Well written? Phone 0800.....

I have always appreciated the grace and dignity of written English. The ability to express oneself is much to be valued. My years in the Army were under the cosh of officialdom where there was plenty of form but little style. This is not to say that the services encourage illiteracy; their staff writing has very serious style directives but is drawn to convey intentions and to report detailed fact rather than wander lonely as a cloud.
This explains why I enjoyed something in today’s Times Register amongst the obituaries. One of these concerned a Romany man who became a leader of the organised Gypsies. (It’s OK – the p.c. brigade cannot touch me - I used a capital G).
He was described as having an ‘impressive physical presence, softened by a touch of the dandy that emphasised his Romany heritage’. Having grown up in Essex where Gypsies were known for the purity of their breeding, I can see him before me. So well, almost, that I could have forecast the next comment. “S***h left his wife for a male friend, which led to some tactless criticism amongst traveller families in southeast England whose social tolerance lagged behind those of mainstream society”
There, is that not wonderful?

Common sense really

A good outlook

Having let you into the medical secrets of the day, can I just cheer you up with this forecast?

Have a nice day!

As today is Friday, I intend to have a theme for today’s blogging.

As an aged oxygen-thief and coffin-dodger, thoughts of health occupy most of my sentient hours. How I might improve it, is it worth the bother, where will it all end up.

So, some good and some bad. Let us start with the bad.

We have heard much about a bird flu epidemic and how it would be wise to remain in peak condition lest we start to develop feathers and wings. One of the things was a mass effort, all out, intensive, cost no object campaign to produce zillions of injections of tamiflu for mass distribution to all. OK – now read this little crumb of comfort.

U.S. probes deaths of children who took Tamiflu

WASHINGTON(Reuters) - U.S. regulators are studying the deaths of 12 children in Japan who took Roche AG's flu-fighting drug Tamiflu, officials said on Thursday, but they said it was difficult to tell whether the drug played a role in any of the cases.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration said it was "concerning" that 32 psychiatric events, such as hallucinations and abnormal behavior, also had been reported in children who took Tamiflu, which is in high demand because it is considered to be one of the best defenses against avian flu in people.

So – whaderugonnado? I suspect there is little one can do. The government is certainly not going to waste all the drug they spent all that money on are they? It will be renamed. We will be told it is better than tamiflu. Get it down your neck.

OK – let’s balance that with something that might, loosely be termed as good. There is a pun in there that you should detect as you read on.

Daily dose of good bacteria cuts sick leave

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Workers who took a daily dose of beneficial bacteria, also known as probiotics, were much less likely to call in sick than their colleagues given a placebo, a new study from Sweden shows.

Probiotics are contained in yogurt and other fermented foods. They've been shown to have a number of positive health effects, helping, for example, to prevent gastrointestinal ills and to boost immune system function.

So, all one needs to do is spend idiotic amounts of

money on those stupid little bottles. From my experience, the people who had the real McCoy did not call in sick purely because they were closeted in the lavatory whilst foul smelling liquid flowed out of just about every orifice designed for one way traffic. The results of the battle between the ‘good’ bacteria and the ‘bad’ bacteria were such as those last seen on the Somme in World War One. Apparently, the rationale is that the ‘baddies’ are very powerful once ensconced in the gut and massive over-prescription of ‘goodies’ is needed to ensure they do not storm the stomach as some sort of Forlorn Hope.

Statins may delay effects of Alzheimer's -study

LONDON (Reuters) - Cholesterol-lowering drugs may help to delay the progression of Alzheimer's disease, the leading cause of dementia in the elderly, French scientists said on Thursday.

In a three-year study involving 342 Alzheimer's patients, they found that the illness did not develop as quickly in sufferers with high cholesterol levels who were given statins as in patients not taking the drugs.

Professor Florence Pasquier, of the University Hospital in Lille, France, said the drugs "may slow cognitive decline in Alzheimer's disease and have a neuroprotective effect."

Nearly 130 patients in the study had high cholesterol levels. About half were given statins while the remainder did not receive any treatment.

So – I might get to the final curtain with a clear idea of what is to happen to me and exactly how it will come about. Thanks God – I was kind of hoping I’d miss out on that degree of awareness.

Now, this final one is really the bees knees. These guys don’t care about bird flu, tamiflu, Delhi belly or Who the fcuk am I? I think it is a worthwhile enterprise. My only concern is that they might not let me nominate those who should be drafted into the movement with a view to cleaning up the gene pool.

VHEMT (pronounced vehement) is a movement not an organization. It's a movement advanced by people who care about life on planet Earth. We're not just a bunch of misanthropes and anti-social, Malthusian misfits, taking morbid delight whenever disaster strikes humans. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Voluntary human extinction is the humanitarian alternative to human disasters.

We don't carry on about how the human race has shown itself to be a greedy, amoral parasite on the once-healthy face of this planet. That type of negativity offers no solution to the inexorable horrors which human activity is causing.

Rather, The Movement presents an encouraging alternative to the callous exploitation and wholesale destruction of the Earth's ecology.

As VHEMT Volunteers know, the hopeful alternative to the extinction of millions of species of plants and animals is the voluntary extinction of one species: Homo sapiens... us.

Way back when...

Our local paper republishes items from the archives.

This comes from fifty years ago:

A former rector of Berwickshire High School, Doctor D. S. I**** is receiving protests from parents against their boys taking part in the school swimming classes in the nude. The swimming master says it is the most hygienic way because wool from the costumes clogs up the pool filters.

And this is from a hundred years back:

Residents of our cities are familiar with the imposing vehicles reserved for the accommodation of transgressors of the law. In country districts a much more primitive means of transit is adopted. The good town of Coldstream boasts a humble two-wheeler drawn by a quadruped that may have been a frolicsome young colt something like twenty years ago. In its infrequent runs to Duns, this gaunt steed is driven by the policeman who has charge of the prisoner. But though the distance between the two places is ten miles and the intervening country is very sparsely populated, efforts of escape are seldom, if ever, made.

What a lovely picture this paints from 1905. The leisured style of writing, the words chosen seem so very dated in what is really not much more than my lifetime. As for the nude swimming! I cannot imagine that this was just fifty years back. All costumes were wool – no Speedo skin-tights then. I can remember the woollen shorts. They looked so very smart until getting wet when they drooped down like rhino skin. No matter where purchased, they all looked like they had been knitted by your mum. I doubt if the matter would be so easily disposed of today when one needs almost a licence from Interpol and certificate of approval from the World Health Organisation to come within 100 yards of a fully clothed juvenile. When I concentrate, I can remember that by 1955 I was quite an exponent of mixed bathing and skinny dipping at midnight. I doubt if we would have thought of the excuse about clogging filters had we been challenged.

Underpants and soldiers - saucy eh?

I see that David Davis’ wife has revealed that after 30 something years, the passion has gone out of her marriage. She says he still likes a cuddle though.
The fop Camerooon claims that he protects some of his vegetables by planting garlic around them. Just last week we were given the low-down on their preferences in the underwear department. Funny that I know this much – more than I care for – about them but find myself almost totally ignorant of what they are claiming to do for us when one or other of them gets eligible for a Leader of the Opposition pension. Not that it matters who will lead. Neither will have the opportunity to decide what the country does. In a way, I hope it is not Davies who wins. The thought of PM questions every week involving a statement about how he is the child of a single parent and grew up on a council estate is quite daunting.
The circles in which I move are getting quite het-up on the question of politically motivated courts-martial involving soldiers in Iraq. A senior officer has been warned for trial. Opinion seems to be divided between this being a serious case of political correctness where the Guardian-reading community are doing a mea-culpa over the war or just another example of T Bliar again selling the troops down the river in some holier-than-thou act of penitence. To the ordinary Tommy-in-the-trench it is no more than he expects after seeing the lack of support they feel exists. This time though, it is serious. The officers feel wronged. I think the government has nailed its colours to the mast by claiming that the decision to prosecute comes from a totally independent body free of all political influence. Yeah – watch out for effects of blue moon tonight. Some means will need to be found to escape this sackgasse which is leading to no good way out.

MRSA kills

There was a radio item this morning about a guy who claims that MRSA is far more widespread than has been admitted by the NHS. He sells MRSA cleaning kits and the general opinion of experts is that he is a con merchant.
Well John, that was interesting – not. Why bother us with the news and then deflate it by saying it was rubbish?
There was much talk about MRSA and cleaning standards. That struck a chord going back to some while ago when I was sitting around in a ward as a visitor. Yes – there was a cleaner operating in the ward. Yes – we had all treated our hands with some spray thing. However, the cleaning method was poorly devised or supervised. The operative had a mop which she fumbled around on the floor. The water used to rinse the mop was dirty. The mop left dirty or greasy smears on the lino. Items such as side cupboards, tables and desks were not moved and the mop was just run along the outline. There was no apparent cleaning of anything between the floor level and flat surfaces such as desktops. The moulded skirting board was not cleaned. There was no sign of any disinfectant.
I cannot understand the debate about proper cleaning. Even if the ward I saw had received attention to the deficiencies, I still would not regard it as ‘proper’ cleaning. I started mentally to draw up a specification for a cleaning contractor and it was quickly apparent we were really looking at a decontamination operation. After all, if it were possible to control MRSA with a Jiffy cloth and Mr Muscle, what is the problem? Even with a decent specification, there could be no guarantee that the standards were maintained by operatives. They would need special training and constant supervision. The Health & Safety people would get involved in protection for cleaners and would doubtless call for the wards to be emptied whilst the work was in progress.
Given the serious complications – not least death – that MRSA brings, it is surprising that the risk has not been better handled. Maybe there is a connection between the cost to achieve the proper standards and the government’s half-hearted response to the threat?

It was the big kids made me do it

I read (Daily Mail mainly) that someone ‘in government’ has suggested that the age of criminal responsibility be set at 16 years of age. It is currently 10 years and attempts are being made to raise it to 12. Just to set things in perspective, this means that the killers of Jamie Bulger would have escaped trial and punishment. In addition to the free-under-16 idea, there is mention that the majority of young offenders come from broken homes.
Home Office research this year showed that one in four boys between 10 and 17 are 'serious or prolific' offenders - a figure that suggests there are half a million boys engaged in burglary, robbery, drug dealing and other serious offences. The report said that a presumption that children are incapable of understanding right from wrong should run until the age of 16. "This would allow for the gradual and highly variable process of moral development in children," it said.
There should be 'normal immunity from prosecution' until 16. Instead, offenders should be dealt with through "family conferencing, restorative justice and youth offender panels".
Family conferencing means talking to an offender with his family; restorative justice involves the offender apologising to and making amends to the victim; and youth offender panels handle probation and rehabilitation schemes. Of course, one first has to get the little scrote to recognise and admit that he was even responsible for what happened. If he denies it, he cannot be put on trial to see if he is a wrongdoer.
Well now – isn’t that all very nice. Where is the ‘man’ who said they would be tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime? Some little sewer rate will get someone older to read the legislation to him and will be away as the Al Capone of the high-rise world. The police will encourage crime reports to reflect that the offender was a small wee bstard thus allowing them to lose interest as not much more than an interview with hyper-activity sticky drinks and Wagon Wheels will result.
I hold to the theory that some people are just evil. They are born evil and will die evil. Nothing that happens in between will cure them or deter or divert them from their wickedness. These Omen-kids will not be detected until they are sufficiently developed mentally and physically to be a real threat to us all. The idea that under-16s lack the capability to understand right from wrong is clearly fatuous. If need be, teach them by showing them what happens when they put their hand in the fire. Modern parents withdraw from many of the things they should teach their kids and this proposal will only encourage them more in this laziness.  

Legit.

Finally gave in and got myself an ID card.

Remember them

Out and about today, we saw numerous gatherings – large and small – for the Remembrance Day ceremonies. Duns had a large turn-out with the pipe band leading a parade of cadets, guides, brownies, cubs and Scouts and a goodly sprinkling of the Old & Bold. I think it is an important thing to keep going. Not just for those who will have sad memories but also for the young. Inevitably, the significance of the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month will die out. The wars of today are not the human mincing machines of yesteryear – never again, thank goodness, will the country have to deal with 15,000 lost before breakfast. Any human death is a disaster but there is not the same national impact even when we may lose six in one incident. So few today know what went on in The Great Wars. Many of those who bother to listen or find out will have the modern day attitude – “Why did they fight? I’d have just refused to go”. There are reports that as battalions were marching towards the trenches, they passed engineers digging vast pits. They asked what these were for and were told they were for the dead from the forthcoming battle. Just imagine your caring Sun reporting that sort of thing today!
I’m quite intrigued about the fuss over ex-Ambassador Meyers and his memoirs. It seems a little bit difficult to work out exactly what it is that has roused the politicians ire. He has revealed the way that ministers and civil servants relate to each other. Is anyone so amazed that they sometimes met under intimate circumstances? Is some important matter of state to wait whilst John Major adjusts his braces? The disclosures of this sort help to de-mystify politics. Background detail that turns the writing into something better than dull as ditchwater reiteration of facts.
Maybe it is his frank but unflattering remarks about the abilities or otherwise of politicians. So, are there many that think Prescott has the vocabulary and delivery of Noel Coward? Jack Straw was a blustering rabble-raiser as a student activist – what may have caused him to become a latter day Descartes? B Liar – of whom anything unflattering is believable.
My end-of-exam verdict is connected with Meyers status – Civil Servant. That bugbear of lower middle classes who get some authority – pas devant les servants? Don’t they know their place? We are the Masters.
Luckily for me, it is all academic. My attitude is that all politicians are neer-do-wells. It goes with the job. Falsehood, blustering, plotting and duplicity are required ‘talents’ in the murky world in which they crawl.

There is always MasterCard

Domestic bliss

This comes from a serving police officer. I came across it whilst looking into the problems of Ross Kemp and his live-in Editor. Kemp is the fat guy that has (Iunderstand but am not a viewer), just returned to Eastenders and was the sergeant in some risible thing that claimed to be something like the SAS. I like 'Modern Solution' as it shows the sort of attitude of many of my old Met police associates.

Modern Solution

It seems that just about everyone has had a go at trying to solve the problem.

All the professionals have had their input and even with the best efforts of our Positive Arrest policy makers, a quarter of the violent crime in the Metropolis is domestic related. Maybe it’s time I had a go? I know I’m not the best qualified to do this. Without a degree in something very relevant and a large government budget I don’t expect you to pay any attention to me. But, I reckon I can completely eliminate the problem with a simple 3 step programme.

If you have felt the need to call us to play referee in your life because you haven’t grown up sufficiently to sort your problems out for yourselves and without the need for crossed words, then you may want to follow this simple plan:-

Brian’s Guide To Domestic Bliss©

Step 1:- Seek Employment.

Being ‘on the sick’ doesn’t count, nor does Community Service. I appreciate that this may come as a bit of a shock. Having spent a lifetime living off my taxes it can be a difficult transition to make. If you are both gainfully employed then the time you spend together will be minimised. So much so that you are unlikely to want us to pop round and ruin your precious moments together. Until you have a real job, you’ll have to live with your mum in your old room complete with football posters and lingerie catalogues.

Step 2:- Stop Drinking.

It is very rare for me to turn up to practice what the policy makers are preaching and finding that both parties are sober. In fact, more often than not, both have been on the partner beating juice. By all means you can drink, but you aren’t permitted to be under the influence when in the presence of your loved one. Try herbal tea instead, it can be very relaxing.

Step 3:- Engage In A Same-Sex Relationship.

Now, I understand that this might not have been the first thought on your mind once you’ve got a job and are relatively sober. But, bear with me, this is the crucial bit. People have made a lot of money out of telling us that men and women are from different planets. They meant you when they were saying this. It’s clear you have a bit of problem with the opposite sex, so it only follows that you should consider a same-sex relationship. Right?

I’m aware that there are issues surrounding the under-reporting of same-sex domestics, and that when we do get called they are ‘real’ ones. Little spats and arguments over the TV remote tend not to warrant a call to us. We only get involved when sharp implements have been used by both sides.

Of the many, many hundreds of domestics I’ve been to, a grand total of three have been between partners of the same sex. All of them were drunk and bleeding profusely.

If only they had called sooner.

We could have solved things over a cup of Camomile.

Silly questions

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't fill in?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

If you get into a taxi cab, and ask the driver to drive backwards to your destination, will the cab driver owe you money?

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn?

If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?

Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers?

Is "tired old cliché" one?

Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

Is a halfback more valuable than a quarterback?

Is a sleeping bull a bull-dozer?

Is a small pig called a hamlet?

Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine?

Is drilling for oil boring?

Is duck tape made out of ducks?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?

Is the nose the scenter of the face?

Is this bullshit or fertilizer?

Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?

Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed? --Victoria Wood

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell?

The Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get?

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?

What are imitation rhinestones?

What do batteries run on?

What do chickens think we taste like?

What do penguins wear for play clothes?

What do people in China call their good plates?

What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

What do they call a French kiss in France?

What do they call coffee breaks at the Lipton Tea Company?

What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?

What do you call a male ladybug?

What do you call male ballerinas?

What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

What happened to the first 6 UP's?

What happens if you go on a survival course - and you don't pass?

What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

What happens when none of your bees wax?

What happens when you swallow your pride?

What if hell really did freeze over? What would we be using instead?

What if someone died in the living room?

What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

What is "Soft Liquor"?

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

What is a refried bean? Why do they have to fry it twice?

What is shaved ice? Did it have hair on it before it was shaved?

What is the diameter of a square?

What is the speed of dark?

What kind of fruit is in Juicy Fruit gum?

What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What's the synonym for thesaurus?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?

When day breaks who fixes it?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

When night falls who picks it up?

When people lose weight, where does it go?

When something fades in the sunlight, where did the colors go?

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?

When we say our mind wanders - where does it go?

When you put a sheet over your head for Halloween, are you a ghost or a mattress?

Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath?

Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?

Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary?

Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?

Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?

Where does the white go when the snow melts?

Where does your lap go when you stand up?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Where is Old Zealand?

Which is the other side of the street?

Who killed the Dead Sea?

Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Why are all blackboards called that when some of them are green?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why are highways build so close to the ground?

Why are raisins called raisins if they are only dried grapes? Why not just call them dried grapes?

Why are some gay people so unhappy?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?

Why are violets blue and not violet?

Why are you expected to slow down in a speed zone?

Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders?

Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free?

Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"?

Why can't we tickle ourselves?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why did the pot call the kettle black?

Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn't the company just hire taller dancers?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why do flamingos stand on only one leg?

Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on?

Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed? Do they feel perhaps they'll need an alibi?

Why do people go to the unemployment office to find a job?

Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?

Why do people tell you when they are speechless?

Why do pigs have curly tails?

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot?

A Senior Moment

Forgetfulness

The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel
which suddenly becomes one you have never read,
never even heard of,

as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain,
to a little fishing village where there are no phones.

Long ago you kissed the names of the nine Muses goodbye
and watched the quadratic equation pack its bag,
and even now as you memorize the order of the planets,

something else is slipping away, a state flower perhaps,
the address of an uncle, the capital of Paraguay.

Whatever it is you are struggling to remember,
it is not poised on the tip of your tongue,
not even lurking in some obscure corner of your spleen.

It has floated away down a dark mythological river
whose name begins with an L as far as you can recall,
well on your own way to oblivion where you will join those
who have even forgotten how to swim and how to ride a bicycle.

No wonder you rise in the middle of the night
to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to know by heart.

Billy Collins

Cobblers

And I do not mean a man who repairs shoes!
Thanks God I know who loves me and that she will take no notice of this garbage.

Hot chien anyone

Anyone wondering what all the fuss is about as France embraces out of season BBQs, may find some valid information and opinion from my mate Fred.

Rest in Peace Unknown Warrior.

Today is the day that we remember the deaths of those who gave their lives in two World Wars and numerous military hostilities.
The British Legion red poppy is sold to raise funds for those who remain alive but suffer from events of such encounters. Less and less poppies are being sold. Volunteers who have been selling them were threatened. There is a movement to institute white poppies for those who have antipathy to military memorials. Generally, those who made the ultimate sacrifice are being forgotten and, more importantly, the reasons that they gave their lives are derided.
Whilst the wounds of war were still sore, a Army padre set in chain a series of events that were to lead to a unknown warrior being interred in Westminster Abbey alongside illustrious men in a ceremony that would normally only be afforded to the highest generals. The bodies of a number of men buried on the battlefields were gathered together and a random selection made. The utmost attention was paid to keeping this man’s identity secret. He was therefore able to serve as the single focus of remembrance and honour for the very large number of men who disappeared between 1914 and 1918. Bear in mind that battlefields of those times were not described as today such as “killing grounds” but were named as “mincing machines”. Men were buried where they fell. It was not always possible to mark the grave at that time.
The idea of having Unknown Warriors spread around the world.
There exists a movement in America to use the very latest DNA techniques to seek to identify their Warrior. It seems that this is possible. Doubtless, this proposal will come to us and be taken up by the Knowledge is All people. I cannot think of much that is more hideous. Apart from the fact that a grave will have to be violated, identifying the Warrior will destroy the whole reason for it’s existence. No more will I be able to honour a great-uncle who could well be the man chosen. Anyone who knows that a long-dead relative was killed, burial place unknown, will be deprived of a physical focus for their grief. In a modern world where we seem to go overboard on such matters – what I call the Lady Di Syndrome – this is just nonsense.

Yet more of a brainwave

Some while back there was a big re-organisation of the arrangements made by GPs to cover out of hours attendence. They were given the opportunity to elect themselves out of night and week-end duties. Perfectly right that they should decide between money and anti-social hours and a more relaxed home life. We here used to have a perfectly tuned night service that was already funded by the GPs and went under the name Borderdoc. I had to use it once and - as one who has little patience with medical matters - found it to be excellent. I am in favour of the idea that my normal GP has been properly rested and de-stressed when he sees me.
We here were put into the care of something called NHS 24 for our out of hours cover. This was some centrally administered call centre - surprisingly not out-sourced to the Indian sub-continent.
As time went on, it became apparent that we had jumped out of the tender arms of Borderdoc into the slavering jaws of a government agency. There were shortages of doctors, doctors who did not know where remote communities were, communication difficulties with local dialect. You name it - NHS 24 were cocking it up - I don't know about overall but certainly in the Scottish Borders. There were the usual bland responses - "It's new and needs time to settle down" which processed through blaming the IT resources to admitting "isolated" mistakes. Doctors were flown in from Europe rather like Saturday Girls at reputed cost of £600 per hour. New study groups are afoot to rectify what is now admitted as a rubbish response.
The foregoing just describes the work, annoyance and costs involved in this great Blue Sky, Out of The Box Thinking initiative.
So, today, Skippy Hewitt decides that she must ask GPs to put in more hours in the evenings and at week-ends. To make the medical services more efficient. So that people have better choice as to appointment arrangements to see a doctor. Little Fat Buddha, what on earth will this government come up with next in the Advancement of Rubbish Ideas?

Homophobia

This is a spoof site.
If this were not known at the outset, one would find the attitudes and comments perfectly in tune with the sort of garbage that comes from the caring community.

Did you say *%^"**?

If you have ever had a desire to see famous people being low down dirty and crude seeming, have a look at this clip from a Channel 4 advertising campaign. Apparently it was intended to run in cinemas but was black-balled.