft and there were numerous small streams. These slowed us down as we had to cast around to make sure our quarry had gone straight across and not followed the stream to put us off the scent. I reasoned he knew we were on his track or he would have sought rest in the first village. After about an hour we had only moved some miles from the village. We then entered another kampong – this slightly larger than the one we had left earlier. After more polyglot debate with full arm and hand movements, I was convinced that my quarry was the man people had seen getting into a car which had entered the village a short while before. Then I knew why the cyclist – he had been sent off to arrange the vehicle rendezvous.
The man was not recaptured. He returned to his own village – dead in the back of a car. His wound had become infected and he died of gangrene poisoning. Seremban had no more hantu of any sort. Unfortunately, my afternoon run with a dog must have scared off the large breasted lady. Although I saw many strange looking ladies in the dance halls – forerunners of the Thai lady-boys – none had their secondary sexual characteristics where they might have had a knapsack.

The law is a donkey - discuss

There can be no doubt that a majority of us are losing any feeling of confidence in the way justice is run. There seem to be three main areas – the prevention of crimes, dealing with juvenile offenders and frustration by victims of crime. We are informed of decline in some crime rates but the publics’ perception is that it is in fact increasing and any claimed improvement comes from manipulation rather than hard facts. The types of crime now reported are felt to threaten our culture and the legal trend does not relate to their values. There are feelings of trepidation and uncertainty.
To try to counter these fears we need to examine why these feelings exist. Why, today, do we feel less secure? What is it that we can't get right today that a generation ago it seemed that we could? There is no single explanation for this. Back then, communities were smaller and more standardised than they are now. We have become pluralistic and dissimilar. The influx of immigrants and refugees has brought new perceptions. Old ideas are being increasingly reviewed and revised. Those who did not have a voice now have greater opportunity to make themselves heard. There are increasing numbers of non-government organisations and action groups who well know how to make their presence felt and create difficulties for the Establishment. Politics are no longer the exclusive to the elite. Legislation is badly drafted and hurriedly introduced and falls apart at the first real hurdle in courts. Judges retain their independence in the face of directives from Ministers. Our multi-ethnic society means that there is no longer Mr. Average Britain on the top deck of the Clapham omnibus.
Instead of an upper, middle and lower class system we now have a fragmented society. People – regardless of old class structures – see their own concerns and priorities. This renders it difficult to define, still less achieve, consensus; a state the justice system is very concerned about. Recent publicity about errors made by ‘experts’, faulty judicial decisions and ‘spin’ or ‘sexing-up’ has meant there is a public distrust of all experts and elite bodies. “This government does not represent me or my friends. Is this democracy?” Into this fertile midden comes the media. They have their own agenda. Sensationalism replaces balanced reporting. Bad news sells papers. News has to be condensed into a 15 second sound bite. Crime is reported from the standpoint of ‘end of the world as we know it’. Events that were unknown outside foreign countries or other areas of our own land are now covered in great detail but still in such as way as will attract maximum attention and outrage. The cost of legal action against any part of the media is such that only a fool will take them on.
In the middle of all this are the victims and their relatives. They are hounded by the media. “How does it feel to have had your daughter blown up on a Tube train Mrs Smith” Even if they manage to keep their suffering private, reports will still appear from reporters convinced they know what suffering really is. Think-pieces and columnists dig out the bones and strew them around like cats at refuse bags. There is, for the sufferers, no dignified involvement wherein lies possibility of therapeutic benefit. They are made to appear as onlookers within the legal system with no support for events that have changed their lives forever. They must have better access to proper and timely information. This must also be made available to the media so that we regain our trust that what we are seeing is reliable and unbiased. Official web sites should also carry this information for those who find it hard to accept media brain-washing.
The main attention though, needs to be given to crime prevention. This is where a government can make the best initiatives. The cost of crime – fiscal, environmental and to human beings – is immense. Maximum effort must be devoted to stopping crime in it’s tracks. Right from prevention starting with young persons, through to hardened criminals and up to recidivists.
The community needs to say what makes them scared and what would make them feel secure and safe. Not focus groups or seven out of nine like a dog food commercial. The community. Whatever is then decided upon has to have a multi-headed attack plan. All must play their part – it is not acceptable to act as if paying ones Police rate solves all. Teachers, role models, all the caring professions, community leaders, religious leaders, social services must all be on board. Parents must not think that schools will do their job of socialising their offspring.
This is the part where I have no glib reasoning or answers. It is the hardest part of all. I am convinced it is the answer but I cannot think how to get a unified, all-encompassing response and reaction. Care to help me out?

Our hero

The whole of our space in the great wide world is today devoted to this wonderful story.

Rolling Stone & Moss

Just when I thought that the saga the press have made about Kate Moss had concluded, I came upon a report that the Church of Scientology has offered her help with her drug problems. That she is rich and has a high public profile is not the reason behind this act of charity. Yeah – right.
I see it as yet another example of the power of the press. Kate was outed by the Daily Mirror who got into an area where things are normally too busy to tolerate anyone not directly involved in things. Obviously, it was just coincidence that a few months previously, she had won a fair sum in a libel case against that rag when they alleged she was a user of drugs. That element of schadenfreude which lives in us all was instrumental in ensuring that a media panic started it’s run. She was depicted as the poor little rich girl who had sacrificed her career because she was besotted with, and under the malign influence of, some 92nd rate entertainer who had not even had a career. Once she had stumbled on the drugs story, her supposed downfall was hastened by revelations of sex orgies.
Suppose we look at some of the background in more detail. She started out at as a young teenager. She rapidly became the first of what we now choose to call super-models. The “would not even get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day” brigade. She was captured on film by the very top photographers – all of whom declared her as the thorough professional of whom it was impossible to take a poor shot. That has not changed – her working life is without complaint.
So, what is the complaint? Those people who paid her some £8 million per year to headline their products, thought she was a bad role model. Leave aside the sex claims – the majority of her young admirers would have given their eye teeth to do 3 in a bed with Jude Law – and think back about drug use. She was the model who use came under some criticism when it was suggested that she was being used to depict ‘drug-chic’. Her whole image at that time was of a seemingly anorexic woman wasted on drugs. Yet, this same person was the one signed up to headline campaigns by those who now shy back in fright.
And whence cometh this fear of association with drugs? Does anyone really think that she is the only attractive (but bow-legged) female who enjoys the Columbian marching powder? I have been to events where one would think that the queues for toilet cubicles were indicative of massive food poisoning or widespread diarrhoea. Even my jaundiced opinion of the young of today fails to accept that they work on the basis of “Oh. Kate does that. I’ll have to have a go” If their minds did work at that level, we would need the whole of CPS to deal with Jordan and her influence.
So, rather than allow things to be superseded by some other inconsequential ‘drama’. We have the Commissioner of the Met. Announcing a inquiry. This will drag out the media interest and yet more discussion of the pros and cons will ensure. The ‘Establishment’ will pontificate and this on it’s own will cause the youngsters to side with Moss.
I do not see her as having the degree of influence that is alleged. I certainly would not risk investing any of my money in any campaign that relies upon her have a good effect on any large number of people. If she cannot influence for good, what effect would she have as a role model for bad behaviour?
I do, however, admit that I might think about spending $9,999 to keep her in bed.

No sex please - I'm in a meeting.

WARNING. I am going to write about sex, intercourse, pregnancy and other words and thoughts that your mother might not approve of. If you do not want to know the score – look away now.
Headline in today’s Sunday Telegraph is “Women bypass sex in favour of ‘instant pregnancies’” The thrust (if I may use that word in this connection) of the article is that women are increasingly seeking IVF treatment because they do not have the time or inclination for a sex life and want to ‘diarise’ their busy lives. They are sometimes horrified at the prospect of having to have unprotected sex three times a week as seems to be necessary for natural fertilisation.
Bear in mind that we are talking about decent sums of money here. One IVF procedure can cost £2,500 and not all succeed at the first go. Given the price of turkey-basters, it seems to me that there is exploitation here. The paper bases its article on information given by the Lister Hospital and London Bridge Clinic in London. I have been a patient at both places – for surgical reasons and not as an IVF donor you understand. In my physiotherapist’s directed rambles along the corridors I would see women going into the fertilisation clinics. That they were not from the local council estate was obvious from their dress and luggage. Another conclusion I drew was that there must be a hell of a lot of reproductive illnesses as they were, in the main, desirable looking women who would have no problem attracting fertile males willing to stand the strain of thrice weekly testing.
I have doubts about other areas of this claim. Not having the time for a sex life? Where in the universe were these women living given the usual female complaint about two minutes plus ten more for a shower? The making of appointments, consulting, travel to and from surely took up more than twelve minutes times three? After all, they must be accustomed to multi-tasking. One supposes they did not get their PA or secretary to make all the arrangements so all time spent was what their business degrees called ‘prime time’.
Disinclined to sex? We are often told that the maternal drive is a strong desire in female considerations. One on one sex is necessary to conceive naturally – I’m sure that Mummy told them that much. How could they be disinclined to sublimate their distaste in the actions necessary to achieve fertilisation? The alternative of a complete stranger using a bright light and oohing and aahing at their nether regions surely cannot be acceptable to a natural procedure generally undertaken in private in the dark. Or even as a threesome with full surround sound and vision? As one who has undergone prostate examination, it is difficult to remain sanguine and unmoved by this sort of scrutiny.
If the claim regarding availability of time is to be taken at face value, how will Yummy Mummy deal with the kid? Feeding – OK, wet nurse or expression. Cleaning – Nurse Ingrid. Where is the bonding to take place? My take on it is that they really do not want children. They have followed the pattern of their class all along – pony club, prep school, university, ‘good’ job, appropriate husband or partner, charity works. Next comes a child. OK – get one; does one find them at Waitrose?
And what about Daddy? He has to shell out for the consultant. Sort his work out to attend the clinic and sit in dull rooms with pornographic magazines. He then has to face the staff with his discreet little package where they all exhibit a 'We know what you've been doing' look. And all to mechanise something he does with his secretary four or five times a week!

So much for a short break.

I’ve been giving some thought to the situation in Iraq. The overall impression one gets is that things are going badly. I do not doubt that there are some projects in some areas that are working but these must be like a few green shoots above the mud and filth in New Orleans.
One of our – the coalition’s – problems is a lack of real insight as to how the Arab mind works. There is an inertia. Self-help is not very strong. The people look to the government to do (or fail to do) things. We were wrong right from the starting assumption that we would be garlanded with roses and seen as liberators with spontaneous uprisings ahead of our advance. The evil influence of Saddam Hussein was so widespread that it was like ivy on an old house. Even if pulled away, the root stayed in place. Those who may have felt glad we had invaded were too scared to do very much about it. The nights are very dark and life comes cheap.
Our foregoing reputation as members of an advanced civilisation meant that there were high expectations as to how fast we would improve the situation of everyday people. Whilst the way that they lived was pretty basic, it was a way known to the people. To get service, bribes were necessary. Who one knew was important. Corrupt – maybe, but it worked. Our arrival destroyed status quo and offered nothing in exchange. Our inability to stop the looting was a prime example. We destroyed the fabric of the country. No police. Water supply ruined. Food distribution disrupted. Medical services broken down. No indication as to when things would get better. It would be perfectly understandable for people to think that Saddam was not so bad after all. At least one had something even if it were minimal and dependent upon one keeping one’s head down and showing servility.
We seem to have concentrated on offering democracy rather than making it evident that living conditions would improve. Sure, Messrs. Halliburton are receiving large sums for work they are doing but some of it is sabotaged by insurgents and much of the rest is unknown to the man in the street. Telling me that Basra is doing well is not much comfort when I am sitting in the dark of my badly damaged house, thirsty and surrounded by sewage in Baghdad whilst wondering if my husband is working late or has been kidnapped or worse. Democracy’s definition is alien to a nation with a feudal base. Custom is that the sheikh makes the decision and the people live with it. The degree of influence from his advisers varies from not much to nil. The advisers are really little or minor sheikhs and have their own agenda anyway. I am reminded of the comment made by a white African on the subject of one man one vote. “What does the African know about a vote? He cannot eat it, sleep with it or sell it” Democracy has many drawbacks. It encourages those who make unlikely promises to an electorate that has little real understanding as to how politics works. I consider that much of the problem reference defining Iraqi democracy is based upon this lack of understanding. They promised much and now do not have any idea as to how they may honour those promises.
What is to be done? To get it right is, in my opinion, almost impossible. It is just as if we in the UK were suddenly committed to running the country from January 2006 as a Buddhist state. Too much of a change, too little explained, too soon. We have to come to some sort of fudge. Get the level of violence down. Find leaders who can – by hook or by crook – actually lead the people. If that be one of those we define as militia – so be it. Once things are quiet we should set a date by which we will be gone. Find a way to keep the now-recognised militia on side until that date. Once we have gone, internal forces will sort things out. Our task should be to work to keep the nascent country free from outside influence. The same assistance with infrastructure could continue. Our political machinations could well include some sort of favoured status for the coalition. Don’t tell me this is unprincipled or undemocratic. It worked on very similar lines in Northern Ireland didn’t it? Sinn Fein/IRA stopped the obvious attacks on security forces and got influence that they would never have enjoyed from an unattainable military victory.
  

When a sheepdog gets bored, it can easily adapt and find something to amuse itself.
Not so for me.
My own efforts at blogging led me to collect a large number of journals that I found interesting, challenging or educational. In that insidious way that side-bars have, most of these led me to yet more writing that I found attractive. I started to try to analyze the best of these and came up with a conclusion. The skill of writing has to be bolstered by interesting subjects. Yes - creative writing allows drafting dreams and journalistic compositions follow the old adage 'write about what you know'
Whilst compared to the youth of today, my 100 word essay is War & Peace re-done, I really just string a good vocabulary along a washing line of verbs. Recounting what I know leads me down the road of 'When I was a lad...'. That brings us back to boredom.
So - a pause for reflection. Can I regain that sense of being part of a big adventure; indeed, is it now an adventure at all? I see it as something akin to climbing Everest. Those first at the summit went through a heck of a lot of pain and suffering. Now, it is almost down to little old blue rinsed ladies in tennis shoes going up in groups of 20 or 30. I would not wish to get to the top in such unchallenging conditions that have evolved.
I think I'll get in touch with Kate Moss' agents and offer myself as a surrogate lover who would get her off the drugs and lesbian sex of which she stands accused. That way I can combine being creative and what I know.

Advances in bringing-up of children

Children should be seen and not heard
Do as I say not as I do
Don’t care was made to care
No pain no gain
Spare the rod and spoil the child
Speak when you are spoken to, not before
What you don’t eat now you will get as breakfast

These are just some of the admonishments I regularly heard when I was young. Most often, emphasised or reinforced by the laying on of hands. What this practice did for me I cannot be sure. I did discover that they were all very valid if I wished to avoid pain. I soon learnt the sort of conduct that would bring about their being voiced along with their associated sting. None of them made me feel like taking a (non-existent) automatic rifle into school or mess about with the brakes on the parental car. I suppose that I had no resentment about my treatment as it seemed all other children were treated much the same. One regularly saw children being smacked about the head or on the backs of their knees exposed below short trousers. Life was hard and brutish for youngsters.

Now, of course, all of the above are totally out of order. Anyone employing these methods of child training and discipline would rightly end up in court. In the main, children grow up in a world of kindness and forbearance of their juvenile conduct.

Wonder why it is that almost anything one looks at in respect of the youth of today, we find they have many problems and cause many problems? Isn’t there a neat little saying about throwing baby out with the bath water?

Commitment

So, Renee Zellweger has started backing out of her marriage. An annulment; this generally meaning there was some sort of fraud involved. Not financial fraud - though it could be that of course. Seems she was not turning up with him where he was singing. Having heard him I can understand that. He didn't go to the Hollywood-scene events she attended. Maybe it was that. There was a lack of commitment shall we say.
I've turned these pages over to Fred Reed as a sort of guest writer. Just so long as he is happy with the mention and doesn't want money. However, some while back he wrote this on the question of commitment and I'm going to place it before you.
Ladies and gentlemen (drum roll) Mr. Fred Reed

Sex Finally Explained!

Fred Did It, His Own Self

I'm trying to figure out sex, and why people get in an uproar about it, and run around waving their arms and hollering, and everybody's mad at everybody else.

It's because men can't tell sex from tennis. We can't help it. It's a character defect built into us, like tail fins on a fifty-seven T-Bird.

Yep. That's it. I've just solved the question of the ages. Right here. Contributions welcome.

Best I can tell, ninety-eight percent of women are mad because all men want is sex. (Actually we want other things too, like big-block engines, dogs, and really bad movies with lots of gratuitous violence.) On the other hand, men are ready to become monks. It's because they can't talk to a woman for five minutes on a bus before she wants commitment. To a woman commitment seems so obviously good that she can't see why he'd rather have pellagra. Which is what men think about sex. So the two glare at each other like two possums with only one garbage can.

It's too bad. A lot of people end up being unhappy because of it.

The problem, it says here, is that to men sex is a primal drive that doesn't have much emotional content. It's just sex. It's like when you have athlete's foot, you scratch it, but you don't have an emotional bond to it. Sure, a guy can commit to a woman, as evidenced by innumerable marriages that happen despite experience and common sense. Sex can have emotional importance to him with a woman he wants to keep. But he doesn't have a hard-wired connection between sex and commitment. To him they're separate things, like jackhammers and Vienna sausages. You can have both at the same time, but you don't have to.

By contrast, for women, sex seems epoxied to a lot of emotional freight. A woman sees sex as a step toward commitment, as fifty years ago a man saw commitment as a step toward sex. When the man doesn't see the connection, she thinks he's just plain wrong-headed, and mean spirited, and a nickel-plated sumbitch.

Which brings us to tennis. (Bet you didn't see that coming.)

Men think of sex the way they think of tennis. Suppose I want to work off some energy. I call my buddy Ralph, and we meet at the courts, and have a good time for a few sets -- sweat and grunt, twist our ankles, fall down and break things, and end up in a mild coma.

When we're through, he doesn't want me to marry him. When in fact I don't, he doesn't feel exploited. In fact, he feels deeply relieved.

That's how men look at sex. A man genuinely doesn't understand why he can't say to the young lady in the next cubicle, "Hey, Jane, what say we go to my place at lunch for a roll in the hay?" ("Fred -- you've got hay at your place?") He may like Jane, think she's bright and fun, have no slight desire to exploit, use, or degrade her. They may have been friends for years. But if he made what would seem to him a perfectly reasonable suggestion, she would explode and file at least a dozen lawsuits.

Yet he knows that she isn't opposed to sex, and isn't opposed to him. If he took her to three movies, so that the whiff of commitment hung heavy in the air, like methane over a summer swamp, she'd be worried if he didn't make the suggestion. So why not . . . ?

He doesn't get it.

The woman's lack of the tennis instinct, or the man's possession of it, complicates life for everyone. It ain't her fault. It ain't his fault. It's how we are.

To aggravate things, we're timed all wrong, like streetlights in New Jersey. After a certain age, somewhere around thirty, a woman's interest in commitment rises, while a man's declines -- just as a man's sex drive declines as hers rises. (Actually, sex may be a vast practical joke. If there's a better explanation, I haven't heard it.) Guys who are single in their mid-thirties are frequently comfortable with bachelorhood or, having been raped in the divorce courts, attached to it as tenaciously as panicked barnacles. And so guys, not looking for marriage, go into relationships knowing that they are going to end miserably. Three months, and the Marriage Monster raises its fanged head. It's as predictable as morning.

Somehow having a mate seems much more crucial to women than to men. A guy with a girlfriend may figure she's peaches, better than a competition yo-yo with extra strings. He may be proud of her and proud of himself for having her. If the Red Army attacked her, he'd leap in front of her like a spring-wound damned fool and die a pointless but gaudy death. (That too is built in.) But she will still be only a part of his world, along with motorcycles, the job, great software, rock climbing, or drinking beer and talking dirty with other guys.

Maybe this is why men are happier than women with intermediate degrees of commitment. If Willie Bob starts dating Maggie Lou, and she's fun, he'll just naturally keep on doing it. Left to himself, two years later or twenty, he would still be dating her, and be perfectly happy. His attitude is that if it works, why meddle with it? He doesn't see dating as having to Go Somewhere like an evicted tenant. Depending on how much company he really wants, he may figure seeing her three times a week, and being left alone the rest of the time, is just right. He isn't exploiting her. He's just happy as things are.

She won't see it this way, or at least not for long. It's not because there's anything wrong with her, or with women, or for that matter with men. We've just got different operating systems. What she sees as God's intended result of dating, so clearly right as not to be examined, he sees as at best an unnecessary complication, at worst as giving up title to his house. He asks the, to him, reasonable questions: "Gee, Maggie, what would be better if we got married? Would sex be better? Food? What's your point?" He's genuinely puzzled. She thinks he's being exploitative, that she has been had again, another five years wasted, men, the bastards.

There's got to be a better way. I just don't know what it is. www.fredoneverything.net

Pleasures of friendship

I had a telephone call today from a friend. Nothing unusual in that I hear someone say. Well, in this case there was. My caller was someone I first met just about ten years ago and last met over six years ago. A male work colleague. I never formed the opinion that we were close friends but my work strayed into his area of responsibility and vice versa. We would attend corporate hostility things together because that is how we were invited. I suppose the only shared personal interests we had were dogs and photography.
What struck me as unusual today was that he referred to himself as an 'old friend'. Back when we saw each other regularly, I regarded him as more of a acquaintance at work than as a friend. It was just as easy to get along with him as it was to fall out or be at loggerheads. Working relationships jog along better within a friendly atmosphere and the Bosses are happier. My caller today gave the reason that he was updating an old contacts list and seeing my name prompted him to call.
After we finished speaking with the usual protestations that we would do better at maintaining contact I started thinking just who else might call proclaiming we were brothers in arms. Obviously, family - mine and Norma's - were included. Other than the kids I have no family above ground. Norma's people were many but they are whittling down as age bites. There is a young woman who worked as one of my mail clerks whom I pushed up the promotion ladder very quickly. She writes at Christmas and on my birthday. That was about the sum total of friends I had made in civilian life stretching back to 1974. Friends? Hardly. I prefer a solitary life and am well able to live life on my own without a network of supporters - so far that is.
But, curiously, I do have a number of people whom I regard as very valuable and staunch. These are guys who were in the Army with me. Our friendship started over fifty years ago. Some of them I have not seen for thirty or so years. We may not have spoken in that thirty odd years. It could be that I would not now recognise them should we meet by chance. Where I have met some more recently, we pick up as if we were together just a few days previously. Instant sunshine.
I cannot work out just what makes these Service pals so very much more attractive and durable than people I met as a civilian. It is not as if we went through any great cathartic experience together. Maybe, as other ranks, we shared a dislike of officers and their doings but even this dislike was never very strong. Certainly not enough to bind us as we did. I take part in a forum with five or six of these guys and we banter about things way way back in the same style and manner as we did when we actually saw each other more frequently.
Whatever it is, this is what I understand as friendship. I think I have satified myself why I was amazed at my caller regarding himself as a friend. He lacked the sort of friends I have and was having to do with second or third best.

Nice to know why I do this

A new "Blog Trends Survey," conducted for online giant America Online July 17 to 22, 2005 through Opinion Place by Digital Marketing Services found that most bloggers aren't hanging shingles as wanna-be cyber-journalists, political activists, or covering news. Instead, nearly half surveyed bloggers say they use the online journals as a form of therapy, writing about personal issues and events.
The survey questioned 600 people over 18 years of age who write one or more blogs on the Web. The resuls showed nearly 50 percent of bloggers write online journals as a form of self-therapy, with fully one third writing about self-help and self-esteem topics. In times of high anxiety or need, 32 percent of surveyed bloggers said they turn to family and friends, but nearly as many (31 percent) said they turn to writing in their blog or reading blogs of people experiencing similar issues. (In contrast, only five percent said they seek counseling or professional help during these times.)
In contrast, only 16 percent of bloggers say they're interested in journalism, and only 12 percent use their blogs to break or keep up with news and gossip, and a mere 8 percent write a blog with political content.
Bloggers also reported they don't feel much pressure to write a blog: only 16 percent reported they keep a blog because it's trendy, although 21 percent said they write because their families or friends do. Two thirds of surveyed bloggers said they feel they can write about anything they like, and roughly two thirds also reported that, while they care how often blogs they read are updated, they don't feel obligation to update their own blogs regularly or frequently.
Similarly, only 12 percent worry about their blogs being witty or funny, only 23 percent worry about offending anybody with their postings, and 60 percent say their blogging personality is "laid back", while 3.8 percent describe themselves as perfectionists or compulsive bloggers. However, for all bloggers' relaxed attitudes, the audience still matters a bit: 65 percent report feelings of disappointment if they receive abusive or negative comments.
This is where this came from http://news.designtechnica.com/article8336.html

Oh heck!

I think I would prefer not to know this. Of course, it comes from the Press in America so it may be something along the lines of little green men and flying saucers abducting the local village idiot.

15 September. Three lab mice carrying deadly strains of plague have turned up missing from separate cages at a bioterror research facility in Newark, sparking a hushed, intensive investigation by federal and state authorities.

Racist bigot bstard

Way way way back when I first started this blogging mania, I set out certain things about my personality. Main amongst these was my conviction that I had been an undiagnosed sufferer of Aspergers Syndrome. Undiagnosed because the Syndrome had not been formed in my childhood. My youth and late teens were marked by efforts made by others to ‘cure’ my behaviour which was seen as anti-social. I will dignify these efforts as tough love and, whilst I cannot see that they cured the Syndrome, they forced me to recognise that some things were unacceptable to other people and I had best modify my manners. One of the things I had to deal with was my attitude towards others not of my race. I saw them as different – not inferior or superior – just dissimilar. Until relatively recently, this attitude was not controversial. Now however, one is thought of as a racist or bigoted. Any debate about the difference will be diverted into inevitable argument and derision. I adopted a position that I call reverse apartheid. Instead of keeping others away from me, I kept myself away from them. Physically, mentally and socially. As I do not have any specific animus towards those of other skin pigment or race, I would like to enter into a debate on the points they make when complaining about the way they are treated or regarded.

It is this background that makes me enjoy the writing of Fred Reed. He has the ability to say things the way I would and the exposure that makes it possible for him to express his views.

Deep thoughts lurk here

If you are short of a good book to read, have a look at this report about my old mate Mazlow. He has some quite developed ideas about what makes a satisfied individual. At one time, I was a great fan of his Triangle of Needs and could use it to describe just about anyone with whom I came into contact. I had stopped at a fairly low level of the Triangle and wondered what it was that stopped me following the path detailed by The Master.
Discussion with those more learned than I - yes, maybe with the alcoholics under the bridge - showed that I had in fact got to the top of his triangle by getting a full grip on what he describes as Adventure. Adventure is the need for an adrenaline rush, to have new experiences, to travel, to have major experiences, to have drama in their life, to have a sense of anticipation about upcoming events. I have been described as an adrenaline junky. If I cannot access the juice, I may create a situation where fight or flight becomes important. Not always a good thing.
I found psychology and sociology very interesting when I did my studies courtesy of OU. I thought that my service life had taught me a heck of a lot about these. What I got from the formal studies was WHY things I foresaw actually arose or came about. People are fascinating and Maslow is a good place to start. Even if you just look-in to see what is your prime motivator or need.

The Mouse wandered

Oh – good Lord!
I was in M & S web looking for ideas for a lunchtime sandwich. Whilst I agree that in certain circumstances, this would form a very acceptable sandwich, I think it would be a bit too rich at my time of life.

Same shit - different date.

It seems that the Government has a busy agenda for today. Amongst other things I see:

1. Early reports this morning suggest that with fuel protestors numbering in the dozens, widespread disruption to petrol supplies is not likely. Ahead of the protests the head of the Environment Agency urged ministers to stand firm in the face of "sabre-rattling" from the haulage industry. Talking to ePolitix.com, Baroness Young, the agency's chief executive, said the industry was failing to take advantage of government services which would help them use fuel more efficiently. "It is always disappointing if government wavers in the face of blackmail," she added. Will she repeat this to those engaged in dealings with Sinn Fein/IRA? Are there not situations where the Government is the blackmailer? Oh yes – where is pc now with the adverse connotations of blackmail?


2. The Ulster secretary has announced that the government no longer recognises the Ulster Volunteer Force and Red Hand Commando ceasefires. Peter Hain told BBC Radio 4's Today programme: "What I have done in this decision overnight is to send an absolutely crystal clear signal out to everybody that we will not tolerate violence, that it does not pay." The Cabinet minister also holds talks on loyalist violence and the peace process with a Sinn Fein delegation including Martin McGuinness, Gerry Kelly and Alex Maskey. Surely the very fact that he will meet and discuss such matters with three (supposedly ex-) terrorists makes a nonsense of his declaration of the value of violence.


3. Foreign secretary Jack Straw delivers a keynote speech at the International Institute for Strategic Studies on 'why Iran matters'. Can he include George Bush in the distribution of his draft speech?


4. Culture secretary Tessa Jowell today defends the government's decision not to require cricket Tests to be broadcast on free terrestrial television. Writing in the Telegraph, she says that the government is unable to prevent the contract with Sky going ahead. They have already protected some sporting etc. events saying they are Heritage Events and have to be shown free-to-air.


5. Environment secretary Margaret Beckett delivers a keynote speech in New York on green issues. Appropriate given the backlash about conditions in New Orleans>


6. Defence secretary John Reid holds talks with his Russian counterpart. How to stage a withdrawal from Afghanistan that looks reasonable?


7. Health secretary Patricia Hewitt delivers a speech on care outside hospital. Most likely place to find it – outside.


8. The government's environmental watchdog has warned ministers not to "throw the baby out with the bathwater" in their drive to reduce red tape. Speaking to ePolitix.com, the chief executive of the Environment Agency said that "modern regulation" should not become "no regulation or deregulation". Baroness Young said it was possible to reduce the burdens on businesses without lowering standards of environmental protection. But she also highlighted the usefulness of government rules, saying they could create employment and encourage innovation. There was also a call for ministers to bring forward new incentives for environment-friendly behaviour. And consumption should be tackled by "getting up the price of things that we don't want consumed", she added. Rules = employment. Gainful employment or checkers of tick-boxes on official forms


9. Rural affairs minister Jim McKnight launches a consultation on heather and grass burning and is later among the speakers at the LGA's annual rural conference. Something tha has been done since time immemorial - what's new?
   


10. Sports minister Richard Caborn begins a regional Olympics tour in Cornwall. Likely to achieve a great deal towards an event centred on a relatively small part of London.


11. Jim Murphy, Cabinet Office minister with responsibility for e-government visits the Isle of Lewis to see how IT helps improve the lives of people in remote areas. Can someone not just tell him and save an expensive visit. If IT is so good – what price video-conferencing.

All in all, they’d be better off sitting at the Oval watching re-runs on the big screen.

Anyone smell a rat?

I have been re-reading the official 9/11 report. It is quite a complex document and requires study and not just reading. The style of the report is innovative to anyone who reads UK-style government reports as it is more like a novel that a Chapter 1, section 1 The Beginning sort of thing. I wanted to give it a bit of a revision after the hurricane of theories that have grown up around the incident. Real conspiracy-theory fodder certainly but some of these do seem well constructed.
Lots of things in the official story just don’t seem, prima-facie, to line up. There is the Pentagon attack where a considerable body of ‘evidence’ suggests that it was a missile strike and not a large airliner crashing into the building. Seems that Old Rummy has spoken in public about missile strike. Given he is a bit flaky, nothing conclusive about that but it is just another pennyweight on the scales of belief.
There is also argument about recovery of any black boxes. Seems labourers at WTC are quite clear that such items were recovered but that mention of these finds was muffled by the FBI. There is a suggestion that the second aircraft which struck the WTC was a military 767/300 and not a American Airline 767/200. Different shape and weapons pods under the wings are cited as background for this allegation. It is almost arbitrary in all good conspiracy theories that someone who gets close to ‘The Truth’ dies either at their own hand or some unlikely accident. Yes – there’s one here as well in the form of a TV reporter who claims that he was warned in an anonymous telephone call that he would be killed if he did not cease his inquiry. Sure enough, he dies in what looked like suicide and none of his friends is able to explain what made him do this.
There were initial reports that identification of the terrorists on the planes was wrong. Of these 19, seven have resurfaced alive and well. It is claimed. This may have a reasonable foundation as some deceased’s parents denied that their lovely boy could not possibly have done such a thing. Formal identity is not a high priority in many Arab countries,
There are a myriad pieces of ‘evidence’ which support these theories. As fast as the conspiracy supporters make their claims, the debunkers hit back. Just doing a search on Google for 911 Conspiracy shows how near to a business it has all become. One ‘fact’ has taken on a life of it’s own. Muslim media firmly believes that the attack on WTC was not just an attempt to divert attention from poor economics but involved Israel. This comes from a "news report" that 4,000 Israelis called in sick from their jobs at the World Trade Center on Sept. 11. Nice, but no where near that number were employed in the building.
For?
Counter
And a nice Wiki

Might be a cop?

You Might Be A Cop If....You have the bladder capacity of five people. You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience. You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm. You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal. You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person. You find humour in other people's stupidity. You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see. You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance. You believe that a "shallow gene pool" should be grounds for an arrest. You believe that the Government should require a permit to reproduce. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is quiet around here". You believe that chocolate is a food group. You have wanted to hold a seminar on "Suicide, getting it right the first time., You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid jury verdict. You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably. You have wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to a particular bar. You believe the dispatcher is possessed. You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form. You have heard: "I have no idea how that got there," on more than a few occasions. You suddenly realize one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone. You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in your patrol car.

Better than nothing?

Anti-terror police told to target Asians
A fresh row over stop-and-search powers has erupted after it emerged anti-terrorist police had received orders to single out black and Asian people.Civil liberties campaigners and black groups have reacted furiously over orders to the British Transport Police which say terrorist suspects are of "Asian, West Indian and east African origin". They have urged the Commission for Racial Equality to investigate.Independent8:35:13 AM   

Well, why not? Generalise or specific targets? I care not so long as someone is doing something and not just walking about with their thumbs up their fundament.

Give me back my Youth

I was waiting for a prescription at the chemists today when I was spoken to by a, what is it they call them, Lady of A Certain Age? I did not understand her approach at first – it was not as if either of us had stepped on the other’s toes. She was asking me if I had enjoyed the final day of the cricket. As I was not wearing my MCC tie at the time, (irony) she had no way of knowing if I was a supporter of Kipling and his muddied oafs. But, no, she gabbled on which gave me the chance to observe her more fully.

She was well coiffured and the war paint was impressive if a little much for Duns at 10:30 in the morning. She was quite trim and curvaceous in the Marilyn Monroe slightly chubby sort of way. Her secondary sexual characteristics were displayed in a style akin to Rigby and Pellier’s finest products where they were lifted as if on a shelf but not crammed together like economy class passengers. From the front, she suggested a nice backside. She had a quiet voice, upper register. I could not tell if she were one of those Scots who have no discernable accent or English. She had the habit of a low-frequency blink which served to draw attention to lashes and eye-socket make up. She seemed to hold her hands at about bust level and to flutter them to add emphasis to her speech. I was able to get this input in a very quick manner due to my many years as a heterosexual male with quick eyes. She remained on the subject of our cricket re-birth. I empathised with the occasional hmmn, hum or whatever one does.

I was served. I said to my Mata Hari look-alike that I had to go and wished her good day. It was as she manoeuvred to get ahead of me that I looked down at her feet and I then realised that I had been accosted by a Fluffragette. The idea behind this was explained by Cherri Gilham in her “Fluffy Manifesto” in the Daily Mail. A fluffragette is a pre-feminist type of woman who aims to control men by using feminine wiles and sexual power. As Ms Gilham put it, they intend to, “giggle, pout, flirt and coo” their way to emancipation. The term was popularised in a rejoinder by Suzanne Moore, a feminist and columnist in the Independent (and formerly of the Guardian, where she had a huge spat with Dr Germaine Greer, who famously described her as wearing fuck-me shoes, a term invented in the eighties). My accoster was wearing incredibly sexy shoes. Just little straps of almost nothing. Think Audrey Hepburn having Breakfast at Tiffanies. Of the whole composition that was My Mysterious Woman, these tiny flimsy sandals were the most expressive element. Sex on wheels – with a message exactly as described by the educated Aussie. I left the shop and looked around the Square. I almost expected to see a Daimler with a chauffeur booted and spurred. No – nothing out of the ordinary. Who she is or was, I do not know. What caused her to open a conversation with me is also a mystery. Whilst I was the best looking male in an otherwise empty shop, that does not explain it. At my advanced age, I was content to let things lie as they fell but in retrospect, it was very intriguing. Ships that pass in the night and all that sort of thing.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/articles/wordsof97.htm

Some advice is just too obvious

Jews and Freemasons controlled war on Iraq, says No 10 adviser
By Toby Helm(Filed: 12/09/2005)
Tony Blair decided to wage war on Iraq after coming under the influence of a "sinister" group of Jews and Freemasons, a Muslim barrister who advises the Prime Minister has claimed.
Might sound unbelievable but that is what the guy said. No 10 has said that B Liar does not always act on what he is advised. Fine – this nutter has a history of rabid comments about freemasonry and Israel so how the hell was he ever appointed to be an adviser?

New Mandy assistant.

Seems Mandy claims his eye was taken of the ball re bra etc imports from China because he was just too too busy.
He has been given a new assistant (left)

The World in which I have to live today

Peter Hain has condemned another night of loyalist violence in Belfast. "This is taking Northern Ireland, or attempting to take it, back to a hideous dark past," he told BBC Breakfast. "These were serious attempts to kill police in some instances. This is really not loyalism but gangsterism masquerading in this community." Sinn Fein's Mitchel McLaughlin told Radio 4's Today programme there is "an absolute vacuum of leadership within unionism at the present time". Later today chief constable Sir Hugh Orde will brief the Northern Ireland secretary on the riots, which left at least 18 more officers injured overnight.

The involvement of troops in NI came after demonstrators found a way of rent-a-rioters in dispersed geographical locations so that the then RUC became worn out travelling from one riot to another. Billy Bliar will be in trouble if he has to find soldiers to beef up the PSNI. The police feel hard done by and morale will not run on zero if they sustain too many causalities. They are a police SERVICE not a police FORCE.

David Blunkett is planning a major shake-up of the welfare state. In an interview with the Independent, the work and pensions secretary says a green paper to be published next month will go much further than reform of incapacity benefit. "It is going to be a radical look. I want to go wider than incapacity benefit," he says. "The whole benefit system is a patchwork of past ameliorations and contradictions, with sticking plaster all over the place."

Cheap jibe here is what he will do about working mothers who cannot work as they find themselves harassed by putative fathers seeking access to the kid with two daddies.

Labour peer Lord Layard calls for a network of 250 treatment centres to offer psychological therapy to the public. In a lecture to be delivered at the Sainsbury Centre for Mental Health, he warns that unhappiness is Britain's "biggest social problem".

Sort of ‘drop-in’ centre for depressives? Can you imagine the scene in your local super-market? Very small queue at Customer Complaint and a loop around the store and out of the door of assorted nutters, weirdoes and people annoyed at not being invited to Jordan’s wedding – count me in for some of that. My draft has a red line under nutters – is it warning me that this is a new non-p.c. term?

Murphy's Law

Dealing with terrorists.
Is this the way to go?

Read about it here....

Small things amuse small minds

Well - it made me laugh.

Fleeing the Cuckoo's Nest

Advisers appointed by British Prime Minister Tony Blair are proposing that Britain get rid of Holocaust Memorial Day because Muslims find it offensive, the British Sunday Times reported.
That seems to be the latest from the funny farm that is the caring, empathy-showing government of nuts currently trying to run this country (into the ground). At a time when it seems important to show that Muslims cannot have everything they want in pursuit of an Islamic world, we are examining how to roll over once more.
Yes – they might find it offensive. What degree of this offence comes from their extremists who rant that Israel should be driven into the sea? I might say that the sight of dogs copulating in the street is offensive to me. After explanation, I might find it less upsetting. On a side note, why do we see less of doggy sex in the street than I remember as a kid?
What needs to be explained is that it is the enormity of what the holocaust was in itself that is being remembered. The way in which human beings could be corrupted into the planning and arrangements required. The total lack of humanity in the way the massacre was carried out. The obscene disposal of victims. That this was not isolated to a few might be seen in the denial of those who lived under the black clouds of humans being incinerated. The continued arrogance of those same people when marched around extermination camps when these were exposed to us.
Whatever onlookers may say of the way Israel has reacted to the intifada, there has been no suggestion that deaths of Palestinians and others has been planned. If Muslims want some day to remember their dead, let them exercise a democratic right to achieve this. Holocaust Day was not handed to the Jews on a plate. If we talk about offence to some particular community, what offence will we cause to the Jews by getting rid of it?
Oh yes – admission time. Islamic demands do leave me cold. I am antipathetic to almost all Jewish propaganda and can recognise the difference between Zionists and Jews.
I know this opening resembles a rant. Given last night’s dreams, I should be watchful lest I am sent off to the care of Nurse Mildred Ratched. At some stage I was in what looked like a hospital room. Every so often, groups of up to six people in white coats would come into the room. No physical examination was made but they made notes on clipboards. No one spoke. I tried to leave my room but the door was locked. There were drawn curtains but when I pulled them back, there was no window or other opening.
Finally, a big Hattie Jacques-type nurse came in. She did not approach the bed but stood just inside the door and said, “Time for electrical treatment”. I very clearly remember my reply as “Good – when I have had the ECG, maybe we will know what is wrong with my heart”. Her reply was “No. It is ECT you are getting”.
In my waking hours I am able to understand and correct for dreams, nightmares and even night horrors. This does not stop them bothering me. Whilst no way a follower of Doctor Ron Hubbard, I know the benefits that Scientology claims for micro waving the brain.
I’m off to find a compassionate American Indian who can put me out of my misery at the appropriate time.

Travel broadens the mind

Travelling amongst some strange bits of the world, one soon comes to realise that not only is there a lot of wisdom amongst seemingly illiterate persons but that they have a very good way to communicate their thoughts. I suppose it goes back to the tradition of story tellers who made their way from village to village. I think what follows is a neat example of what I am trying to convey.

Extensive travels across central Asia have taken me up the plateaus of Tibet, across the meandering middle of China, around the mountains of Nepal, and along India's littered river banks. Although each has had the power to captivate, India, without a doubt, is the most beguiling land I have ever seen. From India I journeyed North, into Kashmir-- a land of wealth and beauty, shredded by the claws of covetous neighbors.

A Kashmiri Mohammedan said to me, "God keeps men in three jars. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I answered, "you say God keeps men in three jars."

"In the first jar," the man looked at me, "God keeps the Americans. God keeps that lid very, very tight, for the Americans try their level-best (he used Indian phrases) to escape and rule the world."

I nodded, hinting a smile, saying, "God is right."

The Mohammedan smiled back, holding up a hand to quiet me, and continued, "In the second jar, God keeps the Europeans. But God does not keep that lid so tight," still holding up his hand, as if expecting interruption, "You see, God knows the Europeans also want to rule the world, but Europeans do not try hard."

"Is true, is true," I chuckled.

But, like a preacher, the man held his hand even higher, and continued on with a louder voice, "God keeps Kashmiris in the third jar, but God does not keep a lid on our jar. We also want to rule the world but every time one of us tries to escape, the rest pull him back down!" and he clenched his fist!

"Sir," my smiled faded, "It would be difficult to convey more truth with fewer words."

Going with Gonzo

"No More Games. No More bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun -- for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax -- This won't hurt."

That is what appears to be a final note from Hunter S Thompson before he shot himself with a .45 revolver whilst on the telephone to his wife. He was in pain and had been considering suicide for a number of years. When I was 30 I settled for departing at 50.

First of the super-models

This is Gia Caranji - she maybe started off the whole supermodel thing. She started in the seeming film script way of being spotted by a fashion photographer who saw what was almost an amateur photographers casual shot. She rewrote the way models lived and worked. Drugs, partying, lesbian lifestyle - all was turned on its head. She had the world at her feet - but miskicked it.
Doubtless, some will say she was just a good looking girl who got lucky. But, when you read what happened to her, it was anything but lucky. That original exposure set her off down a path of self-harm and hurt. Whether she was manipulated or just a foolish female who could not handle success does not really matter; the two feed off each other. She was someone who had looks and understood modelling. For what my opinion is worth, I think she should be better known and remembered. As someone who failed or someone who succeeded - I care not. Just remembered.

New Orleans

I have my own opinions about what went wrong. I do not have the ego that leads me to think that setting them out will reach much further than the end of my nose (which has to be close to the screen for me to read things). Part of my thoughts centre on what purpose is served by the critics who blast off before the facts are all in and whilst the whole scene is confused and highly emotional. I was pleased to read something written by a guy who is a news professional and who says what I would wish given wider circulation.

Back to moaning etc.

Gordon Brown will today set out plans for a $4bn (£2.18bn) international finance facility (IFF) which aims to save 10 million lives in the world's poorest countries. The money will finance vaccination schemes in 72 countries in an attempt to eradicate lethal diseases such as polio, hepatitis B, measles, diphtheria, yellow fever and tetanus. "What medical advance has made possible, financial stringency and the absence of creative thinking of long-term finance has frustrated," the chancellor says. "Now, by matching the power of medical advance with a wholly new innovative mechanism to front-load long-term finance, the IFF for immunisation which we are launching here today will enable 10 million lives to be saved and spare millions of families the agony of a loved one needlessly dying.
Bully for him then. I think we have some of these lethal diseases here. With MRSA as well. Most of our own Hospital Trusts are running big/massive overdrafts on their Budgets. Big in percentage terms, massive in actual money. In my school we learned to write by copying 'Charity begins at home'
In an interview with Transport Times, Alistair Darling says it makes no sense to continue operating trains and stations that have only a handful of passengers. The transport secretary says that "it is anti-train to continue to cart fresh air around the country and do nothing about it". He adds that while being in favour of keeping open local branch lines if possible, "there comes a time when a line is carrying two passengers in the morning and two in the evening, you do have to ask yourself what else we can do".
The 'Government' has been pressing for us all to use public transport. Then Darling picks up the wrong hymnsheet.
Writing in the British Medical Journal, leading doctors from the universities of Bristol, Edinburgh and Sheffield have accused the government of burying a report showing that the life expectancy of poor people is falling further behind the rest of society. A Department of Health spokesman said the claim was "nonsense".
Well thank Christ for that then. If the BMJ is right, I'll not longer have to put up with all this NuLabour crap.
Oh - and by the way. Seems that the exam results at A* level - published with great exposure - were in many cases achieved with exam marks of 40%. Some courses gave pass marks for 16%. Get your name and number right = get a result. God save us.

Aftermath

The reconstruction or resurrection of New Orleans will take a considerable time. One of the biggest tasks will be the disposal of the rubbish and items they find that are not claimed. How they will go about this - I do not know but some idea of the complexity of the task can be gathered by what they had to do with stuff from the WTC after 9/11.

Medical update

Saw the sadistic doctor yesterday. I think she may have realised what it was that set me off last time as she was all sweetness and light. I have to see the cardiology specialist. In the meantime, I've got a new drug. Haven't heard of it but, seeing it must use all the tiles in the Scrabble set, it is easy to Google. Just glancing through the leaflet (how bored must I be to read that?), I see that it is also used to inhibit breast milk. So - two benefits for the price of one there then. Main purpose for me is as a diuretic. Don't know about 'I cried a river'. I've certainly piddled one since getting these.
New Orleans seems to be on the move to the back burner. BBC TV showed a collection of the local TV reports last night and these really brought home the scale of the disaster. I think the answer is to knock everything flat and start again rather than try rebuilding. The oil industry took a big hit on wells and refinery facilities throughout the Gulf. It will be interesting to track just how they do as compared to the government's efforts in the other sectors.

Self-critique

I have just been going back over my postings.
I read like a cantankerous, cynical and thoroughly cheerless old git.
So, today I will change my ways. Nothing I write today will be bad-tempered, contemptuous or depressing.



Catch up with me tomorrow – maybe.

NIMBY

This is just someone who can do maths better than wot I kun do. Just because he is clever does not mean he talks rubbish though.

75000 British Suicide Bombers and Allies...
So the dhimmi Stalinists at the Guardian rag commissioned a poll to tell us how threatened Moslems feel nowadays, and the headline reflects that-"Two-thirds of Muslims consider leaving UK "I considered running marathons and it made me feel faint. But reading on down to the very bottom of the article, we find"A small rump, potentially running into thousands, told ICM of their support for the attacks on July 7 ...
"Orright, there are over 1,500,000 Moslems in Britain. I looked at the PDF of the raw data, and FIVE PERCENT of the respondents told a stranger that "further attacks by British suicide bombers in the U. K. are justified". Not to be expected (that was 33%), or understandable, but JUSTIFIED.Now my math is that 5% of a million and a half actually does run into exactly seventy five thousand.Without speculating on how many bomb cheerleaders lied to the poll, that gives a pretty good recruiting and support base. If I had a product to sell and I could identify a population with 5% who already wanted to buy it, I'd be rich. It's a marketer's dream.Eliminate oldsters and children, and one or two out of every 20 british Moslems thinks MORE BOMBS ARE JUSTIFIED.20 Moslems working in your office or living in your building? One of them thinks that more bombs are right and proper.
Surrender, Dorothy.

Hear this Harriet Harmen

Here’s a little something for our touchy-feely government.
Give free iPods to aged persons.
The benefits are that it will offset the onset (that’s clever writing!) of Alzheimer’s by keeping their brains exercised and nimble.
My machine has something over 3,500 tracks. These came from CDs which I bought either because of the artist, sound unheard, or because there was some song or music that I really liked on the CD. When the little disks were all neatly filed, there was little incentive to go through them searching for the bits that I actually liked. However, when I put the music onto my p.c. preparatory to loading up the player, I gave my favourites 5 star ratings. This means they get selected ahead of other tracks when the Pod plays a shuffle.
Up will come something like Run Rabbit Run. This does not really make me think of Dad’s Army but rather things that happened towards the end of the war. There is a Frankie Lane song about hula hula skirts that was all the rage when I joined the Army. I have Arab belly-dance music that drags my mind back to a cabaret girl I knew in Port Said. In addition to these melodies that relate to a general situation, I have songs that tie-in with one specific memory. Fats Domino was mentioned in reports from New Orleans. He used to sing about Blueberry Hill. When we left our wedding reception in Kuala Lumpur, this song was playing in just about every juke box in every café we passed. Blue Mink singing Banner Man takes me instantly to a particular confrontation in Belfast.
There are others that get to me just because of their general message. ‘Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose’, ‘I’d trade all of my tomorrows for just one yesterday’, ‘You can take my other suit and give it to the Salvation Army’, ‘Take this job and shove it’ Golden sounds from golden years. I looked down at my denim-clad legs today and thought ‘I’m over 40 and still wearing jeans’ Hell – I can nearly do twice that.

Baby sittinbg

Maybe this shows the risk of men baby-sitting?

What a gay day!

This is a "Brief Note" as to what our political masters and wannabe-masters plan on doing today. I will just put two questions here - up front as they say - 'cos I'm sure none will read to the end.
Question 1 - Do you see anything here which will, in itself, improve your life or will change things whilst you are still above ground?
Question 2 - If none of this happened at all, would we find ourselves in a New Orleans-type situation?
OK. Get ready. GO.......

In Brief
Prime minister Tony Blair holds bilateral talks with Chinese leaders, with the focus likely to be on ways of promoting trade and investment between the two countries, as well as sporting links ahead of the Beijing and London Olympics. EU foreign policy chief Javier Solana delivers a speech in Shanghai at the China Europe International Business School.

Ruth Kelly has threatened to close failing schools that do not improve within 12 months. Speaking at a conference organised by the Local Government Association, the education secretary will say that a new 12-month deadline will form a key plank of the white paper set to be published this autumn. "We must not allow our children in our weakest schools to suffer too long before we intervene and turn things round," says the minister. "Being in special measures for more than a year must become a thing of the past."

Two opinion polls have found that Ken Clarke would be the most popular leader of the Conservative party. A BBC survey found 40 per cent of those asked supported his candidature whilst a Populus poll for the Times gave the former chancellor 41 per cent. If Clarke was to replace Michael Howard, 12 per cent told the BBC that they were more likely to vote Tory. Only 10 per cent backed David Davis whilst 33 per cent said they had no preference between any of the candidates.

Charles Clarke holds a press briefing at the Foreign Press Association ahead of this week's meeting of European Union justice and home affairs ministers. The home secretary also holds talks with EU justice commissioner Franco Frattini.

Deputy prime minister John Prescott, Commons leader Geoff Hoon and Europe minister Douglas Alexander represent the British EU presidency during a meeting of the European parliament in Strasbourg.

Education secretary Ruth Kelly and children's commissioner Professor Al Aynsley-Green speak at a Local Government Association event on the role of local authorities in delivering learning.

Foreign secretary Jack Straw meets former North Korean prisoner Kang Cheol Hwan.

Culture secretary Tessa Jowell speaks at a seminar hosted in London by the British Paralympic Association.

Employment relations minister Gerry Sutcliffe, TUC general secretary Brendan Barber and CBI deputy director general John Cridland address a Department of Trade and Industry conference on working hours and productivity. Sutcliffe said today that "creating a culture where we work smarter rather than longer is key to improving worker satisfaction, as well as improving competitiveness, productivity and retaining skilled workers".

Malcolm Wicks has announced that a record 152 oil and gas production licences are on offer to 99 companies under the 23rd oil and gas licensing round. Speaking at the Offshore Europe 2005 Conference in Aberdeen, the energy minister says: "I'm determined that we maximise the exploitation of the remaining reserves which could be between 22 and 28 billion barrels of oil equivalent. I'm impressed with the drive and determination of the companies that are seeking to make this goal a reality."

Culture minister David Lammy launches a consultation document on the 1954 Hague Convention on looking after cultural property in times of armed conflict.

Transport minister Derek Twigg is in Merseyside to launch the Highways Agency's North West regional control centre. Twigg said: "We are investing billions of pounds to improve this country's road network. Minimising the congestion caused by accidents and managing traffic flow efficiently is vital if we are to ensure the smooth operation of our motorways for both travellers and businesses."

England cricket team stars Andrew Flintoff, Ashley Giles, Simon Jones, Steve Harmison and Matthew Hoggard have backed the government's campaign to encourage people to eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day and take plenty of exercise as part of a healthier lifestyle. "The days of cricket teas involving stodgy cakes and biscuits are long gone. We take eating fruit and vegetables very seriously as we need to be on top form for our game," Flintoff said. Public health minister Caroline Flint added: "We're delighted that the England cricket team are bowling for our side and helping us spread the 'five a day' message by supporting this initiative."

Speaking his Wiltshire constituency today, Michael Ancram implicitly criticises Kenneth Clarke's attempt to downplay his pro-European beliefs during the Tory leadership election. Ancram says the future of Europe "cannot just be swept under the carpet". "Moreover it is quite absurd to argue that the French and Dutch referendums have somehow made Europe a non-subject. Certainly not in the hearts of Euro-federalists in Brussels."

Sir Malcolm Rifkind begins a tour of Britain aimed at boosting his bid for the Conservative leadership. He delivers a speech today in Derbyshire and also plans to meet activists in London, Edinburgh, Ayr, Cardiff, Swansea, Wakefield, Birmingham, Manchester, Liverpool, Nottingham, Leicestershire, Bath, Newcastle and Croydon over the coming month. "Our plans for rebuilding the party must be focused on how we can win back support in those areas of Britain where Conservative support has declined," Sir Malcolm said. "That's why I have deliberately chosen to concentrate on areas of Britain in which there are few Conservative MPs and where the Conservative Party needs to build its strength if it is to return to government."

At an event hosted by the NHS Confederation, shadow health secretary Andrew Lansley delivers a speech on his vision of future Conservative public service policy.

Labour MP Andrew Miller and Conservative MP Sir George Young are among the speakers at a Westminster eForum seminar on 'spam, scams and security'.

The deadline passes for nominations to stand as Scottish Labour candidate in the Glasgow Cathcart by-election caused by the resignation of MSP Mike Watson.

Andrew Davies, Welsh minister for economic development, begins a four day trade visit to San Francisco.

London mayor Ken Livingstone holds his weekly press conference in City Hall.

At a press conference in Strasbourg, British MEPs call for legislative meetings of the European Council to take place in public. Timothy Kirkhope, leader of Conservative MEPs, said: "Making laws behind closed doors is plainly wrong. Transparency and openness are essential if the EU is to gain the confidence of its citizens and make its politicians more accountable. The fact that the leaders of all the British delegations have come together demonstrates the strength of feeling on this issue." Also backing the call are Labour group leader Gary Titley, Chris Davies of the Liberal Democrats, Nigel Farage of the UK Independence Party and Jean Lambert of the Green Party.

Kofi Annan chairs the first replenishment conference of the Global Fund to Fight Aids, Tuberculosis and Malaria. The United Nations secretary general speaks at the opening session of the conference and will attend the pledging session that follows. Talks with chancellor Gordon Brown, foreign secretary Jack Straw and international development secretary Hilary Benn are likely to take place at the event, which EU development commissioner Louis Michel also attends.

The Audit Commission launches a consultation on ways of cutting the costs assessment and inspections on English district councils.

OECD chief economist Jean-Philippe Cotis hosts a media briefing on the outlook for OECD economies.

Sir Anthony Holland, chairman of the Standards Board for England, delivers the closing speech at the fourth annual assembly of standards committees, hosted in Birmingham by the standards board.

The public is largely opposed to the government's plans to relax the licensing laws, according to a Populus poll for today's Times.

The survey found that voters oppose the licensing law changes by nearly two to one, with women more strongly opposed than men.

But young people favour the proposals and do not believe that they will cause more disorder and binge drinking.

The poll found that 62 per cent oppose the changes, with 34 per cent in favour.

---

Reports and Statistics

Up to 3.7 million people in England and Wales did not register to vote in 2000, according to a report from the Electoral Commission. Chairman Sam Younger said "it is vital that a system of individual registration is introduced as soon as possible". Shadow constitutional affairs secretary Oliver Heald said: "The government's obsession with electoral 'modernisation' has compromised Britain's traditional reputation for free and fair elections, and undermined both the integrity of the system and public confidence in it."

The Institute for Public Policy Research publishes a report on teacher turnover. It says that increasing pay levels is not the answer to the problem.

DrugScope publishes data on average UK street drug prices. It reveals that ecstasy pills can now be bought for as little as 50p in Portsmouth, dealers are selling 'two for one' heroin and crack 'party packs' to win new clients, and the price of heroin in Sheffield has halved to make it cheapest in the UK. Shadow home secretary David Davis said: "This shows that, far from winning the war on drugs, Labour haven't even begun to fight it."

At least 70,000 pupils skip school on average every day, according to research published by New Philanthropy Capital. Shadow schools minister Mark Hoban said: "It is very sad indeed that this government has spent over £1bn on tackling truancy and bad behaviour, and yet they still have no results to show for it."

A report from Action On Rights For Children says that nearly two-thirds of children questioned by police as possible truants were not found to be skipping school. Director Terri Dowty said: "It is unacceptable that those going about their lawful business should be subjected to police questioning."

A report on the free movement of people in an enlarged European Union is published by the European Citizen Action Service.

The British Retail Consortium publishes August's retail sales data. It finds that like-for-like sales fell one per cent.

Figures published by Incomes Data Services show that pay deals in the three months to July dropped 0.1 per cent to stand at 3.1 per cent.

The Scottish Executive publishes figures on recorded crime and domestic abuse in 2005/06; Scottish Qualifications Authority examination results in Scottish schools in 2005/06; cancer incidence data for 2002 and mortality figures for 2004; immunisation statistics for Q2; dental statistics; NHS Scotland workforce statistics; information on the care and dependency needs of older people; data on patients ready for discharge in NHS Scotland; prescribing statistics; selected data from the quality outcome framework 2005/06; and homelessness data.

The National Assembly for Wales publishes figures on farm incomes for 2003/04 and its response to the consultation on the statistics programme for 2005/06 to 2007/08.

The Office for National Statistics publishes the index of production for July, and weekly deaths registered in England and Wales.

The European Central Bank publishes the consolidated financial statement of the eurosystem.

Eurostat publishes retail trade figures for June and July.

Living like an animal

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

No longer the only one

I gained the fame of being the only one in the village way back when someone did a Google search. However, the good lady was looking for a Blogger not "only one in the village" Daffyd. However, I do now think that there is a Daffyd in Duns. I've seen him twice. He is short-ish and seems to scuttle about quite quickly. On both occasions I have seen him he has been wearing very tight short shorts. I have always been in the car when I've seen him so have not been able to come out with the greeting "How bona to vada your dolly old eek again"
Might be well to keep out of his way for a bit. I've re-installed Mozilla FireFox and am using that. It gave me considerable aggro before but it is just so good that I wanted to give it another chance. If it does go tits up, I'll be in no mood to talk palome to Daffyds.

Sir Digby Jones leads a delegation of UK business leaders to China and, later this week, India. The CBI director general said: "There has been much legitimate talk about the competitive threat posed to the developed world by the soaring growth of industries in China and India. Of course they are a challenge, but they also represent a huge opportunity. The number of senior business leaders heading East for these vital summits proves that the UK is facing up, head-on, to the challenge of China and India."

Yes - I suppose so. Given that economic opinion includes comments that we no longer manufacture very much but mainly provide services, it is difficult to see how. Our 'trick' of gaining contracts which we then out-source to areas of cheap labour and un-protected employment such as Indian call-centres will not work in opposition to Chinese labour which is even cheaper and more exploitive. Again, that friend of Brazilians, Mandelson has not covered himself in glory in his dealings with China relating to bras and other finished textiles. He can afford to get his undies from Victoria's Secret or La Perla whilst those who thong M & S will have to dig deeper.
PS - Aged gentlemen should be aware that the last four links are dangerous on the grounds that fibrilliation can harm one. Any othet -ation should also be avoided.

News for Flopsy etc.

Of course, the best way to commit bunny suicide is to pop up in front of Ms. Beaky, but, if you are looking for alternatives, these do exist.

Eccky thump

So - perhaps one does not learn by experience.
I have been in some places where the temperature gets quite high. I've seen eggs fried on the pavement and I have sat in some very hot rooms and Turkish Baths. Little Japanese girls have pushed me under bath water that would cook chopped liver.
But - today has been too hot for me. Except for the bit where I sat with my legs in river water up to my knees. Hold that thought.

Er - where did Saturday go?

I just didn't stop all day. Buzzi Buzzi Buzzi.