Why bother

This is from someone who purports to support T Bliar on punishment and Laura Norder. If he attracts the support of morons such as this - can there ever be any hope of him changing his style?

Why Tony is right.

This is in response to Talk Politics's criticism of Tony Blair's respect speech.

I'm sorry mate, you are wrong and Tony is right.

A man found with 10,000 in cash late at night with no reasonable explanation DESERVES prosecution regardless of whether the police can actually PROVE it is the result of wrongdoing.

If I went out tonight and got blind drunk and caused a nuisance in the street and I was consequently fined 100 pounds, I would deserve it. I would prefer that rather than being prosecuted through the court system for a year (EVEN if I was eventually proved innocent). We are talking practicalities here, you are not living in the real world.

In theory you are spot on to say it's the bureaucracy of the criminal justice system that is the problem NOT the process, BUT you forget 'due process' necessarily involves a high level of bureaucracy, the two are interdependent.

It terms of low level punishment for low level crimes, it is BETTER to punish the innocent than to let the guilty go free.

Being innocent and getting a 100 pound fine is not the end of the world. Dishing out fast and proportionate punishment to the guilty benefits us all by lessening the chance of them progressing to worse crimes.

This is just not possible if you are going to give them the the full legal process which is necessarily expensive and time consuming.

I'm sorry but, principles and tradition mean nothing here. You are going to have to prove to me why, for instance, trial by jury is important in complicated fraud cases when they drastically increase the expense and reduce the success of trial completion let alone prosecution. Prove to me that 'trial by jury' is more accurate. There is a strong scientific case that people like Dawkins have made to show why the jury process is flawed.

Is it good for civil liberties that defence lawyers pick jurors of the basis of whether they are likely to acquit rather than whether they are likely to be fair?

I am not in favour of removing the choice to have trial by jury in serious cases and neither is this government but these questions have to be asked.

Caption Competition

Given that this blog seems to wend its way through the ether without drawing any comment, I feel safe in setting this competition.
No prizes - if there are any readers they will see just how perceptive you are.
Anyone caption this?

Bloggers' World

I suppose this guy is saying what I think here.

I’m stealing the idea from Acidman’s thoughts on blogging. This year I didn’t make one wish or resolution to keep. I could lose a few pounds, work out every once and a while and study a bit more but in reality, I’m happy with my life. I’ve quit smoking, hardly drink, have a beautiful wife who clearly loves me. It would be nicer to make more money and not have to go Iraq but my previous post shows, there are worse things in life then the small problems I have. People wig out over the small things in life then hide away from the big ones.

I’ve been blogging almost 2 years now, my fotopage has been around for 2 and a half, when I started, there were less then 30 milblogs out there, now there are well over a thousand. Milbloggers from every walk of life, different services from all over the world. What have I learned?

1) There was a time when I was writing to an audience but that started feeling like work. After a blogging for a while, you start to realize, blogging isn’t about your audience, it’s about loving to write and sharing your unique prospective on the world.

2) There are millions of bloggers out there and as Rob says, most of us are crap. Each time you look around the blogsphere has changed it’s shape. Myspace and xanga are causing some of the great changes bringing a younger generation of people who are cutting a new swath through cyberspace, which is going to be next? Yahoo 360? Their websites are running parallel to our older sites but like the red and blue, we rarely touch each other.

3) Bloggings tough, surf your way though the some links for a while, even the good bloggers fold, I’m happy with my almost two years and don’t plan on quitting in this life time.

4) Good reasons to blog? For a geek like me, it was a great tool for meeting people. My wife found me through the blog and I haven’t met an asshole blogger in person yet. When I was overseas, I had a voice, I knew there were people that cared about what happened to me, I wasn’t a number. When I say this blog made a world of difference in my life, I would not be lying.

5) It’s going to be hard to pick up new readership on your blog unless you have a vibrant, fresh blog and can keep an audience entertained, there’s too much information floating around the internet. But there are exceptions to this rule, ways to get a large readership? Break a good news story and the MSM picks it up, do a heinous crime and have a blog or have something interesting happen to you (go to war, have an earthquake, hurricane, forest fire hit where you’re at write about it).

6) Make sure you mean what you say when you talk bad about someone, remember every bad thing you say can and will be googled. So if there’s a chance you might meet that person in the future or work for them, don’t talk bad about them. (hint military folk, be careful about getting involved in politics and blogging about it, that asshat could be your boss next year)

7) Internet romances do work, marry a blogger. You can google his or her entire life. What kind of personal ad can give you that? Worked for me!

8) Don’t try changing the world with your blog, be happy with the small things, kind comments, dates with cute chicks and such (please no more emails asking for dates, I'm a taken man!). I’ve gone all over the world and have met people who have read my blog, who knows maybe when I grow up, I can use this network to find a job.

Worried

"The looting was really bad you know.... I have just realised they have even nicked my mouth organ out from under my nose - literally!"

Grit them teeth girls

How can one tell that these are porn stars? Look OK to me. Seems they
are at their version of the Oscars -
Tosscars?

Isn't science wonderful

I read that makers of the official Viagra in USA are packaging it with a musical anti-theft tag.
So, now we can have the National Anthem that the old soldier can stand up for!

Well done Borders NHS

Today was appointment day for the Cardio clinic at Borders General Hospital. I’d been waiting for this since my fibrillation scare last August. My determination to see a specialist had been heightened by the attitude of the Saturday Girl temporary doctor at the Knoll Clinic.
I’d been asked to get there a bit before the appointment time so as to have an ECG, blood pressure check and other measurements so my five minutes before time of parade thing was fully indulged. The ECG was normal – normal for everyone or normal for fat old oxygen thieves was not declared. The blood pressure did its usual thing and embarrassed me by being almost off the top end of the scale. I had my record of readings though and this demonstrated that my pressures are variable give or take 80 points.
I was called forward to the registrar bang on my appointed time. First shock was being seen by a black doctor – a Nigerian gent with a name suffering from and excess of vowels. I have obviously been here a bit too long if a black doctor surprises me; I thought they were all in the South. Anyway, spoke better English than I do so origin was not a fault. At least I didn’t have to describe my problems in Arabic as happened in Kent.
Very early on in his history-taking I made the point that my concern was avoiding – so far as is possible – the risk of stroke and my not wanting to rely on a 13 amp plug and electricity for birthday presents. Seems this was a thing worth mentioning as the priority determines the treatment. Before deciding that the heart would have to do its own thing though, I had a echocardiogram and a chest x-ray. Again, requisitions written up there and then. Off to the respective departments before back to see the man of vowels. By the time I had got there he had received the echo results on his desk screen and the x-ray pictures came through as I sat down. Reading was that he heart is mechanically OK and can be left to its own devices at the present time. We then had a long discussion about reducing pressures and it seems that warfarin is the drug of choice. I have heard some very bad reports on warfarin or rat-poison as it may more commonly be described.
Super-doc then hand-wrote a report for my GP and off I went; 100% satisfied and amazed at how things can be done within the NHS when everyone is trying. In Kent, each examination would doubtless have entailed a wait of weeks to get followed by weeks to get an interpretation. Then a further delay to discuss things with the specialist.
My Boys Day Out At Hospital was not yet over however. My escape route took me past the Audio Clinic and I thought I’d see just how my luck was riding. I poked my head in, removed my plastic ear and told them it had stopped working – did I have to start over again with the GP or could they help? Fixed an appointment there and then for two days ahead! Beat that ANYONE never mind those in the South.

Doggone

See if you can read this without crying.

I couldn't.

Gay Reds

Some while back I wrote about gay cowboys in the early days of beef herding. (Looks as if I'm going to have to be careful here!). My thoughts have always been that in a rough world bereft of soft skin and wobbly bits, it was not to be wondered at that a certain amount of homosexuality creapt in.
Now, in the wider discussion in the wake of Broken Mountain, it seems that my mind was not the only one going down the Chisholm Trail. Even the native Americans were at it.

Meditation

I think there is much to be said for meditation. The little bit of cloth that was lifted for me at my Buddhist retreat was into the world of Zen and they are big on meditation. The position one adopts, the posture when in that position, working on control of breathing, tingling bells to start and finish - all have their place. They say that meditation can be undertaken seated (the position one most sees depicted), lying down or walking. I would not recommend walking meditation along Oxford Street. We all started off with a 30 minute target. I did all the procedures and got - nothing. However, after a while, 'something' came. I found it relaxing even though it is something I had to work at to achieve. If I've had a bad night, I do little session before I get out of bed and it seems to help relieve the concern as to why sleep was banished. It is not an easy gig but, from my experience, it can be done and it benefited me.

Read this.

This is a blog by a narcotics officer in America. It is very little to do with his career but a wonderful tale about a daddy-proud little girl.

How the heck?

Whilst struggling to get into the arms of Morpheus last night, my left-sided brain was undertaking a review of the year. As in all good publications and other media. That, somehow, took me into fate; just what is pre-ordained, can it be altered or managed. From there I slipped into people and circumstances I had known. This long introduction is necessary – bear with me.

Relationships have always intrigued me. How did a good bloke like him end up with a dog like her? Why is that partner faithful whilst that partner runs around like a multi-dicked dog? Long while ago I knew someone who, at first sight, had nothing going for him where relationships with women were concerned. He paid little attention to his appearance; long lanky hair, generally a five o’clock shadow and a stranger to deodorant. His interest in daily life was reflected in his lack of serious conversation.

But, where Tom Jones has women throwing their under-garments at him, this guy had them folding them neatly and laying them at his feet. He was a walking babe-magnet. Ugly women with ‘personality’ were drawn in just as much as their sassy blond sisters. He himself did not know what it was that made him irresistible. Any rumour about his – er - erm physical qualities was just that – a rumour with no basis in fact. Once in the web, everything was sexual activity and attraction. Back then, this was extremely unusual to see acknowledged.

As a balance, I worked with someone who was really a Greek God stranded on earth. Just so very desirable as to make some men doubt or be scared for their heterosexuality. He attracted almost no women. They worked with and for him OK but there was never any sign that any of them ever wanted to pass beyond a working relationship. His wife – who, until seen, one would expect at least Ursula Andress, was a overweight woman with a slight moustache and irregular teeth. He seemed perfectly happy in his state and, whilst not avoiding female company, seemed almost genderless.

I started to wonder what made his marriage work. In just these two men we had a strange situation. One had great sex and a sad sort of life. The other appeared to have a great life balance but, to all intents and purposes, a bedroom life with few charms or attractions. Even the whole of the Anne Summers catalogue could not have changed that.

On the verge of this momentous scientific finding, I finally fell asleep.

Bored myself into it you might say.

They shall grow not old..........

I'm sure we all know the stanza "They shall grow not old......" but that is just one part of a great WW1 poem.

For The Fallen
With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
England mourns for her dead across the sea.
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.

Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
There is music in the midst of desolation
And a glory that shines upon our tears.

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years contemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
They sleep beyond England's foam.

But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
As the stars are known to the Night;

As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain;
As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
To the end, to the end, they remain.

As Good As It Gets

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: Easy. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

Wiki

I quite like the Wiki technology where just about anyone can pitch in and contribute. Accuracy depends upon others doing something when they come upon a mistook
This is from WikiHow - an off-shoot to show how things can be done.
Someone has written how to tell if you want a German shorthaired pointer
Got to be something wrong here. The tests for humans should run into 22 volumes. God forbid we ever get a gsp that can write. No, correct that. No problem with the writing; we just need to be aware if a gsp cares to write.
I feel a article for WikiHow coming on.....

Guilty admission

I have to admit that I sometimes get a bit of a laugh from reading of things that have happened to others. This regardless of whether they are meant to amusing or serious. This lady seems to have found humour in something that I'd regard as serious and, maybe - just maybe - would not giggle.

Drugs

The current debate about the ranking of cannabis in the criminal system pales into something akin to insignificance when one gets a factual report from how things are in the states from someone trying to stop things blowing out of control.
Phew - look at the length of that sentence. I'm spaced out!

Old bloke seeks excitement

It is this sort of thing that I (or my adrenaline glands) miss most now that I am just a TV-watching civvy.

Don’t Say The Q Word

Posted in Ambulances by Mark Myers on the January 6th, 2006

After the Christmas rush, this week has been very quiet. Quiet, by the way, is a forbidden word in Nee Naw Control, because as soon as someone says it, something kicks off and all hell breaks loose. So there I was, feet on the desk, immersed in a leftover copy of Chat magazine (the no reading rule long forgotten), gently snoozing in my reclining chair, and someone must have said that word, because in an instant, the screen above our heads went from “10 call takers free; no calls waiting” to “No call takers free, 21 calls waiting”.

Uh oh. My first thought was: “BOMB!!” (even though on July 7th the increase in call rate wasn’t that sudden and I could count the number of calls about each bomb on my fingers). As the calls were answered, every single person had Angel Islington on their screens, and all the callers were reporting different aspects of the same incident:
“A man has been hit by a bus”
“The bus has hit Sainsbury’s!”
“There’s two taxis smashed up and pedestrians lying in the road everywhere”.

Piecing the bits together, we found what had happened was this — the bus had gone out of control ploughing into two taxis, two shops and umpteen pedestrians.

In the next two minutes, we received forty-three calls on the incident, which is the most I have ever seen. There must have been people standing next to each other with their mobile phones out ringing the ambulance.

Prior to this incident, the most calls I’ve ever noted about one thing was a horrible incident when an old lady was hit by a bus and dragged for a quarter of a mile under the wheels of a car — the car driver didn’t even notice because the lady was already on the ground when he hit her. Everyone down the route dialled 999, reporting the incident at its various stages. I got two calls out of the twenty; the first reported an elderly lady hit by a bus, the last a woman horribly injured under the wheels of a car. “I don’t know how old she is” said the caller “most of her face is missing”. Anyway…

Half the ambulance service was dispatched to Islington, so anyone who wanted an ambulance round those parts for the rest of the day had a bit of a wait, but fortunately no-one died in the incident. At least it woke us all up.

What sort of guy are you?

Robert Morris...-The Executioner-...You are loyal
and brave(to a fault) but you are also a
psychotic killing-machine. Seek professional
help NOW! ;-)


Which Red Dawn Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Melanie Philips gets down to it

Generally makes me spit with annoyance but now and again, gets hot.

January 05, 2006

Bending the Middle East mind

The Jerusalem Post reports:

As Islamic Jihad, the Popular Resistance Committees and Fatah's Al-Aksa Martyrs Brigades announced an end to their self-declared truce of January 2005, under which they pledged to refrain from attacking Israeli targets, an annual summary of terror activities for 2005 released by the Shin Bet (Israel Security Agency) on Sunday revealed that a total of 2,990 attacks were launched against Israeli targets. The attacks occurred after the truce was announced the report stated.

Mind-bender: truce
Truth: mass murder

Interpretation: The Arab war of extermination against Israel has continued unabated. So has the refusal of the rest of the world to acknowledge this fact or do anything about it except pursue the appeasement of terror.

Kate Moss

Well, looks as if she has bounced back.
The photo with dopey lad shows just
what damage she had done to herself.

The latest image is much more like her.
Well done that woman.

Nice young ladies

Why don't we see them like this any more? Nice young ladies that one could take home to meet a (broad-minded) Mum. All the right moves. Great costumes. Just none of that fake-porn image that seems to rule today. Oh - and PLEASE do not refer me to The Coors. It's Pan's People that must dance on the ceiling as the light fades for me.

I'm gay but thank God I'm not a Muslim

Obviously, different degrees of guilt.

If this is Christianity - count me out of it

I had been expecting something from a Muslim fundamentalist along the lines that the stroke of Sharon was some form of holy retribution or punishment for his past life. Instead, the attack comes from someone who spends a lot of time proclaiming himself a Christian (and doubtless makes a nice living from so doing).
Had I the money, I'd set up a team to follow this guy for every minute of every hour of every day. Anytime he so much as stubbed his toe, I ask him what sin of his was being punished in that way. Childish yes, but how the heck else are we to convince this one fifth of a human that he might just possibly, maybe, just once in a while plain be wrong.
Oh - and here is an edit to include some relevant comment from America where they maybe understand this guy better than I ever will.

In the service of the public

Over Christmas, there have been numerous accounts of just what pains in arses the general public can be in their dealings with those who have to remain smiling in the name of Customer Service. I seem to have read American stories, Far Eastern versions, German stories and UK saga.
This, from a policeman named Brian, wins my prize for the best summation of what civilians try to do to him and what he thinks about that.

Ugh!

This image comes to you from the same source as Katie. That proves that there is always a drawback to cruising around the internet without a defined aim. The aim that most comes to mind here is a fire order something like gunner, 25 yards, fat cow, rapid fire.
I've shown it as small as the system allows.
The final 'funny' bit for me is they way that someone has pixillated her eyes as if on a mission to conceal her identity! Just how many face-stuffing cheesecake abusers like this can there be? The signature to this 'image' is 'I felt guilty once but she woke up'. My God!
DO NOT CLICK ON
THIS PICTURE!!

Amazon packing

Never let it be said that Amazon takes risks with consignments. We ordered the two small pots - about 6" diameter and 4" high. They came in a box that would have held a decent sized p.c. And not just the one box either. Le Creuset had packed them with air bags and shredded paper. Amazon put that in a cardboard box with further bags. The two boxes then went into the large delivery unit with - yes, that's right - air bags. We already have sufficient packing for next year's Christmas presents. And what is it they are shipping? Two sturdy little bowls. Sturdy because the Le Creuset stuff we have is mostly that given to us almost 50 years ago. That has been around the world wrapped in paper and does not have even a chip. Fragile? Handle with care? Bah - French humbug.

Cynic

Old Big Head that I am but I seem to remember more or less writing this story just over a year ago. Mind you, it was a forecast and 'over a year ago' I was in one of my bitter and twisted moods. No matter what the world tries to do for good seems to be frustrated by the wicked and evil. I'm lucky - in a way - to be cynical. Just imagine what it must be like to be a Geldof or Bono and reading this sort of thing. Enough to make anyone swear.

People

From an ambulance control guy's blog

8am on Christmas Day:
“Nee Naw Control, what’s the problem?”
“I’ve just passed a man on the road. He appears to have fallen out of his wheelchair and he’s got blood all over his face.”
“Are you with the patient now?”
“No, I can’t stop — I’m on my way to church and it’d make me late…”

Man from Samaria maybe?

No apologies

Yes - my favourite Katie - aka Jordan.
She is getting a beasting on another forum - I'll not give you a link but my choice of the way she is being treated is a clue.
She made up her mind what she wanted to do. She has stuck with it despite all the attacks. She has paid the price of fame many times over but just soaks it all up. Read some of her press and it is clear that she is not stupid and does not understand what her image is. I suspect that if she looked like, say, Mo Mowlem she would not attract the bitching she gets.
Oh - and I'm honest enough to say I find her very attractive - very

Go for it!!

I just love this. I've always had a fascination with piglets. Such curiosity and a real zest for life. Came from a Good Ole Girl. Thanks Maggz.

Keep calm - it's a commercial

Front page of an Emirates newspaper. It is aimed at English readers and we do not know how much, if at all, it mirrors the Arabic versions published in the area. I was struck by just how it differs from the papers we will have seen in UK today. A calm community. Not racked with political schism. No pudenda-revealing photographs of some thong-offender. Just the thing to fall asleep with over one’s face after a nice tiffin and a gin and tonic or two.
During the times we lived in the more remote areas of the world – well, remote in those days anyway – we used to get UK papers weekly. They looked something like the daily issues bound up together as a magazine. One could read them with a complete sense of security. Something like the Archers. Each daily issue would fulminate on how nigh was the end of the world or civilisation as we knew it. Drama. Discord. Deadly danger.
And yet. The very next day the same papers appeared. All was well. The end of the earth had passed us by. Very comforting.

Don't know how many - or, even if any, service or former service people read this but you could be in at the start of a brave new world. There is a Army forum where military matters are discussed. Right now the hot topic is the establishment of a Military Federation. This cannot be a Trade Union as such. The idea of the Army going on strike is something outside the comprehension of the vast majority of the civilian population and all of those who have served.
Unfortunately, the style of non-Government we have where our elected representatives are routinely misinformed (I'm being nice here - I am very tempted to use the words lied to) leads to much injustice. We hear much of the cost of our defence resources but hardly ever get any reasons. Cost over-runs, changes, inefficiency and just plain stupid thinking get lost in ministerial paper mountains and smart-arsed Press conferences. We recently went into a situation where the politicians were talking tough about Weapons of Mass Destruction. It is now clear that the decision to use armed force was well in place long in advance of the sabre rattling. However, the Men at The Ministry and our self-serving politicos insisted that the Army should do nothing or buy nothing which suggested war was on the cards. Soldiers died purely because of this duplicity.
So. Go. Read. Contribute even - they may be rough speaking Tommy Atkins prototypes but they welcome all.
Just one thing though - ARRSE can be addictive. There is a lot there that is not for the faint-hearted who may never have heard or imagine just what does go on in the soldiers' mind and world.

High spirits

Some while back, in a maudlin spirit not influenced by strong drink, I laid down a few principles re. The End. Sort of setting house in order; tidy up without use of damned Hoover.
Funny thing is that since then, I've felt better in mind than for yonks and yonks.
Least, I think it was that blog. Could be due to my new pet and companion though?

New Year

Different world. Not our aspect. How to live a better life.
Check it out with Fred.

Choose your hospital? I'd rather have a choice of goverment

That damned fool Skippy Hewitt has played another blinder. To punish us for beating her side at cricket, she has introduced another disaster-in-the-making.
Seems that patients are to be given a choice of four hospitals for non-urgent surgical treatment. This is all part of some NuLabour touchy-feely initiative together with oh joy!, yet more chances to play about with things they are fascinated by but do not understand.
What are my objections? How will I focus on the hospital I want? What are my priorities - is it that I wish to avoid them killing me with MRSA? Where will I find statistics I can comprehend. Don't want somewhere where their wish is to seize upon my organs and display them in little bottles for the next 100 years? Will my relatives be able to get to see me (as if they dare!) without some horrific 7 hour journey on a train that goes via the Great Wall of China? Exactly what is it that a layman can establish that makes one place better than another - past history is of little value as excellence seems so transitionery. Where will we find the doctors we do not have for medical work to do the advice and counselling thing.
Of course, my real worry here is that my local hospital at Borders General which has served me well will be fully occupied by refugees from that charnel-house which is Medway Maritime. Someone will say, "Where do you wish to go?". I shall reply "BGH" What next do I hear? "Sorry. Computer says no. Would you like to go to Medway Maritime?"
Quite a few links today - sorry but I wanted to give some support to my wild allegations.

Help!

Just love this image but cannot think of any thing to go with it.
Anyone?

Application of politically correct balance and right minded images

Just in case the Non-smoking Nazi come to
get me...........

Monument Valley

This is a photograph of the place where Marlborough Man used to sit for his advert shots.
The latter-day representation is quite a well managed event. Travel through the Valley can be led or freelance, in ones own or a vehicle owned by a guide. All controlled by the local American Indian tribe. If you are with a guide, you get to this place about 15 minutes into the circuit. The vehicle swings round in a circle and stops with the passenger side looking out towards arather nondescript view. Nondescript by the standards of the valley that is. What one does spot almost straight away is a small piece of cardboard just standing in the ruddy soil. On it "$1 for photos of the horse". What? Where? What damned horse? Then you will stand back and look behind you and this is what you will see. Rather, this is an idea of what you will see and no camera - digital, gilm, still or video will catch what this place is about. It is truly spiritual. Much of the valley remains off limits to the Navajo for religious reasons imposed by their own tribal leaders.
The idea of cowboys and Indians comes across strongly - I queued at my local cinema to see the films every Saturday morning. I did my usual poking in of the nose and the valley is also part of the injustice the Native Indians received.
We stayed at Kayenta just below the main park entrance as I wanted to experience that drive down the long desert road into the towers and walls of the valley. Thinking of a meal, we drove into the local shopping mall. This whole area is in fact part of the main reservation for Navajo indians. It is an incredibly sad place. The tribes claim to have chosen to run things their own way. They are concerned apparently at what they see as the wrong ways of everyday America. What they have are aimless 3rd world people. Drink seems to play some part as it was just about the only place in USA where I saw drunkenness in public to such a scale. I choose to run areas of my life in what I call reverse apartheid. I did this before getting to Kayenta. Here I saw it at the worst such a way of life could be.

Great small retreat

If you ever go across the sea to Ireland .......... no, that's not right. If you ever drive across the Atlantic over on the West Coast just below Oban, you will come to what I think is one of the nicest little communities I have seen.
Whilst there are shops and a ferry point together with a RIB ride that is very white-knuckle, it has always looked to me as if it were some cast-ashore Marie Celeste. Hussle and bussel is there none. What is there is a very fine oyster bar. Not just oysters as they do some very serious cooking of fish - including a free meal if you can eat all of the 1 metre-long fish that it consists of. Just measure that out on the desk now and imagine! It is wide in proportion; nothing like a metre long eel which would be a cheat.
Having mentioned the Seil oyster bar, I have to acknowledge that there is a (only slightly) better bar over on Loch Fyne.
This is the one that gets all the publicity. Prescott or some other politico stopped there and, if 'twere he, doubtless cleared the kitchen and stock room of food. That does not spoil it for us. Whilst menu and cooking are to die for, I go just for the service. Nearest thing I'll ever get to living like a King. I do not think we have ever been there and not ended up in conversation with other patients at tables nearby. I say patients as it is just that - a place for looking after people.
Enough - Tourist Board can do their own work. Just add - my idea of a Big Boys Birthday would be lunch at Seil and dinner at Loch Fyne with a very snorty Porsche so as to be able to get from one to the other with some detours. But then - that opens up the fish place in Oban and the steak place there and, and, and. Well, maybe two Big Boys Birthday days.

Stub 'em out

Much in today's news-lite papers about a total ban on smoking in just about any open area of Scotland. So, no lighting up just as you set off across Rannoch Moor. I'm sure the wildlife will thank you for it. My normal attitude to any "Let us Ban It" movement is quite unfriendly, However on this question, I do agree with the views of a quick-response paramedic.

I found myself standing in a house, sometime in the small hours. In front of me was a women who was just starting to go into the early stages of labour. Also in the sparse sitting room were four small children, a husband and a grandmother.

"Do you mind if I have a fag?", the woman asked, peering over her baby carrying belly.

"Been smoking a lot?", I asked while eyeing an asthma inhaler.

"Yeah", she replied, "they won't let me smoke in the hospital, will they?"

"No, they tend to frown on people smoking around newborns - not good for their health you know".

I looked at the children again.

"Hi kids", I said, "who here has asthma?"

Two of the children put their hands up.

"You know of course", I said turning to the mother lighting up her cigarette, "that your smoking has probably given them asthma".

"Yeah", she replied, "Kids - go stand outside while your mum has her fag".

The two children, one four years old, one perhaps seven, both dressed in their night clothes went out through the front door into the freezing air of the night.

I don't think the mother quite understood what I was trying to tell her.

Luckily the ambulance crew turned up before I could tell her that the best thing she could do was die quickly of lung cancer so her kids might get adopted into a family that may have the slightest concern for their health.

Yes - I am an anti-smoking nazi, especially when you are fucking up the lives of children who have no say in the matter.

New Year - Bah Humbug continues

This is the time when it seems that all around are giving it large with predictions, hopes, threats - you name it what - in connection with the year 2006.
Well - not here. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I live for the day. What is in the future is undefined and can stay that way until each tomorrow becomes today. If one has the resources - mental, physical and financial, there is nothing about tomorrow that is bad or scary. Yes - there might even be something pleasant in our stars but I'd rather that the good news fell out of the sky. That way, I'll not build anything up such that it fails to meet expectations.
I commend this attitude to you.

I've gone redneck

Just a bit of fun when I put the url from here into this place

End of 2005

Just to add a bit of balance to all those 'ooh' and 'aar' photographs that we have seen during the year, here is another view that one will see. Like a background screen for someone advertising coats or trousers that will be good down to minus 30 degrees.
I think that we - the John Wood family - have had a pretty steady year. Some things I wish had never happened but luckily none of those were within my direct control or came about because of some failure or stupidity of mine. My main source of pride is that we've been here for a little while only but even in that time we have become more and more certain we did the right thing. Like all of my decisions made quickly and with little research, it seems to have saved itself.

All that is left is to finish off the cleaning and dusting and to start on the mood-inducing activities.

Mood inducing activities

Bet you thought I was meaning waccy-baccy and sex! Huh.

Green is the colour of envy

Damn!

I thought I had had a good and adrenaline-spurting life and then along comes this bugger. This is just one year.

Kerry (Packer for any USA visitors!)

Just to add a little something to my item about Kerry Packer.
Seems he was in a casino at a no-limit table and was in his normal not accepting fools gladly role.
Another player was being a bit OTT and he and Kerry had words. Guy said, 'I am somebody you know - I'm worth $60 million'. KP replied ' Toss you for it'
Having money - Mastercard
Knowing how to use it - priceless.

Strokes for folks

Sure as hell, ain't Duns, Berwickshire TD11 3DE.
Would'nt mind stroking the lantern and getting genie to take me back for a quick visit. Quick as I thought first time I saw it, this place was a slightly less-scruffy Hong Kong. Maybe that's it's charm?

Police powers

Telegraph | News

Police are to be given sweeping powers to arrest people for every offence, including dropping litter, failure to wear a seat belt and other minor misdemeanours.
The measures, which come into force on Jan 1, are the biggest expansion in decades of police powers to deprive people of their liberty.
At present, officers can generally arrest people if they suspect them of committing an offence which carries at least five years in prison. They will now have the discretion to detain someone if they suspect any offence and think that an arrest is "necessary".

Hazel Blears, the Home Office minister, said: "It is vital that the police are equipped with the powers they need to enable them to do their jobs properly and effectively. The powers need to be updated to reflect modern policing priorities and the changing nature of criminal activity.

The only reason criminal activity is changing is because nuLabour have brought in 5300 new arrestable offences in the last few years! Liberty is becoming an absent friend we should remember on New Year's Eve.

Mind you - there must be a small bonus in this nuLabour/nuThinking stuff. If the police end up with the power to arrest any lolliopop-stick sucking juvenile, there can be no case for Identity Cards. Who needs them in a police state anyway? "If I say you're nicked sunshine, you're nicked"

Are they taking the P out of this whistle-blower?

I normally do not include 'heavy' stuff here. There are plenty of people who do it much better than I.
Here is an exception; made as it shows the way in which our current political Lords and Masters operate.

Who abused the pig?

I think Old Jack has been reading of the service this lady gave the pig!

Over-indulgence

Opinions vary as to whether over-eating at Christmas is a real problem or just involves some individuals.

Snow

OK Gemmak. You got what you wanted. Enough. Stop it. Don't do that - TURN THE DAMNED STUFF OFF!!

Auto ranter

End of a giant

So, there you go as they say. Much criticism was thrown his way – mainly about the commercialism of cricket. At the time, I though that he – allied to our man Grieg with the funny accent – were doing great things. Still think the same – mostly.
While there had been many false alarms in recent years, the 68-year-old Mr Packer knew the end was near when he became ill on Christmas Day.
"There is only so much medication and so many transplants and so he accepted no aid," said the radio host Alan Jones, a friend who visited the Packer family yesterday. "He then knew, I think his words were, 'This is my time."'
Mr Packer, on heavy pain relief, chose to stay at home rather than be taken to hospital. He died about 10.40pm on Boxing Day surrounded by his family. His death was precipitated by poor blood supply to the transplanted kidney he received in a life-saving operation five years ago. There were multiple causes for his death, the main being kidney failure.
Mr Packer was Australia's richest man, with an estimated wealth of $7 billion.
Just shows, money ain’t everything. Except – I bet his last hours were easier than the last hours of some down and out. Don’t begrudge him that though.

This is for you Mr. Gates - or, it used to be

I've deleted this as it was too wide and was screwing up the general look
of things.

I like to help

New T-shirt design.

What I want for Christmas (2006)

Too late for this year.

Gay partnerships

The quote below comes from a US site debating gay partnerships. I'm not going to link it as it is supposedly religion based but I think the overall tone is rabid. The quote is part of a comment. I take the poster's (a woman if you need to know) point and see it as something I'll try and remember for next time someone who knows me not seeks my opinion on the matter. So - what was it? Here you go...

Some people involved in the debate are concerned about the "slippery slope" idea. Marriage should be about love, but it's original intention was as a sort of "blessing" so that people could go on to have children, and provide them with a stable household. It's foundation is in procreation. When you redefine the concept of marriage to allow homosexuals to marry, all of a sudden there are countless other examples which arise. A father and daughter, for example. Or a threesome. Or sisters. The lines which currently surround the marriage concept blur.

Saddos

I posted before about Foulden (where Xmas lights go to die) Village.
It got no better! On 24th, we passed through and only two houses had mutined on diktat about No Tat Lights. Went through today and even those had disappeared.
I think next year, I'll form a hit squad and we will descend in early hoursof 25/12 and attach big sparkly, high voltage, lights to everything and then start singing rude versions of carols. Set up a big circus tent on their hallowed turf, have sleigh rides - the full Monty. I've already set up a big bottle for saving up ready.

Portrait of artist as an Old Man

Hope this titillating image of a dirty old man exposing his face to the risque world is not too sexually-arousing for the young nuns with the firm white skin and pert little breasts who will be flogging themselves in sick penitence over viewing this disgusting image.

Well, that is the web-spidering over for a bit.

Recovery of webcam from of 'rubbish' will open a whole new era. Watch out.

I am now off to sexually abuse next door's cat on live video with sound. Parental guidance advised. Imagine. Built donkey-like. Caught in bath. Half naked bitch in kinky bathroom scene.

That explains it

Why men commit more crime than women?

Don't cha...

sometimes feel a little inadequate to face the daily challenges of this cruel world?

Situation report

So, here we are on the second day of Christmas. What my true love bought for me is irrelevant so that is the end of that conversation thread.
Anyway, major achievement seems that Norma and have got this far without major dissent, the dog is well fed and the house is warm. On the down side, the waste water pipe from the kitchen sink has come adrift and is beyond emergency repair. That puts the dishwasher, clothes washer and sink out of commission - major dissent on the horizon.
Thank God for my portable DVD player. The TV schedules look horrible and I do not have an addiction for house make-over programmes. I can watch just what I want - third showing of True Grit is just about to start; after that we will have Shining or Zulu.

MercuryNews forecasts the top 10 tech trends for 2006

I looked at this last year and was, if my memory serves, quite impressed by the half-year. So, let's see what it does this year. There is some interesting stuff in there - looks as if shiny little gadgets will be top of the pops for next Christmas!!

Call me George

Call him what YOU like - I still think of him as a word that begins with C

Victim advocates

I ranted about this damned daft idea when it first appeared over the horizon of Daft Ministerial Ideas.

(Settles back with warm glow of self-satisfaction)

Not all soft and cuddly

Whilst much of the stuff going into the ether at this time of year is like a home-knitted dildo, there are still those who dish out opinions that are at varience with the opinions, wishes and intentions of the many. One that I like and enjoy is here.
I've mentioned before my opinion that getting a spotlight onto things that have a residual tabboo is a good thing. See the (earlier) Little Britain items. I say earlier as it seems now to have gone into that 3rd-series limbo where it is no longer fresh and funny but formulaiac and boring. Thus, I think what the girl with the one track mind is doing is good. Nothing can be fairly examined and discussed all the while it is at the back of the cupboard - or should that be closet?
Oh yes - the subject matter. Not that I feel I have to justify my likes and dislikes but just out of interest - my link to the girl with etc. came as a link from a 'respectable' police officer - albeit he is with the Met!

Rubbish?

Time to start out on that great End-of-Year experience where I sort through the stuff in my study (out of bounds to wives with Dysons). I think it is wonderful how the people who make mice designed them to work when less that 10 sq cm is available outside the swelling tide of paper, cd disk covers, cigar bands, letters to be answered, assorted 'toys' and all that other detritius that insists on self-preservation on just my desk top. That ignores three spare laptops, Palm pda stuff and printer cartridges. Who knows? there may be a sovereign's ransom here if I could be bothered with e-bay.

Most men's dreams come true?

This guy seems to have achieved what must surely be the dream of those who do the lottery.
Mind you there has been the joke version of this. Chap wins £30 million on lottery. Goes home, tells wife the good news and tells her to hurry up and get her things packed. She says, "Where are we going?" He replies - "Go where you like - just get out!"

OH - MY GOD

This is the time of the year when the Darwin Awards are announced. These recognise the most idiotic manner in which someone has lost their life through total and utter stupidity. I have always thought that many of the contenders have had something of the Urban Myth about them - funny though they are. This year, I have commenced the Oh My God Awards. These recognise when personal stupidity has conspired with Murphy's Law to create a particularly horrendous error of some sort.

The winner this year - so far - comes from Japan. I'll post it in full rather than give a link as the parent site is littered with pop-up, slides, wipes and just about everything guaranteed to distract from the message of the url.

TOKYO (AFX) - The Financial Services Agency (FSA) said it has told Mizuho Securities to improve its operations, after a botched trade in the shares of a newly-listed company jolted the stock market recently.

On Dec 8, a trader at Mizuho Securities punched in an order to sell 610,000 shares in newly listed J-Com Co at one yen each, instead of the intended one share at 610,000 yen, which resulted in an estimated loss of 330 million US$ for Mizuho Securities.

The order for the shares of J-Com was more than 42 times the total number of J-Com's outstanding shares, making it difficult for Mizuho Securities to settle its position.

The FSA issued an administrative order demanding that the stockbroker review its system for placing orders, improve its computer system, establish an appropriate risk-management system and report on its progress by Jan 20.

'We would like to apologize for causing serious inconvenience to those concerned, and would like to make utmost efforts to prevent a recurrence,' Mizuho Securities President Makoto Fukuda said in a statement.

Mizuho Securities recently set up a committee, comprising five legal and audit experts, to come up with a plan to prevent any recurrence of such incidents. It did not say when the committee is supposed to finish its work.

The Tokyo Stock Exchange has admitted that a fault in its system prevented the Mizuho trader from cancelling the order after he realized the mistake.

Last week, the FSA issued a similar administrative order to the exchange demanding that it ascertain the cause of the botched trade, take measures to prevent a recurrence, review its market surveillance system, clarify where responsibility lies and report on its progress by the end of January.

The exchange announced this week that its president, Takuo Tsurushima, had resigned to take responsibility for the botched trade.

Ever since I first came across this, I keep having flashbacks. It seems that the selling broker made desperate efforts to stop the transaction but it took over four hours. My mind sees little Japanese functionaries hitting ctl-alt-del. Then the Big Red Button is invoked. Then there is a rush round the building yanking at every computer wire in sight. New keyboards delivered to replace those ctl-alt-del'td to destruction. Lifts melting under the load of messengers sent hither and yon. The broker getting home - sad faced - and wifey saying "Have a good day at the office dear?"

It would be nice to think that those who participated in the frantic buying would unwind the deals but exchanges do not work like that. You sell it - it's sold. There are trading positions where traders "go long" or "go short". I reckon this guy has just created another - go dead.

Somewhere overseas

Just think on this guy's blog whilst you are sitting down to that first ice-cold gin and tonic after all the hassle of fighting your way through the Christmas rush. Just before wifey complains that you forgot the macademia nuts.

A Strange World, My Masters

The court of appeal has ruled that the government must allow an independent inquiry into the death of an Iraqi civilian allegedly killed by British troops.

Meanwhile, in another dusty, fusty room………

Relatives of British soldiers who died in Iraq failed on Tuesday in a legal bid to force a public inquiry into the government's decision to go to war.
One of the country's top judges ruled that debate over Prime Minister Tony Blair's decision -- the most hotly disputed of his premiership -- belonged in the political arena, not the courts.
"The only purpose (of an inquiry) would be to try to make a political point, or show the prime minister did not tell the truth," Judge Andrew Collins told the High Court in London.
The government was accountable to parliament and ultimately the electorate for its actions, Collins said.
Blair won a third term in office earlier this year, although with a sharply reduced majority partly due to anger at the war.
The government has insisted the 2003 U.S.-led invasion was justified under international law as Iraq's then-leader Saddam Hussein had repeatedly breached United Nations resolutions.
It has also said several independent inquiries have found ministers innocent of any wrongdoing despite repeated claims by opponents that they exaggerated the case for war.
Pressure group Military Families Against the War, which says it has the backing of 14 families who have lost loved ones in Iraq, vowed to press on with its campaign despite the ruling.
"The families believe the decision to invade Iraq was based on deceit and lies. Our sons and husbands were sent to their deaths on the backs of these lies," said Rose Gentle, whose son Gordon was killed by a roadside bomb in southern Iraq in 2004.
"Their deaths were unnecessary as were the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent Iraqi people," she added.
Obviously, any inquiry about the deaths of our personnel should be set against the same question as for the Iraqi civilian – how were they killed? They will get the answer “Can’t tell you – there are still investigations in place”
But, same situation exists with regard to the Iraqi. Several soldiers are under investigation about his death following arrest at a hotel.
All very correct I’m sure – as if the law would bend over to help Tony (Butler, Hutton anyone) – but it is all a bit too complex for a young lad like me.

Waal - lookie here

Hollywood's got a new film coming out, Brokeback Mountain, about two cowboys who spend a magical summer up on the mountain and learn a lot about life, love and all that stuff. They have some kind of bonding experience, or maybe overcome some kind of problem. As a result the world and their wife is going mad about this flick. The movie doesn't seem to be about making money — although, doubtless, all that wind could translate into millions — but more about getting some new concept out there in time for the Oscar competitions. Though it's about gay cowboys, many Christian groups claim they won't protest or boycott the movie. That does not, of course, mean they will form lines to pay and go see it. How will such a story go down (no pun intended) in George Bush's "God speaks to me" America?
Somewhere I had the idea that same-sex couplings were not unknown in early cowboy communities. Certainly, the movies seem to show that the whores with hearts of gold did not come out West (no pun intended) until after the railways arrived. The other idea - which I find quite funny - was about the way that cowboy was coined. Seems that a considerable number of the pioneering sons of the saddle were black - hence boy. Any calumny I have foisted on the guys with wide-brimmed hats - please excuse; it's just I like these two facts/theories

Law laughs

I see that they now want to mess about with "what is murder?" legislation. Idea is to ease off on what some people get in the way of imprisonment. At present, murder means a life term. Oh dear! that might be a bit much for some people. Nevermind that only the most Silence of the Lambs type killers do much more than half a life anyway before someone lets them out on licence with proven risk they will kill again. The priority should be on the safety of the general public. Yes - great shame if someone kills another but what I want is not compassionate treatment for him but protection for me and mine. Seems one of the new proposals is that if killer did not intend to cause death, it is not murder. Guess what the excuse will be now where Mr. Nasty chops up Miss Live-in Lover and spreads her bits about like manure on rhubarb. "I never meant to kill her".

Had another thought today on my memento mori-sort of thing Ten, nine, eight. The sort of family I have are quite likely to want a knees-up. They will say, "Sod him - he's dead, Lets have a funeral" If that be the case, all I will really insist on is that comedian Bernard Manning does my eulogy.

Dirty digits

Have just broken off from my reading of all the blogs I keep up with.
Much jubilation on the US in Iraq ones about the latest round of voting - how democratic, how civilised, what great hopes for the future.
Looking at the situation we have here, I cannot see what the deal is. We had an election, one in a series of them going back many years. The clowns who got in had - I'm told - the support of just 1.2 in every 10 registered to vote. So, that is democracy.
Don't tell me we were at fault for not participating. Democracy, universal suffrage and all that is supposed to keep us so involved and keen that they should have been fighting to get us all in on time at the right place.
Iraq is - possibly - in a worse situation than we are. I say possibly as they still have significant oil on stream and do not have quote Leaders unquote who give away significant sums from those subsidies that have been included in Budget calculations for forthcoming periods. So, what will they get from this marvellous new idea called voting and democracy?
Coca-Cola and McDonalds; I bet you.
Oh - and possibly Satchel-mouth Cherie looking after the rights of working mothers. Big deals all round.

Longfellow - short thoughts

So Nature deals with us, and takes away
Our playthings one by one, and by the hand
Leads us to rest so gently, that we go
Scarce knowing if we wish to go or stay,
Being too full of sleep to understand
How far the unknown transcends the what we know.

Eldercut.

This is from an Urban Dictionery I get every day - keep up my street cred!
Now I know how to describe myself on the next census-form - a Jedy Eldercut.

ELDERCUT.
When an elder member of the human race doesn't feel the need to wait in line. (usually a buffet of some type) Either because their time is running out, or they have given up on any social grace.

My goodness was that an eldercut....did that old person just cut in front of me at the buffet line? Well, I guess I will let them get away with it, because they can't hear me anyway.

SNAFU

Seems there is something wrong with my/bloggers comment system and it will not organise posting of comments.

If you are really bursting at the seams with perceived wisdom or studied insults, please write me via

kepirouge@btinternet.com

and I will get back to you. Promise!

Meanwhile, the clever lad who knows about thingamegiggs is working on it - he says!

How evil are you?

How evil are you?Take the test

Hello Santa!

This is what I would like. A one-man hot air balloon. This guy was able to just dip his feet onto the very top of the water; I doubt he got his feet wet. Just think of where this could take me - back up into the hills and far away. Think of it on a day with low mist. Have to have a licence of course but so what - I can read.

Ten.... Nine.... Eight....

What’s with the counting? Some sort of count down?
Well, yes actually.
Why? Wazzup?

Hard to put into just a few words – even for a maestro like me.  Best I can do now is that it is some sort of “Friends, Romans, Countrymen” sort of moment where an attempt to explain something complex like regicide is in fact a valedictory. Those with a low level of interest, or threshold of boredom or who have got here by mistake, should take off now.

Right, if you are all sitting carefully, I’ll begin. Right now I’m feeling pretty chipper and OK with myself. I seem to be as free as ever I’ll be from depression – off the tablets anyway. My latest audit comes to a balance that I’ve fulfilled all my parental responsibilities. The two individuals have been properly raised and would say ‘F (go away)……..off’ at any uninvited initiative of mine. Grandchildren have got to the stage where they are hardly children and have sensible parents anyway. Thanks to Norma’s efforts, we are, barring major disaster anyway, financially secure. You can switch off the red light and hang up the red dress now dear.

This enviable state leaves me at a bit of a loose end. I have free time to cogitate and that audit reveals a few unclosed accounts. The first thing I have to accept is that I am not getting any younger, wiser or gaining any major influence over anything. I’m just drifting. The analogy is that drifting ships sometimes end up in difficulty on a lee shore. Disaster and tragedy intervenes before they are ready to deal with it. I do not wish to drift into anything. Whilst, at the moment, I have not the slightest desire to jump off a very high building, I feel that my time on earth has been amply filled and would not complain at a swift soldier-like ending. As Mr. Lauderdale said at ‘Batasi’, “I have seen Calcutta. I have eaten camel dung. My knees are brown, my navel is central, my conscience is clear, and my will is with my solicitors, Short and Curly”

This world we have now is not the world I signed up to. Whilst I am not religious in the sense that I follow any particular belief to the exclusion of others, I have always tried to work to a set of beliefs. My short stay with the Buddhists and consequent study demonstrated that what I tried to live by is in fact close to their ideas. So, I’m more ‘what would Buddha do’ than the managerial mantra of ‘what would Jesus do’.

That basis for my behaviour has pretty well gone. For example, I used to be comforted by the idea that evil was punished – There’s always a day called Katchum. If not by some judicial system, then by kismet, karma, whatever. The baddy would walk free from court and be run over by a bus sort of belief. Childlike and simple – yes. False – who knows; it kept me happy when I thought I saw it at work. That natural justice concept has gone. Time and time again we see the evil ones triumph and unpunished on this earth. Maybe they will be re-incarnated as a cockroach but I want justice now. People could universally be regarded as basically honest. Now – I count my change everywhere. My defence mechanism of reverse apartheid in keeping away from situations and people I know I will not like, is coming under more and more pressure.

Lots of the things we respected have been trodden into the mire of modernity. Attitudes to the aged, respect for other cultures and, here’s a really old word, ‘gentlemanly’ conduct are all bygones. We are being blamed now for ‘sins’ we committed when they were not sinful. Smokers and the obese are being denied medical treatment because their problems are considered self-inflicted. I am sure the day will come when some lesbian vicar living with her same-sex civil partner (both practising celibacy – right!) will send me to purgatory. Just because I committed the sin of allowing myself as a fifth-former to be sexually abused behind the bike-sheds by a sixth-form girl. It’s all my fault and it’s all her fault if she is still living.

So, my bags are packed and I’m ready to go. Thankfully, there is very little baggage and I can travel light as I walk through the curtains at the back of the stage. Note use of ‘walk’. Let there be no doubt that I do not wish to be kept alive by connection to some 13 amp socket. If things get to the stage when I need to walk to maintain my personal dignity on my own terms, I’ll make that clearly known. I’ve spoken elsewhere of my wish to be remembered on my own terms rather than in the memory of those who knew me. Knowing that a job is only finished properly when done by a committee of one, I need to set the parameters.

Firstly, no fuss or ceremony. Neither Christian, heretic or natural. Those who feel that the way should be smoothed by prayer are welcome to do so – in their usual fashion and venue and not gathered around a box full of what is, basically, carrion. Drinkers are welcome to have an extra one. Cremation – of course. After that? Well, I’d rather like to be the payload in a damned big firework. Yes – I was a soldier and fully enjoyed all the pomp and splendour but it’s rituals have no place in my life now. I’ve heard all the martial music I need.

So, that is ten, nine, eight. I wanted to get this dealt with before Christmas which always makes me very sombre. The alternative was something in an envelope tucked behind the mirror. Only to be found when the house clearance men come round. There is too much to utter in a final gargle. At the end of this – right now – I feel better for having written these few words. It is something I wanted to do and have done.

Will there be a seven, six, five? Dunno. There will certainly be no three, two, one from me.

Stolen from another blogger but maybe valid?

Paranoid sensibilities

If I was of a paranoid and conspiratorial mind, I’d point out that there’s an interesting coincidence between Charles Kennedy pressuring the Government for answers over US ‘rendition’ flights, and the sudden rush of anonymous sources briefing the press that his leadership is under threat.

But I’m not, so I won’t.

What happened next?

Just a small one....

Hope the image is not too stressful. Presence here because someone sent me some belly-dancer photographs and invited comments. Firstly, we need to dignify the lady by giving her a proper name. She is an as-sharqi dancer - a dancer of the deserts. In her own community she is highly respected and has none of the sleazy night club image we might have. The top dancers have their own troup of musicians and lighting men. They are paid large sums of money to entertain at big events - weddings, christenings and things such as that. Anyway - that's why she is here. A c t u a l l y - er hum - er - she is here because I like her. She is modelling part of a costume - they cost large sums as well - so we do not know if she is in fact a dancer. Just say, she has the right basics for the job. She is a well-rounded girl. Plenty of assets. The pose is unfortunate - she looks more like a person who puts loads on camels. Might even be the Governor of California in drag. Hasta la vista baby.
I have fond memories of this sort of lady.
Driving to the beach today we passed through Foulden village. This is a place that has won the Scotland in bloom competition. Quite a pretty little place really - just a line of cottages alongside one edge of the road. When the flowers are in bloom it is very pretty. There is, however, a certain regimentation that the old soldier in me recognises. All cottages have to have the same range of flowers. All must have windows and doors floralised. When we were looking for a place up here I commented to Norma that Foulden was one place that we would not go. It was quite clear to me that there was a flower gauliter who ruled with a rod of iron. Anyway - long story short - today I noticed that there was not one single sign of the approaching festive season (for oldies - Christmas; there - I've said it!!). All other places have their displays set up. Some a bit tacky to my old eyes but festive - yes. Foulden looks like Colditz on a wet Monday. Obviously, the uber-Witch of Eastwick-manque has spoken. Nothing until zero hour on C-Day minus five. Only real holly or ivy. No moving images. Bulbs in two colours only. Nothing more than x-metres tall.
My God - village life!!

Dog poster

This guy has the beginnings of how to understand what your dog is trying to tell you.

Show test card

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible - writer has heavy cold and is confined to bed.

Damn!!

I think this ideally explains the comment "Wrong place. Wrong time"

Drivers who kill

Not that there should be a connection but the forthcoming season of joy will doubtless bring spiritual desolation to some unfortunate where driving is the cause of the death of a loved one. I know why there is a perception that the punishment does not fit the crime. This, by a magistrate, is a very good statement on the problem. Maybe read it now - just in case.

Death on the Roads

One of the most difficult things that a magistrate has to do is to deal with a case where someone has been killed on the road, and a driver faces the court as a result.

The worst offences, of causing death by dangerous driving, or of causing death by careless driving while under the influence of alcohol are straightforward - we would commit them to the Crown Court where they usually attract long prison sentences. The difficult cases are where someone has been killed as a result of careless driving. This offence can only be dealt with by magistrates, and is not imprisonable. Sometimes the tiniest error on the part of a driver can result in a death; this is fairly common where motorcycles are involved. We have always been trained to punish the offence and not the consequences, and when I was first trained we were given an example:-

You and I are driving identical cars side by side, at identical speeds, approaching traffic lights. Stationary in front of us are two more cars, identical to each other. We each hit the car in front at exactly 30mph. The driver of 'my' one gets out of the car uninjured. By horrible chance yours is dead. Should we receive different punishments? My view has always been 'no', as the carelessness is similar. Let us say that the penalty is assessed at £300 fine each, plus six penalty points (offence carries 3 to 9). Next Friday the local paper comes out with a photo of the dead man's mother in tears outside the court, under the screaming headline:- "THE PRICE OF MY SON'S LIFE : £300!" and a picture of Diana-style flowers fixed to the traffic lights.

It is vital that the Chairman prepares the court's judgement with enormous care, explaining clearly the reason for the sentence being what it is, and expressing sympathy with the bereaved. In a case that I saw the defence solicitor addressed about half of his mitigation to the victim's family. But that was not enough, and the victim's mother went off to the Daily Mail who gave it a full page.

The Government is currently reviewing Road Traffic law, and one of the proposals is to create a new imprisonable offence of causing death by careless driving. This runs a real risk of the courts dancing to the tabloids' tune, and imposing disproportionate sentences to please the mob. Accidents happen, and it is for a dispassionate and impartial tribunal to assess the proper penalty if one is appropriate. I fear that we are going to come under pressure to impose severe sentences. It will not, in my view, save a single life.

posted by Bystander

NHS for all?

As a big fat old man, I am naturally concerned about the NICE (as in NICE one?) report which appears to advocate that if a patient who presents for treatment is overweight, a smoker or drinkerm it is OK to defer or even refuse him treatment.
Leave aside the point that without examination there is no way to establish any connection between the 'criminal behaviour' and the affliction, we still have the possibility that the poor sod who does not fit the profile is that way because of the actions of the Government. Rubbish food and no employment tend to go together. Depression may appear to be lifted by alcohol. I say appear before everyone crowds in with their expert medical opinions. The woman is depressed, she drinks, she wants to get treatment for the depression, she is refused because she drinks. In proper hands, this could be written up to be better than the Dead Parrot Joke. I do not intend to get up tight about this; they can treat me or leave me alone and I'll deal with it myself when the time comes. However, this guy has a neat view on the NICE.

Normal service will be .............

Been missing any real drive to contribute here.
Strangely, I think it is because I am feeling pretty chipper.
From lots of reading, I think that most people (not all, before you start!) blog because they want to moan or draw attention to something where they feel moans from someone else would be merited. After all, most people can get themselves to complain about things like bad service or inadequate provision of some resource. Few go the other way and fire off approval to all and sundry when something is satisfactory.
So it is with me. I have the same aches and pains and inability to do what I did twenty years ago but the present situation is that I don't really care about any of this. My attitude that there is a big conspiracy to do me down has left me - maybe the tablets are working? Doubtless, were I to carry out some sort of detailed audit of my blessings I would find there is just as much to bleat and moan about. Right now, I cannot be bothered to look. Long may that last.
So, if I miss a few days it is because I do not have anything strong enough to motivate me and not that I am spending my time on splicing bits of string together to make some sort of hangman's rope.

Cherub

You see - I told you what a lovely baby I was!

Who ate all the pies?

And a flashing of the pink to boot!
Good job he was not going commando.

What a lovely day!!

In terms of scenic beauty, today must be one of the finest days I have seen.
We had a very hard frost overnight. By tenn’ish, the sun had got up but was still very low and slanting. The temperature was about 2 degrees Centigrade.
There was a blue sky that I can only describe as better than Arizona. A really brilliant mid-blue. Other than a few aircraft con-trails, it was completely clear. This meant that the brilliance of the sun was made much sharper. One could literally see for miles. A couple of aircraft went over and added more pin sharp white tracks so there was little wind at high level. It was so clear that I could see the aeroplane itself.
Up in the hills, the low sun meant that some parts of a field would be in bright sunlight and others still frosty in the shadows. The grass was brilliant verdant green. Footpaths and sheep-walks drew a delicate tracery that made some green fields look like lace. Where there were streams, they were mirror black or sparkling gold if the sunshine glanced off. Trees were shown in sharp contrast. In some areas of roadside woodland that are normally just dense blackness, the searchlight effect of the sun brought out the tangled trunks and undergrowth.
Most farmers have put everything to rights for the winter so the fields were, in the main, cleared with hedges neatly trimmed. The bushes in the hedges were gold, copper or black and grew in random sequences. Some sheep were still out and they were just little white blobs with very clearly defined shadows. The male pheasants were stalking about with their colours like jewellery. Other birds were flying and making dense black shapes against the perfect sky. The air itself was crisp – breathing in was like taking a strong nip of whiskey.

Christmas is coming

Sorry about this - I'm having a silly sod sort of day.

I'm in the Arctic

Graffiti

Spotted on the wall of a pub urinal

"Welcome to the White Trash Internet!"

Smoking can damage your health

I reckon that where he is in Iraq, the long-term threat of death from smoking related diseases is the least of his concerns. Don't suppose his comrades worry about passive smoking either.

So there!!

Give this.