Right carry on

My 'cures all pain God knows how' bracelet had lost most of it's magnetism. Whilst it still worked, it was leaving a bright green stain around my wrist so one objective at the Scots Fair was to find a replacement. There seemed to be two places selling them. I didn't like any of the ones at the first place so had to settle for the only alternative. The guy at the stall was a bit flamboyant in the style of his shirt and hair but I thought nothing of it until he was showing me exactly how the dinkie little real brass pin thingy went into the very well designed hole in the strap. He was making a bit too much out of helping me choose a 'tasteful' design for the bracelet. I decided to buy one of those on show. This led to much flustered looking for pen and sales book. Then there was the production of the instructions with salient points being drawn to my attention. I was warned to start off wearing it for no more than three hours, to be aware it might cause tingling in my fingers or a mild headache and that I would feel thirsty the first time I wore it. This was when the devil stirred within me. I put my hand on his wrist and asked in a concerned voice, "It won't make my willy go funny will it?". 'Ooh no - nothing like that. No. No' Perfect match of Frankie Howard and our dear old Ken. Sorry now that Sandy or Julian was not there to share the moment.
I think that Sandy and Julian from Around the Horne show did much to open up the gay world. Their very much over the top performances showed people another side of that inclination that confused many men. Certainly, it was a way of dealing with homesexuality that avoided the risk of a right smack in the mourf and brought them into the general community. I have no concerns about outright gay - and lesbian - people. It is the ones who remain closeted that I distrust. Though maybe Peter Tatchell goes a bit too far with his style of outing, I can see where he comes from. I once had to question a guy who had gay issues. This was in Egypt where we wore shorts - see picture at left. Whilst I was writing his statement, he was stroking my knee. Shame really, I think it was my including this in my evidence that led to him getting a relatively heavy sentence.
Oh yes - back to the new wristband. It works perfectly. Science or subtle suggestion? Don't know and don't care. I had a 'dead' tip on my little finger which is now back to normal. No - it did not (so far) make my willie go funny either.

We don't need no thought control

I can see absolutely no point in B Liar's new attempt to run his little world. All the while that carrying them is optional, no one will bother to produce them if asked. All the fancy bio-metrics will be to no avail if PC Heartbreak wants to check your card in the middle of truly rural England. Don't get involved in protesting very often but this deserves to die a death.

A loving father - many many times over

This is a story that did not seem to make our papers. Given their ability to generate 'news' from any sort of trivia, I would have thought they would have been covering this like flies on a cow-pat. Strange but it was only in Tennesse and, maybe, Georgia that I got the feeling that there were families living somewhere like this. We had friends in Kentucky who used to suggest we not go to somewhere because it was 'tacky' but what they meant it was weird.

Male bonding

You just have to go look at this.
I'm sure it would have helped me remember a good day with my father - maybe this explains why I cannot?

Beginning of the beginning of the end

Well, one day nearer the demise of this Make Poverty History hysteria that is flooding our media. We seem to have survived one Edinburgh march without sheep being seperated from goats and The End Of The World As We Know It. Doubtless there will be much news attention to the great unwashed as they set up their wickies and prance about. It seems their intention is to draw people's attention to the poverty. OK - thank you; you can all bugger off now. I've got the picture. I'm sure even the eight of the G will have gathered something of the problem and the message. They have only been debating it for some five years. Incidentally, why just those eight? Other than Japan, not a single Asian, Latin American or African is a member of the team. Where is China? Where is India? Also, if it is the hangover from colonial days that is to blame - how did Ethiopia get into the caccky? I was there some 45 years ago and Addis Ababa was full of do-goody NGOs and UN bodies. It was the TV report from there that set-off the last fund raiser.
I caught only a bit of the G8 concert from London. It did not strike me as being as good as the last concert. Oh yes - one other question. If increases in aid were any solution, what came of the monies generated in that first concert. Were we transferring funds from rich people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries? The racial-opportunistic crowd got into act by wanting to know why - if the cause was African, why were there not more African musicians? I understand they were given a bone in some venue outside London. On their reasoning, if we had something to raise awareness of HIV, only Jimmy Somerville and Holly Johnson would be automatic choices.

Perth

Off today to the Scottish Game Fair at Scone Castle inPerth. The bossy navigator lady got us there with no problems. It's the third year we have been there so I know the way really but she showed us another route.
I like Perth. It is beautifully situated with a river and rolling hills around. We had good weather - a bit cloudy but that kept the worst of the heat away and we got the full benefit of a good breeze. The stands were up to their usual standards and seemed to be doing good business. One of the plusses for me is that almost everyone there seems to have a dog - or even dogs - with them and one gets to see some rather rare breeds. Plenty of chat whenever one stopped. It is not so 'truly rural' as the CLA Game Fair or the Scottish Show. The only immediate difference is that the tractor park and implements yards are much larger at the Jock Show with very many more animals. On the whole, I prefer the Scots Game Fair. The catering is dire with much attention to burgers - even though they are venison, wild boar or Aberdeen Angus they are still burgers. The small dog got quite freaked out as she is no longer used to seeing so many people and other dogs. I sat down on a bench to wait for Norma and the silly dog jumped up on my lap - much to the amusement of the owners of real dogs. Even finding one Picasso in the vast car park was easy as we had a little yellow duck on the aerial which meant we could see our vehicle from a long way away.

See what I mean

Just have a look at this

Another BigJohn

Nice to find another elderly blogger with something of an attitude that I can recognise. Only problem seems to have been his RAF association though.

Sombre thoughts

My mind seems very solemn today - don't know why but I'm thinking of blokes who died before their time. Even found the piece of poetry that I used to know off heart

No Man's Land (Green Fields of France) - Eric Bogle

Well, how'd you do, Private Willie McBride,
D'you mind if I sit down down here by your graveside?I'll rest for awhile in the warm summer sun,
Been walking all day, Lord, and I'm nearly done.
I see by your gravestone you were only nineteen
When you joined the glorious fallen in 1916,
I hope you died quick and I hope you died "clean,"
Or, Willie McBride, was it slow and obscene?
CHORUS:Did they beat the drum slowly, did they sound the fife lowly?
Did the rifles fire o'er ye as they lowered ye down?
Did the bugles sing "The Last Post" in chorus? Did the pipes play the "Floors O' The Forest"?
And did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind
In some faithful heart is your memory enshrined?
And, though you died back in 1916,
To that loyal heart are you forever nineteen?
Or are you a stranger, without even a name,
Forever enshrined behind some glass pane,
In an old photograph, torn and tattered and stained,
And fading to yellow in a brown leather frame?
Well, the sun's shining down on these green fields of France;
The warm wind blows gently, the red poppies dance.
The trenches have vanished long under the plow;
No gas and no barbed wire, no guns firing now.
But here in this graveyard it's still No Man's Land;
The countless white crosses in mute witness stand
To man's blind indifference to his fellow man.
And a whole generation who were butchered and damned.
And I can't help but wonder now, Willie McBride,
Do all those who lie here know why they died?
Did you really believe them when they told you "the cause?"
Did you really believe that this war would end wars?
Well the suffering, the sorrow, the glory, the shame,
The killing, the dying, it was all done in vain,
For Willie McBride, it's all happened again,
And again, and again, and again, and again.
Our business in the field of fight,
Is not to question,
but to prove our might.
I firmly believe that the old wars were the best. The bosses who stirred things up and decided to send men into battle led their forces from the front. Now, they skulk at home with mealy-mouthed semi-excuses for the decisions they took that have caused grief and suffering for so many. And, let's not forget, many innocent human beings have died as a by-product of the politicians' wrong-headedness. The soldier realises it is part of his contract to die - that does not make it any better when they do but surely the employers' side of the contract is to show due care?

Relationships

My designer (hope that does not sound too pretentious) comments today on a number of coincidences amongst people with whom she has been in cyber-contact. This reminds me of study that claims we all know one another through a ring of - I think - seven people. I know A, A knows B, B knows C and so on until we get to the seventh person. Obviously, any layman testing of this is bound to be inconclusive for we cannot identify every seventh person and then check backwards. I chose some people in the news and found that I could get to most of them in the seven steps. Some of this was a bit tenous where I had to resort to having met the Queen or Mother Therasa. I'd like to get some reference to the scientific explanation of this but Google and I are not conversing today. I did find this which is somewhat along the same lines although it seems to be based upon actual friendships rather than mere contact.
Some concern on the distaff front chez Wood at this mornings weather. We are due to go see Scots Game Fair at Scone Palace in Perth tomorrow but SWMBO thinks we will have to forego if weather is bad. No mention as to her plans for her Saturday away-day if dodgy weather flows over to then. No problems for pointynose and me - I have plenty of wet kit left from tramping hills and she does not care about weather. She is just reluctant to take the first few steps in rain but once out she carries on as usual.
Seems that the saga of people in Wales originating from Russia is solved. The people who run my counter made a mistook when they assigned one of the identities to Russia and it has run on from there. Good to know - I didn't want a load of spooks descending on me and blaming my computer for the cock-up in Iraq.

Wet wednesday

Can't remember where I got this so cannot give a credit.
The spell of sunshine broke today. We had a good start and then it went all wrong. Still, doubtless the farmers will be happy.
I wrote last week about getting a contact report from someone in Russia. I was sufficiently interested to follow it up when it came up again today. The quoted weblog owner writes from Wales and denied knowledge of Russia. I've set The Bond Girls onto it just to see where we get.
Passport is back OK so that is another tick in the Get To Germany planning.
Pointynose is well aware that moles sometimes come to the surface and bimble about. We were doing the walk at the picnic area when she suddenly came alive and started tracking a smell of some sort. She went round into a spiral. At the middle was small gentleman in velvet waistcoat. Sad to say, he didn't get underground quick enough.
Trying to get my lady navigator lost has led me onto some really small and isolated roads - little more than tracks. I got onto a road that I do not recall ever using before and noticed that the roadkill was hedgehogs. Whilst there is a Harrod's Foodhall of game on most roads, I have not seen Mrs Tiggywinkle figure in the stock. Don't know why it was but there were about six in some 300 yards.
Paddy goes for job interview. Recruiter does not want to offer hima job. Sets him a test with paper and pencil to graphically represent 99. Fergal licks pencil. Draws three little trees and colours them in black. Recruiter says what's that then. Paddy says that is the 99 you wanted. Explain says HR bloke. Well says Paddy, that is a dirty tree. Dirty tree and dirty tree and dirty tree makes 99. OK says recruiter, see if you can do it for 100. Paddy makes a small mark at the base of each of the three trees and puts the pencil down. Asked to explain he says that mark is left by a dog. Dirty tree and a turd and dirty tree and a turd and dirty tree and a turd is 100.
I'll get my coat!

Surely this cannot last?

Someone e-mailed me this with comment that not all enhancement is bad. This, of course, is little Katie Price a.k.a. Jordon. In pure monetary terms,she has done very well for herself and had little to start with. This money has come from the Great Unwashed of the British population. I have rather more time for her than the other Paxo-ed girls who strut their stuff.
The 'Cannot Last' of the title comes from the weather. It has been just perfect for the last few days. Everyone seems so much better tempered when the sun shines.
Slightly sicko jokes don't take long to surface do they? One I heard today was ref Whiteley of Count Down who died of pneumonia. Does he get a bonus for using all nine letters?

Have to see this!

I thought I was finished for the day but I was just browsing through the RSS feeds I have set up and came across this.
What a wonderful idea! Sort of asset control mechanism. Ain't technology wonderful.

Poverty

We will all have seen the original TV report that started Live Aid. Since then there have been many further reports that show just what being abjectly poor can mean. I suppose my own experience of this was the Star of the Sea orphanage in Korea. The durability of kids there was amazing. The place relied on charity - in my case, rations and basic comforts cadged, scrounged, bartered and sometimes just plain stolen. Maybe it is because of this that the sight of kids starving is just about the worst for me. These kids in the picture above are living on rubbish thrown out by others who have a much better life style just a few miles away. It does not require the sort of suffering seen country-wide in Dafur or the tsunami for poverty to exist - it can live cheek by jowl almost anywhere. What is really needed is not such money as filters down through the corruption filters but just for someone to care and decide that this is not acceptable.

How's my image looking?

I've read a couple of posts about the new Blogger image up-load not working and valuable works of art getting lost in the miasma of the internet. Well, there cannot be a more virtous Web-virgin than me, so I suppose I should be happy that it seems to work for me. I get the impression that the Picasa2 and Hello route had stopped doing the business and that was correct so far as I am concerned - who know why? So, who cares now we have this - and we didn't even have to upgrade to a paid service to get it!

What a world!

The way in which people can treat animals never fails to amaze me and I already have a very biased view of human nature. I see someone has just treated a hamster to first class travel. We recently had the story of the woman who had over one hundred dogs in a ordinary house and there was the rehoming exhibition of some 200 animals from another hell hole. It seems that the latter two cases involved some poor confused souls. OK – but just how many houses are there in this country that do not get visited by someone or other who should have noticed what was going on and ending it?
But then, given the back-up publicity to the debt relief initiatives, we seem to be unable even to guarantee human beings a proper life. Braw Bonny Brown claims that the debt is cancelled and that is good says he. As I understand it, there are a number of actions that the indebted countries must fulfil if they are to qualify. So, who will help them with that – the planning and the implementation will be quite complex.
The financial and management skills available in some African countries have not been shining examples in what we have seen so far. Will the cancellation of past debts allow the ex-borrowers to come back for more? Most African leaders are proud people who would resent overt outside supervision so what will be done to ensure that past corruption does not bite into fresh funds? The question of debt relief has been kicking around for some while and I do not think it is over yet.

I know the feeling

Really too warm to spend time in front of a hot screen.

Are they remote controlled?

My normal reaction to ladies who have had enhancement carried out is to wonder why? I can quite understand that it is their body and they may do with it as they will. Just what is it that causes them to think that anything so - um - overblown makes them attractive? Here, I would be concerned about the obvious strain on her shoulders. The practicalities of such a body must be limited. One of my most early girlfriends was very well built and it was almost impossible to touch anywhere above her knees without coming into contact with her chest. Way back then, this qualified for a hearty thump and I had a truly Mohammed Ali-type ability to ride with the punch. I think this lady looks deformed - much that my opinion would bother her!
Since my own re-modeling, the addition of a counter has been eye-opening (to continue a theme). I now have the ability to see from where people have connected. Unless something is wrong, I see that I have been connected to someone from Turkeistan. This conjures up all sorts of images. I'm sure it is some sort of adverse propoganda but I see that part of the world as rather grim and industrial or very wild and barren country. The thought that something here caused someone from there to connect with the sort of drivel I manage, is fearsome. Good luck to you whomsoever you may be!

Practically funny

A young boy went up to his father and asked him "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"The father thought for a moment, then answered "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with brad pitt for a million dollars then ask your brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you have learned."So the boy went to his mother and asked "Would you sleep with RobertRedford for a million dollars?" the mother replied, "Of course I would! I wouldn't pass up on an opportunity like that!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied "Oh my god! I would just love to do that! you would be nuts to pass up that chance!" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?" "Of Course!" The brother replied. "Do you know how much stuff a million dollars could buy?" The boy pondered for a few days then went back to his dad. His father asked him "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied "Yes sir. Potentially we are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we are living with two slu*s and a p0of."

A mad mad mad world

Today, I finished reading what might laughingly be called the ‘news’ in my daily Torygraph but was feeling too idle to get up and be-doing something or other. My eye was caught by a phrase on the Kindred Spirits section of the page. This is a lonely hearts-type thing. Women looking for men, men looking for women and, shock horror, even men looking for men. There is a further section headed Friendship which I assume is for those of the Sapphic persuasion. I’ve never paid any attention to these items before – and don’t suppose I will ever again – but they paint colourful images on my mind which, I freely admit, is some way from driven snow.

Thus, we get things like “Are you a vivacious lady of any race who enjoys wearing strappy high heels?” So, much not doubt what is wanted there then and I don’t suppose that it would be a lasting relationship. Once you have seen one strappy high heel, you’ve seen them all surely. Another caught my eye thus “Rough diamond. 60, gsoh, adaptable, caring n/s seeks friendly tactile older female for home life in SE Sussex” This translates to me as an irritable old sod looking for a housekeeper who will occasionally lay hands upon him. He has low aspirations as suggested by his being ‘adaptable’

There seems to be a pronounced desire amongst the lonely females for males who are ‘tactile’ or who enjoy ‘cuddles’. There are some where they want someone 65+ and also has to be athletic. That’s him into an early grave from over-indulgence then. Some seek to attract attention by painful honesty such as “Grumpy old woman, still working, tall, grey-blonde, drop-dead and wrinkly wltm tallish grumpy funny old man for walking, picnics, fine dining and fun” What happens when the grumpy coincides with a one in four incline, boggy track in a force nine downpour where the picnic basket has been left in the car? No fun or fine dining there then?

I’ll not go too far into the men on men styles – there might be something there that turns my homophobic into homoerotic. I cannot but help noticing a number of stated preferences that the partner sought be military, ex-military, Royal Navy. That guy is missing a trick – what he really needs is a Royal Marine. They are very tactile, athletic, like cuddles and would have no problems with a grumpy attitude.