Soaps

Well, it’s back. All over UK the personal programming for Thursday night TV has the one fixed point around which all else must adjust. ER has returned. The onward march continues strong. Though, I have to say, IMHO not as strong as it used to be. For me, the last really good season was the one where we lost Doc Green. He held one’s attention whenever he was in view.
I did once read some learned treatise along the lines that no show maintains it’s initial drive beyond the third season. Certainly, they do change. The writers learn what switches us on and concentrate on those ideas. ER used to have as many plots and sub-plots as there were characters but now we have the one continuing theme (currently Abby, Kovac and the baby) with two or three other threads which arise and are settled within the one hour time frame.
For me, the American series idea started with Bonanza. One of my sons seemed to have the firm idea that he had been abducted from the Bonanza ranch by aliens and transported to be left with us. He used to mount-up astride the back of the sofa and gallop into action with (his) Uncle Buck. MASH came along just as I had left the service and reminded me of my spell in Korea and other associations with the American Army. The Tannoy announcements with their surreal messages never failed to get a laugh from me. The mix of poignant and comedy was perfect to the extent that I always thought the series could have been adopted by the anti-war brigade as propaganda. MASH was one where I thought the level went right through to that final episode. The Col Potter years were vintage. Henry and Hotlips were a constant joy. Radar and Klinger were company clerks from hell.
MASH led us into Hill Street Blues. The action on and off duty between Furillo and his DA girlfriend was a solid base for the zany Fay whilst Belker and the SWAT guy could always be relied upon for solid plotting and performance. I think I can close my eyes and watch a rerun of the alligator in the sewer episode. It followed the style where it featured a number of intertwined storylines in each episode, and pioneered depiction of the conflicts between the work and private lives of officers on which the police procedural was centered. The show had a deliberate "documentary" style, depicting officers who were flawed and human, and dealt openly with the gray areas of morality between right and wrong. NYPD followed. Here again, tremendous stuff at first but I lost interest when Sipowitz got married. Nudity and profanity gained a TV footing from this show.
I can remember the earliiest American shows that came over. Peyton Place, Dragnet, Untouchables. There must have been some differences here as I cannot recall plots or characters with any clarity.
Some shows took off and changed format. Law and Order as I recall it started with the law firm run by a very large guy. It has become the Law and Order of today. This has overtones of Dragnet for me.
Another thing I got from these shows was the music. Great stuff.
I can only remember a very few British TV dramas. That is, aside from Blackadder which must be amongst the very best matched only by Porridge. Upstairs Downstairs, Forsythe Saga, Onedin Line all seemed to be written for export more than home consumption. I’m told the supremacy of the American product is a cost thing. We can buy many more hours from them that we can make here.

Devil dog

For those essential moments of light relief, I sometimes dip into Dear Prudence (http://www.slate.com/id/2157385/fr/nl/) and see how society in the USA lives. The piece below had a special significance here in UK where a pit bull type dog savaged and killed a small girl. Police action discovered a wide net of pit bull breeders which is a dog totally banned here. As a dog trainer and owner, I cannot understand the continued existence of any dog that draws human blood so, for my money, the question of Cujo coming to the get-together would never have arisen as he would have gone up the Golden Stairway.

Dear Prudence, My sister has an old dog, part pit bull. The dog has always been very skittish, and over the years, has nipped at the ankles of men and on occasion a woman (including myself). My husband, brother, and two older sons have been nipped on several occasions, and the dog is now starting to nip at the ankles of my 7-year-old son. We really never made much of an issue of this. Recently, my sister attempted to take the dog outside, when it bit her and held on to her hand, causing puncture wounds and resulting in a hospital stay for a severe infection. She insists this was not the dog's fault because he is deaf and was startled. Whenever my parents have a gathering at their home, my sister insists on bringing the dog. Last night, my mother asked me if my family would like to come over for a get-together. I respectfully requested that she ask my sister to leave the dog home. This morning my mother told me that the gathering has been cancelled because of my request. Please let me know if I am out of line.
—Wants My Son in One Piece

Dear Wants, So, collectively, the family leaves with fewer limbs than it came with—what is this compared to the happiness of a demented pit bull? No, you are not out of line, but something is awry with your family dynamics if your mother would prefer to cancel the event than tell her daughter she has to leave Cujo at home. Untrained dogs who view grandchildren as appetizers should be banned from family social events. Don't back down.
—Prudie

Ms Rice does not curry favour

The perfect pixie speaks out giving Iraq's PM notice that he is living on borrowed time if he does not get his people more involved. Seems that raid on the Iranian building was just a forerunner of action US might take in dealing with countries who seek to interfere with Iraqi progress.

Certainly no lack of resolve to go all the way in Iraq and never mind that report.

Well received

So, looks as if the news about troop reinforcements in Iraq is generally approving.

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President Bush ups the ante

Report from Iraq

Interesting report from Iraq. By a (very) senior officer so we can know he has had the opportunity to see a wide area of what is going on.

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As a general sees things.

Nineteen

My message here is simple. You can make a point without being disrespectful. You can make your point without attacking Politicians, Soldiers, Veterans and those who support them. You can make your point without blocking of streets to wave
banners, spitting on soldiers or demeaning the sacrifice of those who choose to serve

This comes from a blog passed to me by an American friend. It follows upon a very moving poem that claims to be known to many Australians. That is at http://mikegulf.blogspot.com/2007/01/i-was-only-nineteen.html and deserves reading in it’s entirity. The Australians were heavily into the Vietnam operation to an extent we Brits may not fully appreciate.Their participation then can well form the basis for a course of conduct now.

This is for "Joe"

You have emerged from Anonymous and refer to yourself as Joe. I control the comment section and your ranting will never get into the blog. You comment on personal matters with absolutely no full knowledge other than what may have been drip fed into your mind. I have asked that you contact me on my e-mail address and I will most certainly answer any query you may have or comment on anything you wish to raise through that channel. On here - never.

Sorry folks. I object to being stalked.

Icon

This blog is appropos nothing really. It was sent to me by a friend in America who knew I'd appreciate the sentiment.
I always saw Wayne as an icon of the way America worked. I admired his open stance on many things. His 1971 comments about white supremecy (no prominent role for blacks until they were sufficiently educated) caused a rumpus but coming on the tail end of my own opinions based on what was happening in England they rang a bell with me. My most-loved area of America was that South West bit around Arizona (sorry John - you bit is nice too) and I think that followed on from seeing so many Wayne films. Plus I like deserts and wide open space. That long drive into Monument Valley from Kayenta down a dead straight road into the canyon country always had me wetting myself in excitement. I'm going to have to end this - I feel a quick dip into The Searchers coming on.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am just going to tack on an admin note. I moderate comments - this following an episode where some idiot wanted to use the blog to post ideas that had no connection with the subject of my post. I have again had a situation where "anonymous" wished to take up something in my personal life with no connection to anything I had written.
I know who "anonymous" might be. I rejected the comment but if the coward who thinks he is sheltered behind that name wishes to contact me (j.wood999@btinternet.com) I will deal with his problem.

Not just any old mum

Has to be a Spanish - old age pensioner mother.

Words fail me.

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Nice to know that it is not just our NHS that is mad

Boredom wins

The companies who provide our car insurance and the home insurance are ones we have used for quite a while. I have had to use the car insurance twice and found that they were quick and efficient. The home insurance seems to do what it says on the tin when I asked for some advice a while back.

Given these standards, I do not chase around getting alternative prices prior to renewing. They make it easier to drift along like this by advising me well in advance what the next year's premium will be.

Sitting here in a state of absolute boredom, I thought that I would try out one of these instant quotes over the internet. I have two speeding fines and expected a significant hike in costs for those.

A little chastened in my financial abilities, I now have a car insurance scheme at 50% of what I was paying and a home insurance that is just under 60% of the old cost. I tried out the help desks of both the new companies and it seems they have call centres here in England so I will never be subjected to la la land lingo.

I'm now looking to see just what else I can chip away at on the internet quote front.

Putting 2 and 2 together

This struck a chord with me as I have just finished a stimulating half-hour assembling a set of book-shelves. It all ended up OK as I had no pieces left over and no pre-drilled holes showing empty. However, the whole process is fraught with tension as one knows that at any time it can all go wrong and there is no way back once dowels have had glue applied and those patent screw devices have been tightened.
When we moved to what is now Chez Nous, we bought a large work-bench to go in the attic. This is a reasonable project as the attic is quite large. The difficulty to instant gratification by buying a bench was that the final flight of stairs is quite circular and is also narrow. Solution – buy a kit. Take it upstairs in the smaller constituents and assemble it there. To say that the IKEA workbench is a complicated unit is a real understatement but we managed it. Problem will come if we ever decide to try to take the bench with us as we move. It will be a job for a guy with a chain-saw.

The saga continues

We hear long explanations from USA and Britain that things are well advanced towards Iraq being run by the Iraqi people.

That, of course, was prior to the cellphone video that was taken in the death chamber finding it's way to world-wide distribution. I'm told that the old phrase about "couldn't organise a pi*s up in a brewery" has now been altered to "couldn't organise a hanging in Iraq" when one needs to signify a total lack of organisation. Even something as simple as taking note of the fact that his death took place on a religious holiday was ignored. This was compounded when critics of this spoke out and were told that it was only a religious holiday for the people of Saddam's sect.

And now we have this. The allegations that the body was abused and ill-handled were met by officialdom, not with promises of an investigation, but dismissed as being a political manouvre. I do not aim to prejudge any inquiry but we have all seen the jubilation and insults tendered when his statue was toppled such that it appears that some demonstrations do tend to get out of hand.

I am not a tree-hugging softie here. I fully support the execution. I'm content that it should have been carried out in Iraq by Iraqis. Where the Americans dropped the ball was in not making sure that the thing was properly carried out. 1 -2 - 3 click; all over. Now, I feel his whole arrest, detention and trial were debased by the manner of his death and the chaos that provided a incubator for the allegations we are now seeing.

OK - so where from here?

This article claims that there is almost universal acceptance that going to war in Iraq was a wrong decision. Blame is scattered about like chips at a birthday party.

But, hasn't it taken a long time for this opinion to surface? How long will it take to work out what has to be done with this misbegotten child - where is the plan for the future? President Bush is expected to make some fairly decisive announcement in the next week. I just hope that these decisions are not polluted by the 20/20 hindsight wizards "You got it wrong going in there. How do we know you are right now?"

I'd rather stick pins in my eyes

Is that a thong she has just pegged out?
Tone the Tourist has a nice set of man boobies. Doubtless, he will go on the lecture circuit in a nice little dark blue topless dress.

Please tell me

that this is not true!

I can accept teachers full enough of themselves to upgrade the incident but what on earth was in the mind of the police officer who handled the call? Did he not possess language robust enough to tell these people where to take their complain?

Mind you - if this 'weapon' is so effective, we could supply another battalion or so of front line troops just from the dregs that congregate in our larger cities at around closing time.

Due balance up the river

It is somehow comforting that in the times in which we now live, people can be found to unearth, ferret out, research and then publicise matters that I am sure are of no real relevance (or interest) to the great mass of the world's population. I've guested one such instance. Look in by all means but don't settle down for the long haul of reading it in it's entirity. I got near to terminal jaw ache from my yawning.

Still, I suppose the correspondents mother loves him?

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Amazon is amazing

!

First looks deceive

I mentioned my daughter doing a business trip to Dubai.
Here she is - soaking up a little bit of local colour.
The idea that women are all demure and sweetness and light when covered in this manner is now well destroyed.

Where are they now?

I sometimes wander off into the ether of the Internet in search of "Where are they now?". Not the main personality of a newsworthy incident but the lesser players.

This came to me through a blog I follow. Ms Lewinsky certainly went through the mill. To us on the small side of the pond, everything concentrated on Clinton and we seemed to know little of the woman in the case. The vagaries of the female mind when romance - or even just plain old sex - are inexplicable to most males but I did wonder what was to become of her. So, nice to see that she appears to have come out the other side of the cloud in her young life without too much of an apparent disaster. I never condemned her - the adage about it taking two to tango was in the front of my mind. The item I link makes me feel a little bit better about how the world works.

Leading a lazy life

Good job I'm not paid my pensions at so much a word that I write on here.

Do not know why but the Muse seems to have dried up. No problem. It will come back; see you all then.

Quick work

"THE hanging" was such a disgusting shambles that I had wanted to avoid it. However, I'm a sucker for conspiracy theories (not the subjects but the mechanics behind them that takes a few facts and knits them together to make something like a large mesh fishing net) and I see they have already started regarding old Soddem.

Modern safety devices

My car has seven air bags. Total all-around protection in the event of a crash.

Of course, that many is a bit over the top for some people?

Stir people up

Seems there is a whole lot of shouting going on about how and where the world started.

I'm staying out - except for this which strikes me as a clever advertisement

And I thought

I was the only miserable bstard blogging.

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http://barrybeelzebub.blogspot.com/2007/01/and-very-berry-christmas-to-you-all.html

Cheerer-upper

Never mind the smell of napalm on the morning air! Tea is brewed, bacon about to go into the pan and eggs just waiting to be cracked.
Not too long before we are back to the open air life in one or other of the wonderful outdoor spots we have here.

Get away

Right now, the wind is howling. It is coming here directly from Siberia. The rain is coming from the refrigerator by the temperature and if I were religious I'd be looking for the man who builds Arks.
So, I've printed this off and stuck it alongside the monitor. Not that a place such as this is on my holiday list - we stay in UK now we have the dog and flying has degenerated into something that is more akin to stuffing human beings into pig styes than anything else. No - this shot serves to remind me of when we used to live in places like this and a scene as depicted would have been our regular afternoon hang-out.
Happy happy days.

New ideas

Rather like this. Not quite sure what is being advertised - if anything - but Celine Dion as a sort of Madonna figure and Wallmart as hell somehow appeals to me.

Any last wishes?

Think I will take my life in my hands and put this up. Be nice now folks - no sending Mrs WTMW e-mails drawing it to her attention.

I've just repeated it to show what a leisured life we men used to lead.

Instructions to a wife.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.

2007 - Almost there

So. almost another year gone and I am still above ground. I guess that will have to be the Good News. I have never understood the drive to come up with a set of Resolutions at the start of a New Year. If something is a good idea or in need of implementation into one's life then it should be set in motion without awaiting a new season. There are many other new beginnings in a year; why not choose Spring to plant new ideas or ideals?
I suppose that I have always been lucky enough to be able to recognise the things I can achieve, differentiate them from those that I cannot and then leave that selection process alone. No point in tilting at windmills whose vanes are rusted in place. This property and attitude means that I can ignore much of what goes on outside my own immediate circle. The events in the wider world still interest me but neither inspire or demand that I actually do anything. I do reserve the right to be critical but doubt that I would respond to any call for les citoyen to storm the barricades. This must, in personal terms, be a Good Thing. The world is a totally fupducked and there are very many barricades that would have attracted me in previous years. This reticence (or acquired wisdom?) is something I find comforting and unpleasant in equal parts. I would dearly like to be part of that comradeship of combat but can get by with standing at the window shaking my Zimmer frame.
This life-style of mine seems to have been carried over into the genes of my children. They have encountered problems but attack these as challenges and do not see them as burdens. I hope they will always realise that a difficulty only becomes a problem if tolerated.
What would I ask for in the New Year? Leaving aside the obvious Peace On Earth of course. Has to be a selfish personal request. My Black Dog is incapacity - either mental or physical. I doubt that I'll be reciting Plato at 93 whilst engaged in pleasuring some young lady of 65 but that would be the ideal. I hope that what I have done with my medical notes and in other ways will ensure that I do not end up plugged into a 13 amp electrical outlet like a coffee machine. Please can I have the bed nearest to the cleaner's station.
That is about all I would really ask for.
As for anyone who has stayed the course and got this far. What about them? The answer has to be to hope that they all get whatever they might ask for. So - there you are; a free hand. But remember the other old adage, be careful what you ask for.

Big event - do not miss this

Just in case your boss refuses to give you time off for the Big Drop Day, make do with this.

Nice thing to know

When sudden disaster strikes, it is comforting if one knows what it is that has gone wrong. Believe me.

This old feller must be grateful he stuck to his work all those years ago when his work was being threatened by young girls with pony tails and jitter bug routines to set the blood racing.

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Physician - heal thyself

Be a good boy

My mum used to say when I was a small lad that if one complied with social conventions, no harm would result. This was just after she caught me 'writing' my name in the snow by peeing. However, that sort of thing was always reputed to have other associated angers - electrified fences for example. I was often tempted in the wilder parts of my hill-walking jaunts just to splash and dash on the sheep control fences. Maybe it was the story of this sort of thing?

Sabotage

Without going into the rights and wrongs, there is a large body of opposition here in UK regarding requirement that we all have ID cards allied to all sorts of gizmos such as iris recognition. So, may be an idea to think of a way to have a ID card but not have it identify you - know what I mean?

Thank you. You can go now

Sometimes, just sometimes, I think that the internet tells me more than I really wish to know thank you.

Hang 'em high

Gets more like a spaghetti Western every day! And, this is the administration that we think is the thing that will run the country keeping it stable enough for long enough for us to say "All Over" and run for the roof to get on the helicopter. Oh no - that was how the other place ended wasn't it?

Get serious - II

This follows on neatly from my last previous post.

Nuff said?

Get serious

Nice to see that we are really serious with this anti-terrorist thing.

The police side is that it is no offence to hold extremist views. We have - it seems - evidence from intercepts but cannot use it because of concerns about civil liberties.

And all this when the boss of the Met police has said that the threat level of a significant terrorist action is high and increasing daily.

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Not evil - just misguided

I've been robbed

I wrote an e-mail to a friend the other day in which I expressed my preference for Gingerbread Men as there was always “that little bit extra” Seems I am going to be denied that luxury now the p.c. police have struck. Surprised they were allowed to retain the description 'Ginger' which is sometimes used as an insult.

So near and yet so far

I had heard bits of the story of the family who got stuck in snow in America but only a very small bit. The husband decided after some days with his stranded vehicle to hike out and see if he could get help. His wife and kids stayed with the car. A cell-phone engineer's tip was not heeded for two days and a hotel refused to give credit-card and cell-phone information to police in the search for the missing California dad. It is chilling to think just what was going through the minds of the lost family in those last moments. Eventually, the mother and kids were found almost by accident but the father died from hypothermia just a very short distance from salvation. As a wanderer in the sandy deserts, I was instructed to stay with vehicle in the event of any problem and to set fire to the spare tyre so as to attract attention to myself. We always carried extra water. Who the heck would imagine that those sort of survival skills would be needed on a vacation journey in one of the most advanced countries of the world.

Wanted

I know I was supposed to be having a duvet day but this item (below) made me fall out of bed laughing so I'll let you have it while it's hot.

My main and first thought is how the heck the relevant police department will find a way to display an illustration of the stolen item in the Crime journal? And what about the future of the Turin Shroud Enterprises Inc if we get good DNA from any recovered item?

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Any useful leads to Madonna please

It's Holiday Time

Whether you are a Winterval person, a frantic Happy Christmas-er or attender of Midnight Mass

HAVE A GOOD BREAK

Hostilities are suspended until the whole thing is over and I feel safe to venture out from under the duvet.

Follow that star

I don't think it is blasphemy.

Different folks - different strokes

We here in Europe have to see things American through the media filters. The papers print what sells.

The US Marine Corps stand charged with employing soldiers responsible for a considerable number of civilian deaths at a place called Haditha. It has been presented as troops running riot following an attack upon them. My guest blog sets out to show just how difficult it is to get truth in such cases. Note especially the comments of the US contractor as to veracity of Iraqi witnesses. This has a resonance with me. We knew that it was very likely that a civilian "witness" would lie and did the extra digging to get to the truth.

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Another view of events at Haditha

Same hymn book, different page

I'm just listening to announcement that UN has imposed sanctions on Iran.

Seems that The Free World is convinced that Iran is developing a warlike use for atomic materials. Because of this, we are doing the sanctions boogie.

Doubtless the assessment of the threat came from intelligence sources.

Just like the info re Iraq and WMD and 45 minuties.

Look where that has got us.

Tony Blair

Brought to you by The Friday Thing.

TONY'S CHRISTMAS TOUR: PEACE OFF
=
The Prime Minister's announcement this week that he wants a
proper job after he leaves Number 10 was met with some approval.
'It's about bloody time,' was the sane person's response.
'Whatever I do afterwards, it has to have real purpose to it,'
said Tony of his retirement plans. If he'd only said that all
those years ago when he gave up being a lawyer to become a
politician, we might not be in the mess we are now.
Meanwhile the Blair Premiership continued on its meandering,
meaningless way, like an elderly, senile and incontinent tomcat
looking for somewhere to pass away with a scrap of dignity. The
Middle East was Tony's destination to sprinkle the seasonal magic
fairy dust of peace on earth and goodwill to all.
To be honest though, like Christopher Reeve's final and piss-poor
Superman movie, Blair's 'Quest for Peace' should have been
laughed out of town. (It certainly seems to have been largely
ignored.) Take his passive-aggressive attitude towards Iran, for
instance. Only a month ago he was saying 'a new partnership is
possible' with Iran. He said as much this week but then called
for an 'alliance of moderation' across the region to reign in
Iranian extremism. (Nothing to do with the Bush Administration
refusing to engage with Iran, it goes without saying.)
Just who the 'moderate' Middle Eastern members of this 'alliance'
are going to be isn't quite clear. Is it Turkey, who he visited
last Friday, with its refusal to acknowledge its genocide of the
Armenian population in 1915, its persecution of the Kurds and
where it's a crime to insult 'Turkishness'? How about Egypt,
where Blair was on Sunday and where he likes to holiday, that
likes to lock people up for criticising the government, beat pro-
democracy protesters and where torture by the security services
is widespread?
What about the United Arab Emirates, from where Tony gave his
'alliance of moderation' speech on Wednesday, with its hereditary
system of government, widespread abuse of migrant workers,
flogging as a punishment and censorship of the press? He clearly
didn't mean Palestine whose democratically elected government he
refuses to recognise. Er, Iraq? Some 'alliance of moderation'
this is shaping up to be. If this was Star Wars, Darth Vader
would have parked the Death Star and gone for a fag, safe in the
knowledge that the rebels were doing his job for him.
Meanwhile, in Iran - founder member of Blair's 'Arc of Extremism'
and not a venue on his 'Out With A Bang 2006' farewell tour -
democratically-held elections delivered victories for the
moderate and reformist parties and gave short-arsed gobshite and
Holocaust-denying president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a slap in the
chops. You have to laugh. Blair spends the week shaking the hands
of various blood-soaked princes, torturers and other anti-
democracy monsters in order to try and sort Iran out and all the
while it's working hard to do the job for itself. It's a funny
old world.
And Blair's world is shrinking. Yet, with fewer and fewer people
telling him what a great job he's doing and more and more queuing
up to tell him straight just what a blood and shit spattered
hellhole he's made of the place, he sails blithely on. He's
starting to look like Sam Lowry at the end of Terry Gilliam's
movie, Brazil: humming to himself in his self-concocted fantasy
world while horror and degradation still swirl around him.
While Tony was leading his charge across the sands of Arabia and
beyond, no less a figure than Iraq's vice president accused Blair
of having been 'brainwashed' by George Bush. And after all Tony's
done for Iraq as well - what an ungrateful bastard. According to
Tareq al-Hashemi, Blair apparently agreed with him on a timetable
for troop withdrawals only to change his mind after seeing Bush.
Well, Tony did say this week that 'when I first started in
politics, I wanted to please everyone, and you can't please
everyone'. They say that if you try to please everybody you end
up pleasing nobody. That said, it's difficult to think of anybody
Tony's pleased since arriving at his decision to stop trying to
please everybody. Anybody reading this who has recently been
pleased by Tony, can you get in touch - we'd like to have you
stuffed and put in a museum.
And then came the report from the Chatham House think tank which
said the Iraq war had been a 'disaster' and a 'debacle', and
Blair had made the 'mistake of offering unconditional support for
US initiatives in foreign policy'. Using a phrase that should be
carved on New Labour's tombstone, Foreign Secretary Margaret
Beckett described the report as 'threadbare, insubstantial and
just plain wrong'. We imagine she should know, working for a
Government that's produced more than a few dodgy dossiers its
time. '45 minutes from doom,' anybody?
The think tank, previously a respected and grand enough platform
for speeches by the likes of Gordon Brown, is now reduced to the
status of wrong-headed whiner for having the audacity to express
an informed opinion. Like so many others. Outgoing UN Secretary
General, Kofi Annan: he was against the war so MI6 bugged his
office. Weapons Inspector, David Kelly: told a reporter that the
'45 minute from doom' stuff was cobblers, was fed to the press by
the Government, killed himself. Foreign Secretary, Jack Straw:
said 'I don't see any circumstances in which military action
would be justified against Iran, full stop', was demoted. You can
see why so many people around Blair keep their traps shut, like
being a member of Frank Sinatra's famously toadying entourage,
one word out of place and the good times are over. Sometimes
unpleasantly.
Just why Blair thinks he's the man to bring peace to a region
whose various and complex troubles have foxed the world's
greatest thinkers for over four thousand years, and who he thinks
might be listening to him, is for minds more psychoanalytical
than ours to reason. After Iraq, his selling weapons to any mad
bastard with oil and a chequebook, and his cosying up with
torturers and dictators, it's like putting God - a dead-beat dad
if ever we saw one; knocking up some poor young girl at
Christmas, then disappearing into thin air - in charge of the
Child Support Agency.

- The Friday Thing

Hello Hello Hello What's all this then?

Police condemned over fruit caution. And they wonder why the respect for the forces of Laura Norder are at an all time low. Whatever happened to exercising discretion? This 'result' will figure in B'liar's statistics when he next needs to lie about how his strict new methods are cutting crime. And, in the background, a man wanted for murder walks past dressed as a woman.

Good will to all men

This is just a comedy blog - or is it? Comes from a member of that wonderful profession of lawyer.

MANDATORY HOLIDAY WEALTH TRANSFER PROGRAM 2006

To: Attorneys

Once again, we're all forced by social custom to help the less fortunate among us afford food and shelter for the holiday season. Below are some guidelines for holiday tipping. Just as we do regarding your bonuses, feel free to adjust based on your subjective evaluation of people's performance, whether or not it bears any resemblance to reality.

As previously explained in the memo titled SALARY SHARE CALCULATION FOR HOLIDAY BONUS PURPOSES (12/18/06), one "share" as listed below is equivalent to 0.01% of your salary plus bonus, before taxes. Thus, if your salary+bonus is $200K, one "share" for purposes of these guidelines would be $20. Your personal secretary: 10 shares Each secretary (up to 4) in your local secretary pool: 2-3 shares Secretary coordinator (the woman with the funny looking hats): 3-5 shares, if you have changed secretaries multiple times this calendar year and required her assistance. Any paralegals you work closely with: 10 shares Document pool workers you can identify by sight: 5 shares The pastry guy with the narrow eyes: 1 share The hirsute woman who cleans the offices: 2 shares or some leftover food The copy machine repairman with the bad breath: 1 share if he has been of service to you in the past year, otherwise you are better served avoiding him Creepy security guard: 3 shares Hiring partner: 10 shares, or a nice bottle of wine

You should try and refrain from handing your gifts out before Christmas Day, since we want to encourage attendance at work by you and also by the people in line to receive the gifts. If they stay home, they deserve whatever gift penalties they end up receiving. In addition, please give them checks instead of cash -- most of them do not have the self-control to save their cash until they get home and will spend it on drugs and beer instead. We want to try and avoid a repeat of last year's Secretary Rave on the 38th floor conference room. Best wishes for a billable holiday season

Innocence

Just look at her eyes and tell me how you can explain to her what is happening.

Merry Christmas - pah! humbug so far as she is concerned.

Would you buy a car .... Part II

Well, would you?

Comes from this lady but you might need to register if you go there.

Police work

The writer of the Guest blog is a serving police officer who fell foul of his Force's policy on blogging. He did not just curl up and die. He moderated some of his criticism of police methods and got top cover from a media publication

Good thing we did not lose him. This is just the latest in a number of good articles where he puts across the police view well.

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A police officer writes

DNR

This is back-up for the reason I carry a ID tag with "Do not resuscitate" instruction

TODAY'S GUEST BLOG
Do not resuscitate

Would you buy a used car from this man?

This is reproduction of an item in a national paper. In full as it may require registration.

Long time since we could say that an Englishman's word was his bond I know but this moron is dragging everything down to his bent level.

By Francis Elliott, Whitehall EditorPublished: 17 December 2006

Detectives investigating alleged corruption in BAe's dealings with Saudi Arabia believe that the probe was being bugged, The Independent on Sunday has been told. A source close to the investigation made the remarkable claim as Tony Blair's defence for stopping it on the grounds of national interest began to unravel.The head of the Serious Fraud Office (SFO) disputed the official claim that the investigation was unlikely to result in charges. Robert Wardle said he had a "different view" from Lord Goldsmith. The Attorney General told Parliament on Thursday that he had agreed to close the case after he had "obtained the views of the Prime Minister and the Foreign and Defence Secretaries" on the effect the probe was having on Anglo-Saudi relations.But in fact Tony Blair personally took charge of efforts to pressure the Attorney General to drop the probe.

He ordered supportive assessments from the Ministry of Defence and the Foreign Office. These were then presented to the head of the SFO and formed part of Lord Goldsmith's "public interest" justification for calling off the probe.The Prime Minister's determination to stop the SFO investigation has left the detectives working on the case furious. It was the fact that the probe was progressing well that caused its closure, they believe. Some 15 officers from the SFO have been working for more than three years on allegations that BAe bribed foreign officials. The investigation, led by assistant commissioner Helen Garlick, was about to take possession of banking documents in Berne, Switzerland.One senior figure who had been helping the SFO said the investigation's security had been repeatedly compromised. "I was told by detectives that the probe was being bugged. They had reached this conclusion because highly confidential information on the inquiry had been reaching outside parties."The claim will fuel suspicions over the forces brought to bear on the SFO to call off its investigation since BAe's chief executive, Mike Turner, was forced to deny claims the company had used a £60m slush fund to bribe Saudi officials.

The alleged fund arises out of the Al Yamamah contract secured by Margaret Thatcher. It is said to have earned BAe Systems, Britain's biggest defence firm, and its predecessor British Aerospace, £43bn over the past 20 years.Investigators were about to gain access to Swiss banking documents that, they believed, could have provided strong evidence of corruption. Last month Mr Turner said the Saudi government had halted commercial talks over the £10bn Eurofighter deal because of anger over the SFO inquiry. It is believed that the story was orchestrated by Lord Bell, who has run a PR campaign on behalf of the defence firm and the Saudi royal family.It was claimed scrapping the contract for 72 Typhoon fighters would threaten 50,000 jobs. But international law forbids countries from using commercial considerations to exempt firms from anti-corruption prosecutions.The exemption helps explain why Mr Blair ordered the preparation of a special Cabinet Office report, arguing that Britain's security was at stake.

Whitehall sources say Downing Street was keen that Des Browne, the Secretary of State for Defence, and Margaret Beckett, the Foreign Secretary, shared responsibility for the decision to scrap the inquiry. But they were only asked for tightly defined assessments of the effects of a downturn on defence and foreign relations.Yesterday Mr Blair said: "Our relationship with Saudi Arabia is vitally important for our country in terms of counter-terrorism, in terms of the broader Middle East, in terms of helping in respect of Israel and Palestine. That strategic interest comes first." He said the probe would have led to years of "ill feeling between us and a key partner and ally and probably to no purpose".Campaigners will decide tomorrow whether to mount a legal challenge.

The investigation, led by assistant commissioner Helen Garlick, was about to take possession of banking documents in Berne, Switzerland.One senior figure who had been helping the SFO said the investigation's security had been repeatedly compromised. "I was told by detectives that the probe was being bugged. They had reached this conclusion because highly confidential information on the inquiry had been reaching outside parties."The claim will fuel suspicions over the forces brought to bear on the SFO to call off its investigation since BAe's chief executive, Mike Turner, was forced to deny claims the company had used a £60m slush fund to bribe Saudi officials.

The alleged fund arises out of the Al Yamamah contract secured by Margaret Thatcher. It is said to have earned BAe Systems, Britain's biggest defence firm, and its predecessor British Aerospace, £43bn over the past 20 years.Investigators were about to gain access to Swiss banking documents that, they believed, could have provided strong evidence of corruption. Last month Mr Turner said the Saudi government had halted commercial talks over the £10bn Eurofighter deal because of anger over the SFO inquiry. It is believed that the story was orchestrated by Lord Bell, who has run a PR campaign on behalf of the defence firm and the Saudi royal family.It was claimed scrapping the contract for 72 Typhoon fighters would threaten 50,000 jobs. But international law forbids countries from using commercial considerations to exempt firms from anti-corruption prosecutions.The exemption helps explain why Mr Blair ordered the preparation of a special Cabinet Office report, arguing that Britain's security was at stake. Whitehall sources say Downing Street was keen that Des Browne, the Secretary of State for Defence, and Margaret Beckett, the Foreign Secretary, shared responsibility for the decision to scrap the inquiry. But they were only asked for tightly defined assessments of the effects of a downturn on defence and foreign relations.Yesterday Mr Blair said: "Our relationship with Saudi Arabia is vitally important for our country in terms of counter-terrorism, in terms of the broader Middle East, in terms of helping in respect of Israel and Palestine. That strategic interest comes first." He said the probe would have led to years of "ill feeling between us and a key partner and ally and probably to no purpose".Campaigners will decide tomorrow whether to mount a legal challenge. Source: The Independant

No to ID

After a considerable amount of huffing and puffing defending a new ID card scheme that would have cost billions, the gubmint has decided that we already have most of what we need allowing us to get the same result at far less cost. An example of the way they throw our money around is the disclosure that £35M has already been spent on IT consultants to get us to the aborting of the grandiose cock-up.

Sable

My lovely dog is an Internet star

The Man writes again

I make no apology for passing on what this man says. Not enough people get the benefit of his views.

TODAY'S GUEST BLOG
Uncle Fred says a mouthful. And, you should buy his books.

Tiny url

This is here as a Public Service. Clever little piece of kit.

Enter a long URL to make tiny:

How can we win?

One of the (few) benefits of the sort of media reporting we have now is its world wide spread. Events in far away lands get to us within a very short time. This ease and speed mean that we get to know of things that may have escaped us.

Even in some cases where the gubmint might prefer we do not get updated.

All that airport bother and vast expense seems to have been based upon dodgy intelligence.

All those qualities a leader should have - where are they?

Just further comment on how El Presidente rules his Empire.

Maybe I was right after all?

Mrs Welcome to MY world is a member of a quilting circle. They all get together twice a fortnight and have a good old gossip, drink tea and make quilts.

All ladies of a certain age. All very similar in outlook. Very closely bonded. As a self-imposed exercise I set about writing the tale of a quilters circle where the members were all lesbians and the craftwork was just a cover for their activities. I was quite pleased with it and a few trusted members were shown the finished item. There must have been a lightness of touch as it was well received.

I thought of it as just an exercise. However, as the Guest Blog may indicate, strange things can well be simmering under the surface of any like minded ladies who can use an innocent past time as a cover to what they really get up to

TODAY'S GUEST BLOG
As ye sew, so shall ye reap.

6th July 2007 - 50 years

Planning is in hand -
further updates to follow

Up up and away

There was a hot air balloon up over Berwick as we drove in today. It was a fine sunny day and with that almost endless landscape one gets up here. Fine and clear.

Reminded me of the sort of balloon I would have chosen if I had gone into the sport. This guy really had cloud-hopping capability even though he is just playing with the surface of the water. There was no drama in what he is doing here - everything was under control. He brought it down just enough to dip the end of a toe into the water and then he was up, up and away.

Super. Worth money. 

Kipling puts 6 tarts in a box

The current investigation into the seemingly-serial murders of prostitutes in Ipswich has suggested that the women now dead were working to sustain their heroin habits. I detect a little bit of fluffiness here but will leave that for now. What this 'new' knowledge has done is lead to calls for drug use to be legalised or regulated in some other way. Theory seem to be that if these unfortunate females did not have to sell their bodies to fund a £500 per day habit they would not have been so vulnerable.
I am a little bit cold on this theory. There are vast numbers of women who live in abject poverty who do not just say 'fu*k it, I'm going on the game'. They get by. Getting by may seem a poor target in sociology terms but I am here contrasting their position with the girls who decide the street is the answer. They have found a way to obtain £500 a day. Those who do not get exposure to the under-life that is vice or drugs over-emphasise just how degraded these women must be. The drive for the money overcomes the self-respect. We have no way of knowing that merely giving a woman the drugs she seems to crave will balance out the – to her – simple way of earning a large sum of money. They have no asset other than their raddled body. Their education is generally unfinished and there is no alternative employment. Easing the pressure to earn does not mean they will suddenly turn into hordes of Mother Teresas or Lady Dis. Knowing that she is sitting on a gold mine will not make it easy to sit at home surrounded by kids and empty Buckfast bottles whilst watching CSI Bangalore. They are quite capable of creating some other activity that requires regular injections of easily earned cash.
If we give heroin to working girls, it will not be long before other users seek to obtain what they will see as their democratic rights to freeby drugs. The latest figures I can find regarding drug use in UK suggests that it is really only a very small minority who indulge. The media headlines about a drug threat sell papers but do not convey the scale of the situation. There can be few other minority activities – about 2% - where we would spend such potentially vast sums to achieve no really guaranteed result. The homicides in Ipswich are already leading to a wider discussion regarding prostitution. Not before time but any such legislation changes should not be undertaken in a knee-jerk reaction. Some thought needs to be given to the pimps and other third-parties in the commercial sex industry. They are in it for the money and legalising drugs will do them no favours.

Microsh*t

Slashdot is asking for answers to the question "Why do people hate Micro$oft?"

I think Old William S. had it right long ago with 'Let me count the ways' but they sure do draw a lot of stick. My personal bitch is the habit that MS products seem to have where they change configuration overnight. I'll be working on something, save it and power down. Come back next day and my work is still there but has a completely changed layout or a foreign font has insinuated itself like a Vaselined garter snake.

I'm not geek enough - in fact, I'm totally non-geek but it does seem to me that their products seem to demand more disk space than similar products from another supplier. Firefox and Thunderbird are the main examples I can think of. I'm using Open Office to replace the MS Office suite and that seems a lot slimmer.

Whilst the opportunity to have a bitch is always appreciated, I cannot see Uncle Billy changing much.

Great day for news

Well, looks as if we can all sleep safe in our beds. It seems that what was possibly the biggest conspiracy theory of all time has crumpled down into dust. Diana, Princess of Wales was not murdered by Phil the Greek. As is the way with most such "seekings of the real truth", the report that she died as the result of a drunk chauffeur being allowed to get behind the wheel of her car is still disputed by Fayed.

This country used to be known for it's integrity in public and private matters. Successive governments have driven that ideal into the dirt. What must be the final nail in the coffin came yesterday when the gubmint bowed to blackmail from the Saudi authorities. We were investigating allegations of corruption in a massive, multi-billion, air defence contract with them. They knew what the result would be so they threw their Teddy into the corner and threatened trade sanctions if the inquiry continued. So, that is a few more detectives free to look into allegations that someone mocked a Muslim.

And here is a strange thing. On the day that these two events would grab the limited attention span of the average tabloid reader, B'liar gets interviewed on the honours for money allegations. Once again, Labour's spinners have had some success in covering dodgy dealings. Coincidence of course.

Were it not for the fact that I find a corn on the forehead unbecoming, I'd join the ranks of Islam. Even with things the way they are now, they have more honesty than the rats who claim to be our Government.

Old Big Mouth speaks yet again

B'liar is recommending a no-fly zone in Darfur.

LONDON (Reuters) - Britain would agree to a no-fly zone over Sudan's Darfur region as part of a U.N. sanctioned "Plan B" to halt violence and a humanitarian crisis in the African state, Prime Minister Tony Blair's spokesman said on Wednesday.

Blair's spokesman quoted comments made by him during a visit to Washington last week, in which the prime minister said the option of a no-fly zone to help the people of Darfur should be considered as part of possible sanctions against the Sudanese government if it did not agree to a U.N. peace plan.

In my ignorance, I had understood it was the Jangaweed gangs that were the main trouble. These used to be something like refugees from the set of some Few Dollars More-type movies set who have evolved into a sort of militia. Still mounted on camels or horseback they get around and do most of the damage. They get a better penetration and have time to stop and do a bit of rape before getting round to the arson and murder. Something the Sudanese aircraft cannot do. These are the forces that need to be eradicated.
Still, it is a further bit of posture politics by the master of smooth. As an old boss of mine used to say, “Any assistance short of actual help”

Some interesting comments from those who may have to get involved in his new game.

That settles it

The meeting in Iran for holacaust non-believers has attracted condemnation from B'Liar and the new boss of Germany.

She has said that it happened. That should stop the debate dead in it's tracks. The accused has confessed. From the horses mouth eh?

Sobbing in Saudi

Interesting insight - if correct - from Saudi where the media is rigidly controlled.

They jump on the bandwagon of the Baker report to go back to the dog's vomit that is Israel/Palestine and demand this be settled before much else.

One would have thought that with all the armed might they have that they would not worry about their co-religionists in Iraq but would go in and protect them.

Ah - but that would involve doing something rather more than standing on the sidelines. Given the dissent there appears to be in the Royal family, now is not a time to kick over the apple cart.

TODAY'S GUEST BLOG
Sulking in Saudi

Bit of stupidity

Don't normally take much notice of this sort of thing but, they do seem to have got it right!
I think I would have liked to be the cowboy?

Past Life Quiz In Your Past Life You Were One Of The Village People Find out your past life at Quizopolis.com

War as an art

Nice way to get a dig in on the Baker report re the (lack of) options for Iraq.

TODAY'S GUEST BLOG
Ancient Chinaman he say .......

Youth of today

I have only a couple of grandchildren in the teenage range. Going on the lack of criminal talent amongst my own children, I cannot see that this revelation will ever become personal to me.

Just how screwed up can kids get that footware matters?

TODAY'S GUEST BLOG
Boo Hoo Sob Sob

Hail & farewell

Well, seems someone liked him.

Imagination

Don't quite know what to think about this bit of a blog. That the writer has an imagination cannot be denied. Just offer it to you as an example of some of the weird stuff that is out there. Her other blogs show same sort of weirdly-connected mind. May be just too many electrical impulses?

From an American soldier in Iraq

Don't have a link for this - sorry.

All I would add is - OK, so this is the problem. It suggests what should be done. How will the New Thinking get into the main stream minds?

TODAY'S GUEST BLOG
The Ugly American (Advisor)

A Soldier's Story
by MAJOR BILL EDMONDS

For just a minute or two, step into my life. I am an American soldier in the Army Special Forces. I have just returned from a one-year tour of duty in Iraq, where I lived, shared meals, slept and fought beside my Iraqi counterpart as we battled insurgents in the center of a thousand-year-old city. I am a conflicted man, and I want you to read the story of that experience as I lived it. In the interest of security, I have omitted some identifying details, but every word is true.

Routine and Ritual

I wake in the cold and dark of each morning to the sound of a hundred different muezzins calling Muslim men and women to prayer. These calls reverberate five times per day throughout a city the size of San Francisco. Above this sound I also hear two American helicopters making their steady patrol over the rooftops of the city and the blaring horns of armored vehicles as they swerve through dense city traffic. As a combat adviser and interrogator, I find these contrasts very appropriate for the life that I now lead.

This morning, on the Iraqi base in which I live, I walk 100 feet from my bedroom to work and back again. These are the same 100 feet I will travel month after month for one year. During every trip I smile, put a hand to my heart, sometimes a hand to my head, and say to every passing Iraqi the religious and cultural words that are expected from a fellow human being. In Iraq, one cannot separate Islamic culture from the individual. They are intrinsically woven into the fabric of daily life, but for most Westerners, they seem abnormal. I sit in smoke-filled rooms and drink sugar-laden tea in small crystal glasses. I spray tobacco-scented air freshener, kiss cheeks three times or more, allow the Iraqi on the right to pass through the doorway first. I know never to inquire on the health of a wife or elder daughter. I even hold hands with other men.

I proclaim my submission to God and my relationship to reality by saying "God willing" when referring to any future event. I say "God bless you" every time someone takes a seat. I eat with my hands, standing up, taking food from communal bowls. I attend work meetings where socializing is always the first priority. I hear the expressions "upon my mustache" or "by my eyes" or "over my head"--signifying the most binding and heartfelt of oaths. One day, I ask an Iraqi friend how many relatives he has and he answers, "In the city, maybe a thousand."

I have slowly come to realize that in Islam, and in Iraq, every action is worship. Every single thing that a person does--not just prayer or the time spent in a mosque but every action--is in fact an act of veneration. So yes, many things are different here. Yet we all have become friends--good friends--in part because I am here; I honor them and their religion by going out of my way to show them respect. Not all Americans act this way.

Many Americans assume that if a person does not speak English, it implies a lack of intelligence or some mental simplicity. We usually speak up only when spoken to. We attend meetings to pass information in the most efficient ways possible; our goal is always to decrease time while not losing content. For most Americans, God is intensely personal and religious utterances are not considered appropriate in a group of strangers. Our society is established on the principle of separating religion from state. In America, tobacco is quickly becoming a social taboo, and most men do not hold hands. If we are the first to arrive at a door, we enter first. We go on dates to meet future spouses--this is a cultural activity that I try again and again to explain. Also, Americans are a pragmatic people. We calculate the merit of an action first by its utility. In Islam, such a philosophy is immoral, and this truth is clearly manifest in the current clash between the Muslim and the postmodern worlds. So yes, we are very different. Yet if I look closely, with eyes wide open, I see that we are in some ways very much alike.

I jogged this morning around the small Iraqi base where I live. It was 6:00 a.m. and mildly warm. I wore very revealing blue Nike running shorts with ankle socks while listening to Limp Bizkit on my iPod. I slowly passed a small group of Iraqis and they all just stared, unsmiling. As I came closer, with a huge smile spread across my face, I put my hand to my heart and said, "Peace be upon you all," (in Arabic of course) while gasping for air. They all, in unison,
completely changed and beamed smiles, waved, talked, gave me a thumbs-up and replied, "Peace be upon you."

Insurgents

On this small plot of land where I live, next to the Tigris River, in the very center of an Islamic metropolis, I help find and then interrogate terrorists alongside the Iraqi officer whom I advise and with whom I also live. We interrogate hundreds of suspected terrorists over many, many months. One of my responsibilities is to insure that prisoners are not abused. This I have done.

But for a year I have also been an observer of an immensely complicated situation. I am a soldier who fights alongside Iraqis, and I interact daily with and hear the words of Iraqi soldiers, civilians and insurgents alike. Through their eyes I see the strengths, foibles and faults of my military and culture.

Sometimes I wish for the return of my ignorance. If no one else can understand my distress, I hope other Americans who fought shoulder to shoulder with other cultures--the French, Filipino, the Nungs and Yards and tribesmen of Vietnam, Laos, Thailand and Cambodia--will understand.

From my seat in a dark basement room I understand that many of those who terrorize have always hated the Americans. But being Muslim is definitely not a predisposition for violence; quite the opposite for most Iraqis.

Why is it that many have slowly transformed over three years from happily liberated American supporters, to passive supporters of the insurgency, to active fighters of the American "occupation"? "I love Americans but hate your military," says a college professor turned insurgent. "Americans have come here because you want our oil and because of your support of Israel. You bring democracy, but the Iraqi pays the price." These were the first words I heard from a man I will call Ibrahim.

The Iraqi Army had captured him. He was angry, and for the first time he was sitting face to face with the American soldier whom he hates beyond reason. That was two weeks ago.

Yesterday, I put two red plastic chairs outside in the sun and spoke with him again. This time, I believe I am not the American soldier he has come to hate. This time I am "Mr. Bill," and it is now hard for him to hate me. I can see and sense his inner turmoil. For Ibrahim and for me, it is hard to hold on to the hate when the once-indistinct face becomes a real person. Later, he admits to having been deceived about the evil that is the American soldier. For two weeks I have spoken Arabic with him, started and ended every interaction with the required cultural and religious sayings, and demonstrated knowledge of his religion. For two weeks I have shown Ibrahim that I respect him as both an Iraqi and as a Muslim.

"It is how you act," he says, "and how we are treated that makes me fight. For many Iraqis this anger at you is just an excuse to kill for money or greed. But for most others, they truly feel they are doing what is right. But you give them this excuse; the American military gives them the excuse." So now terrorist leaders pretending to be pious Iraqis target this very common base anger, Iraqis fight and civilians raise their fists to salute the Holy Fighter.

"Two years ago I saw Abu Ghraib and what Americans did to women. I became an insurgent," whispers a man I call Kareem, another civilian turned insurgent.

"You come into our homes without separating the women and children, or asking the men politely if you may enter. Almost every hour of my life I hear some noise or see some sight of the American military. Soldiers talk with Iraqis only from behind a gun, from a position of power and not respect. Last week American soldiers got on a school bus and talked with all of the teenage girls. You had them take off their hijab so you could see their faces. You do not respect our women. This is the biggest of all problems of yours. You do not respect our women. How can we believe that Americans want to help when you do not even respect us or our faith?"

I later tell Kareem that these soldiers thought a person hiding a bomb was on the bus. This was obviously too little and too late. Perceptions are what count and word of American soldiers demanding to see the faces of Muslim women streamed from cellphone to cellphone across an entire city. Perhaps different from other past insurgencies fighting in different societies, within Iraq and over years, negative perceptions are what transform a citizen into an insurgency supporter and then into an insurgent. Now I drive throughout the crowded city alternating between shooting a machine gun and throwing Beanie-Babies to waving children. I think that at least the children are out in the streets and most are still waving. But even this hopeful sight is disappearing.

Last night the Iraqi Army captured Ibrahim's cell leader and brought the two together in the same small room. For Ibrahim, this was a very traumatic moment, for he saw that the pious Muslim man, whom he followed but had not met, was in fact a 27-year-old tattooed common criminal. Ibrahim began to weep when he realized he had been deceived. A greedy and immoral man who killed for money while pretending to be religious had skillfully manipulated Ibrahim's anger at Americans. Before Ibrahim was turned over to the Iraqi authorities, I saw him teaching soldiers to use their new office computer. He was helping them to type up his own written confession. But Ibrahim's transformation is an anomaly. Such a confluence of peaceful events does not often turn an insurgent away from the insurgency. Most insurgents continue to fight the hated American soldier whom they have never met. Their hope is that the American soldier will just go away.

Bursting Bubbles

I have slowly come to understand that if we are to succeed in Iraq, we must either change the way we perceive and treat those we want to help or we must disengage the great percentage of our military from the population. The Iraqi base where I now live was once a small American base. The anxiety and distress of American soldiers in years past are scratched in the ceiling over my bed.

"The mind is a terrible thing...," "keep a sharp look-out during your descent," "happiness is a temporary state of mind," "control is just an illusion" and "nothing is as it seems." Across the room, on another wall, next to another bed, are other words from another soldier.

They read, "My score in this War: Arabs=10, cars=10, houses=3."

American soldiers are angry and frustrated with Iraqis. Iraqis are angry and frustrated with Americans. Many Iraqis just want American soldiers to go away, and I struggle within myself not to agree. Day after day I observe the interactions of Americans with Iraqis and am often ashamed. I see that required classes given to all American soldiers on cultural sensitivity do not work; 100,000 or more American soldiers daily interacting, engaging and fighting Iraqis within their own society for more than three years will inevitably create a wellspring of citizen hostility. In this war, none of us can change who we fundamentally are.

American military culture interacts with Iraqi Islamic culture like a head-on collision. And massive deployments of American soldiers fighting a counterinsurgency now hurts more than it helps. When we focus on the military solution to resolve a social problem, we inevitably create more insurgents than we can capture or kill. As a consequence, real "Islamic terrorists" subverting their own tolerant religion will use this popular anger and sense of resentment to their advantage. As much as they hate and fear us, they also say that we cannot just leave the mess that we have made.

"I know the American military cannot now leave Iraq," says another captured insurgent whom I will call Muhammad. "If you did, we would all start fighting each other until one person killed enough enemies to come out on top. When I stop seeing your military shooting at civilians on our streets and I stop seeing Iraqi soldiers and policemen as your puppets, then I will stop fighting."

Muhammad may be naïve and living in a bubble of projected motivations and false perceptions. But his bubble burst when he was captured and plucked from an insular society. My own bubble burst when I was taken out of my society and put into Muhammad's. Military leaders tell us to "focus on training the Iraqi soldiers and policemen to fight, and do not fight the insurgency yourself." Yet if the citizen is angry with us, won't this anger just transfer to the very people we train and fight with? What if we are unintentionally assuring that the Iraqi soldiers and policemen will have someone to fight against if we leave?

The Iraqi civilian I speak with says that is so. In the eyes of many, there is now no difference between the American on patrol and the Iraqi policeman or soldier who is with the American on patrol. If the citizen believes that the American military is an "occupying power," won't he now perceive the Iraqi policeman or soldier as this occupier's puppet?

American soldiers do live within self-imposed bubbles of isolation. These are called American bases and are where the greatest percentage of soldiers live and never leave. These bubbles are far different from the universe of Muhammad and his colleagues. We know that Muhammad's beliefs about who we are and what motivates us are mostly false. His first perceptions are defined by culture and religion, careful words of terrorist leaders, and a thousand channels of satellite television beamed into the homes of almost every Iraqi. It is then our behavior that contributes to these negative perceptions. Our self-imposed isolation and the citizens' perceptions may be all that the insurgency needs to continue and be successful.

I have come to realize that we isolate our soldiers from the societies in which we operate. We airlift and sealift vacuum-sealed replicas of America to remote corners of the world; once there, we isolate ourselves from the very people we are trying to protect or win over. An Iraqi once told me, "How you treat us must be like how African-Americans felt."

If you're an American soldier in Iraq working as an adviser, ask yourself this:

Is the Iraqi I live and fight with not allowed to enter any American facility?

If you are a military adviser or training to be an adviser, look around where you eat:

Are the Americans on one side of the room and the Iraqis on the other?

Do you even eat with Iraqis?

Do you go out of your way to avoid eye contact and thus not greet the Iraqis you walk by?

Do you try to learn their language or follow their customs?

Do you habitually expect Iraqis to share intelligence and then not respond in kind?

Do you distrust them?

Last week I read an article in an American newspaper that described a very common scene. Getting ready to go on a mission with an Iraqi policeman, a young American soldier snaps at an Iraqi officer and says, "Get off the cellphone."

Then this same soldier turns to another American soldier and says, "He is probably warning a terrorist that we are coming." It may not be racism, only ignorance combined with frustration and paranoia, but to the Iraqi, it sure does feel like racism.

To play the role of a combat adviser--something American military personnel are increasingly asked to do--is to live within a foreign culture and to train and fight with a foreign military. Many American soldiers are not capable of such an important role or mission. The job is long, very difficult, and set within a very austere, hostile and unfamiliar environment. The adviser becomes culturally isolated and so requires a unique personality combined with extensive training; but most lack this expertise and inclination. It's a sink-or-swim job, and most candidates sink after only a few months. They then retreat inside the shells of themselves and soon become combat advisers who do not interact or even advise.

They thus form adviser teams that are dysfunctional and counterproductive. They exist until the day arrives when they can return home to a place that is familiar, where they are not hated.

The Tightrope

American soldiers now patrol the streets with extreme caution and quick reflexes. They have come to think that every Iraqi who runs a red light or does not yield is a terrorist. They shoot at or accidentally kill civilians, which then creates one more insurgent and three more insurgency supporters. I know this cause-and-effect explanation is simplistic for an immensely complicated situation, but you get the picture. I will never fault American soldiers for their actions and reactions; it really is dangerous out there, and no other nation could ever ask for such service and sacrifice from its citizens. Yet I also try not to fault Iraqi civilians, for their truth is just as valid to them
as is mine to me.

I have seen firsthand why I cannot create stability by force within an Islamic society and why many say democracy cannot be brought by force but must evolve.

To be a moral person in a protracted counterinsurgency is my daily struggle, one in which I am asked to instill social morality on a culture that is not my own.

So what is the balance between taking charge in Iraq and/or abandoning the country? Our best response is to pull the American soldiers back and push the Iraqi soldiers/policemen forward as quickly as possible. I feel the urgency of this mandate as I type these very words on this small Iraqi base among Iraqi soldiers. As I told Ibrahim, the captured insurgent, "I want to leave your country. The only reason I stay here is because Iraqis are dying and you insist
on fighting. All we want to do is to help."

I naturally assumed he understood this. Well, he had not, and most do not. This message is one that is lacking and one that Iraqis surely need. So I find myself balanced on a tightrope bridging a deathly height. As Iraqi intelligence officers once explained to me over hot tea, "It is a race to see which of many possibilities comes first; the competency of an Iraqi Security Force with a stable and competent government, or the formation of a monolithic and deadly insurgency or civil war, both of which would prevent the latter."

In Iraq, I wish to survive and to succeed. Yet as the days pass, my hopes increasingly become mutually exclusive: The insurgency gets more effective; the citizen anger at us and the Iraqi Security Force becomes greater; the fractions in the society grow deeper and more violent; the American public becomes more impatient as the war is perceived as less legitimate and the conditions to form a stable Iraqi government become more elusive.

So I run along this rope as if in a race to get away. I run knowing full well that my speed comes only at the sacrifice of my balance. I long for the tranquility of normalcy, the comfortable, the understandable, and so I want to run from Iraq. So what then can I do besides serve admirably and hope for the best while fearing the worst?

The Iraqi officer I advise once said after months of frantically working to capture terrorists, "You need to just relax. You are here, so there will always be another terrorist to capture. Sit and drink some tea with me."

I doubt he was intentionally being prophetic. As a soldier who lives with an Iraqi, I do hope to one day just sit and drink some tea with him. To sit and talk of family without a worry in the world. But to do so, I must do more than just train, advise and fight with my Iraqi friend. I must go out of my way every single day to disprove the "Ugly American" label that is attached to me. I must approach every personal interaction as a singular opportunity to battle the insurgency and then realize that my interactions with each and every Iraqi do have very lasting and very strategic consequences.

Where do we go from here?

I cling to the hope that sometime very soon, we will disentangle ourselves from the current armed conflicts and then come to realise that there are very few military methods capable of successfully dealing with internal disorder or internecine struggle. The daily slaughter in NI ended when both sides accepted there was no military solution, Cyprus and Aden may have been others and Iraq/Afghanistan look to be headed down the same route.
The United Nations is exposed as an expensive talking shop. Whilst there have been some successes where the UN has achieved some benefit, these are outweighed by those instances where UN has been exposed as a toothless watch-dog. Nations concentrate on their own interests and form alliances only as needed to achieve their own selfish aims.
The super-powers have lost much of their influence. The events around 9/11 seem to have been based upon Islamic disgust at American actions and influence. The UK has now reduced itself like a Gordon Ramsey sauce until our armed forces is classified as a defence force. Russia has sufficient problems with former USSR member states to keep them busy. China has a monster standing army but seems likely to achieve all they want to commercial means rather than military adventure. India and Pakistan will keep each other amused. The proliferation of nuclear weapons will, hopefully, lead people back to MAD which did work in the past.
So, what is the alternative? Swords into ploughshares has a nice sound to it. As it applies to UK, we might retain a small Army but the main military resources would be formed into a militia. The Army would ensure that the pure military techniques and skills would be ring-fenced against the sort of loss that might occur from the militia concept. Engineers would be employed to improve infrastructures at home and in what are now regarded as 3rd World countries. Logistics would be in support of the engineering effort in addition to the services needed by the standing Army. We have seen the benefits afforded by a disciplined force when introduced into natural disaster scenario.
I am not going to detail this redeployment of our armed forces. There is – I regret – sufficient fuzziness and (maybe) clouded thinking in what I have written but I am sure there are others who should be able to pick this up and run, walk or limp with it.
With the dreadful increase in our ability to guarantee death from military weapons and methods allied to fighting amongst the civil community, we sure as hell cannot carry on as we are doing right now.

Treated badly

Nice article in Sunday Times today. Well, not nice in content but nice in the points raised. Trouble I see is getting it into the self-satisfied brains of our politicians as they munch their way through the marmalade and toast en-route to the sports sections.

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