Saturday 23 December 2006

Same hymn book, different page

I'm just listening to announcement that UN has imposed sanctions on Iran.

Seems that The Free World is convinced that Iran is developing a warlike use for atomic materials. Because of this, we are doing the sanctions boogie.

Doubtless the assessment of the threat came from intelligence sources.

Just like the info re Iraq and WMD and 45 minuties.

Look where that has got us.

Tony Blair

Brought to you by The Friday Thing.

TONY'S CHRISTMAS TOUR: PEACE OFF
=
The Prime Minister's announcement this week that he wants a
proper job after he leaves Number 10 was met with some approval.
'It's about bloody time,' was the sane person's response.
'Whatever I do afterwards, it has to have real purpose to it,'
said Tony of his retirement plans. If he'd only said that all
those years ago when he gave up being a lawyer to become a
politician, we might not be in the mess we are now.
Meanwhile the Blair Premiership continued on its meandering,
meaningless way, like an elderly, senile and incontinent tomcat
looking for somewhere to pass away with a scrap of dignity. The
Middle East was Tony's destination to sprinkle the seasonal magic
fairy dust of peace on earth and goodwill to all.
To be honest though, like Christopher Reeve's final and piss-poor
Superman movie, Blair's 'Quest for Peace' should have been
laughed out of town. (It certainly seems to have been largely
ignored.) Take his passive-aggressive attitude towards Iran, for
instance. Only a month ago he was saying 'a new partnership is
possible' with Iran. He said as much this week but then called
for an 'alliance of moderation' across the region to reign in
Iranian extremism. (Nothing to do with the Bush Administration
refusing to engage with Iran, it goes without saying.)
Just who the 'moderate' Middle Eastern members of this 'alliance'
are going to be isn't quite clear. Is it Turkey, who he visited
last Friday, with its refusal to acknowledge its genocide of the
Armenian population in 1915, its persecution of the Kurds and
where it's a crime to insult 'Turkishness'? How about Egypt,
where Blair was on Sunday and where he likes to holiday, that
likes to lock people up for criticising the government, beat pro-
democracy protesters and where torture by the security services
is widespread?
What about the United Arab Emirates, from where Tony gave his
'alliance of moderation' speech on Wednesday, with its hereditary
system of government, widespread abuse of migrant workers,
flogging as a punishment and censorship of the press? He clearly
didn't mean Palestine whose democratically elected government he
refuses to recognise. Er, Iraq? Some 'alliance of moderation'
this is shaping up to be. If this was Star Wars, Darth Vader
would have parked the Death Star and gone for a fag, safe in the
knowledge that the rebels were doing his job for him.
Meanwhile, in Iran - founder member of Blair's 'Arc of Extremism'
and not a venue on his 'Out With A Bang 2006' farewell tour -
democratically-held elections delivered victories for the
moderate and reformist parties and gave short-arsed gobshite and
Holocaust-denying president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a slap in the
chops. You have to laugh. Blair spends the week shaking the hands
of various blood-soaked princes, torturers and other anti-
democracy monsters in order to try and sort Iran out and all the
while it's working hard to do the job for itself. It's a funny
old world.
And Blair's world is shrinking. Yet, with fewer and fewer people
telling him what a great job he's doing and more and more queuing
up to tell him straight just what a blood and shit spattered
hellhole he's made of the place, he sails blithely on. He's
starting to look like Sam Lowry at the end of Terry Gilliam's
movie, Brazil: humming to himself in his self-concocted fantasy
world while horror and degradation still swirl around him.
While Tony was leading his charge across the sands of Arabia and
beyond, no less a figure than Iraq's vice president accused Blair
of having been 'brainwashed' by George Bush. And after all Tony's
done for Iraq as well - what an ungrateful bastard. According to
Tareq al-Hashemi, Blair apparently agreed with him on a timetable
for troop withdrawals only to change his mind after seeing Bush.
Well, Tony did say this week that 'when I first started in
politics, I wanted to please everyone, and you can't please
everyone'. They say that if you try to please everybody you end
up pleasing nobody. That said, it's difficult to think of anybody
Tony's pleased since arriving at his decision to stop trying to
please everybody. Anybody reading this who has recently been
pleased by Tony, can you get in touch - we'd like to have you
stuffed and put in a museum.
And then came the report from the Chatham House think tank which
said the Iraq war had been a 'disaster' and a 'debacle', and
Blair had made the 'mistake of offering unconditional support for
US initiatives in foreign policy'. Using a phrase that should be
carved on New Labour's tombstone, Foreign Secretary Margaret
Beckett described the report as 'threadbare, insubstantial and
just plain wrong'. We imagine she should know, working for a
Government that's produced more than a few dodgy dossiers its
time. '45 minutes from doom,' anybody?
The think tank, previously a respected and grand enough platform
for speeches by the likes of Gordon Brown, is now reduced to the
status of wrong-headed whiner for having the audacity to express
an informed opinion. Like so many others. Outgoing UN Secretary
General, Kofi Annan: he was against the war so MI6 bugged his
office. Weapons Inspector, David Kelly: told a reporter that the
'45 minute from doom' stuff was cobblers, was fed to the press by
the Government, killed himself. Foreign Secretary, Jack Straw:
said 'I don't see any circumstances in which military action
would be justified against Iran, full stop', was demoted. You can
see why so many people around Blair keep their traps shut, like
being a member of Frank Sinatra's famously toadying entourage,
one word out of place and the good times are over. Sometimes
unpleasantly.
Just why Blair thinks he's the man to bring peace to a region
whose various and complex troubles have foxed the world's
greatest thinkers for over four thousand years, and who he thinks
might be listening to him, is for minds more psychoanalytical
than ours to reason. After Iraq, his selling weapons to any mad
bastard with oil and a chequebook, and his cosying up with
torturers and dictators, it's like putting God - a dead-beat dad
if ever we saw one; knocking up some poor young girl at
Christmas, then disappearing into thin air - in charge of the
Child Support Agency.


- The Friday Thing


Hello Hello Hello What's all this then?

Police condemned over fruit caution. And they wonder why the respect for the forces of Laura Norder are at an all time low. Whatever happened to exercising discretion? This 'result' will figure in B'liar's statistics when he next needs to lie about how his strict new methods are cutting crime. And, in the background, a man wanted for murder walks past dressed as a woman.

Friday 22 December 2006

Good will to all men

This is just a comedy blog - or is it? Comes from a member of that wonderful profession of lawyer.

MANDATORY HOLIDAY WEALTH TRANSFER PROGRAM 2006

To: Attorneys

Once again, we're all forced by social custom to help the less fortunate among us afford food and shelter for the holiday season. Below are some guidelines for holiday tipping. Just as we do regarding your bonuses, feel free to adjust based on your subjective evaluation of people's performance, whether or not it bears any resemblance to reality.

As previously explained in the memo titled SALARY SHARE CALCULATION FOR HOLIDAY BONUS PURPOSES (12/18/06), one "share" as listed below is equivalent to 0.01% of your salary plus bonus, before taxes. Thus, if your salary+bonus is $200K, one "share" for purposes of these guidelines would be $20. Your personal secretary: 10 shares Each secretary (up to 4) in your local secretary pool: 2-3 shares Secretary coordinator (the woman with the funny looking hats): 3-5 shares, if you have changed secretaries multiple times this calendar year and required her assistance. Any paralegals you work closely with: 10 shares Document pool workers you can identify by sight: 5 shares The pastry guy with the narrow eyes: 1 share The hirsute woman who cleans the offices: 2 shares or some leftover food The copy machine repairman with the bad breath: 1 share if he has been of service to you in the past year, otherwise you are better served avoiding him Creepy security guard: 3 shares Hiring partner: 10 shares, or a nice bottle of wine

You should try and refrain from handing your gifts out before Christmas Day, since we want to encourage attendance at work by you and also by the people in line to receive the gifts. If they stay home, they deserve whatever gift penalties they end up receiving. In addition, please give them checks instead of cash -- most of them do not have the self-control to save their cash until they get home and will spend it on drugs and beer instead. We want to try and avoid a repeat of last year's Secretary Rave on the 38th floor conference room. Best wishes for a billable holiday season


Innocence


Just look at her eyes and tell me how you can explain to her what is happening.

Merry Christmas - pah! humbug so far as she is concerned.


Wednesday 20 December 2006

Would you buy a car .... Part II

Well, would you?

Comes from this lady but you might need to register if you go there.

Police work

The writer of the Guest blog is a serving police officer who fell foul of his Force's policy on blogging. He did not just curl up and die. He moderated some of his criticism of police methods and got top cover from a media publication

Good thing we did not lose him. This is just the latest in a number of good articles where he puts across the police view well.

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TODAY'S GUEST BLOG

A police officer writes

DNR

This is back-up for the reason I carry a ID tag with "Do not resuscitate" instruction

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TODAY'S GUEST BLOG
Do not resuscitate

Would you buy a used car from this man?

This is reproduction of an item in a national paper. In full as it may require registration.

Long time since we could say that an Englishman's word was his bond I know but this moron is dragging everything down to his bent level.

By Francis Elliott, Whitehall EditorPublished: 17 December 2006

Detectives investigating alleged corruption in BAe's dealings with Saudi Arabia believe that the probe was being bugged, The Independent on Sunday has been told. A source close to the investigation made the remarkable claim as Tony Blair's defence for stopping it on the grounds of national interest began to unravel.The head of the Serious Fraud Office (SFO) disputed the official claim that the investigation was unlikely to result in charges. Robert Wardle said he had a "different view" from Lord Goldsmith. The Attorney General told Parliament on Thursday that he had agreed to close the case after he had "obtained the views of the Prime Minister and the Foreign and Defence Secretaries" on the effect the probe was having on Anglo-Saudi relations.But in fact Tony Blair personally took charge of efforts to pressure the Attorney General to drop the probe.

He ordered supportive assessments from the Ministry of Defence and the Foreign Office. These were then presented to the head of the SFO and formed part of Lord Goldsmith's "public interest" justification for calling off the probe.The Prime Minister's determination to stop the SFO investigation has left the detectives working on the case furious. It was the fact that the probe was progressing well that caused its closure, they believe. Some 15 officers from the SFO have been working for more than three years on allegations that BAe bribed foreign officials. The investigation, led by assistant commissioner Helen Garlick, was about to take possession of banking documents in Berne, Switzerland.One senior figure who had been helping the SFO said the investigation's security had been repeatedly compromised. "I was told by detectives that the probe was being bugged. They had reached this conclusion because highly confidential information on the inquiry had been reaching outside parties."The claim will fuel suspicions over the forces brought to bear on the SFO to call off its investigation since BAe's chief executive, Mike Turner, was forced to deny claims the company had used a £60m slush fund to bribe Saudi officials.

The alleged fund arises out of the Al Yamamah contract secured by Margaret Thatcher. It is said to have earned BAe Systems, Britain's biggest defence firm, and its predecessor British Aerospace, £43bn over the past 20 years.Investigators were about to gain access to Swiss banking documents that, they believed, could have provided strong evidence of corruption. Last month Mr Turner said the Saudi government had halted commercial talks over the £10bn Eurofighter deal because of anger over the SFO inquiry. It is believed that the story was orchestrated by Lord Bell, who has run a PR campaign on behalf of the defence firm and the Saudi royal family.It was claimed scrapping the contract for 72 Typhoon fighters would threaten 50,000 jobs. But international law forbids countries from using commercial considerations to exempt firms from anti-corruption prosecutions.The exemption helps explain why Mr Blair ordered the preparation of a special Cabinet Office report, arguing that Britain's security was at stake.

Whitehall sources say Downing Street was keen that Des Browne, the Secretary of State for Defence, and Margaret Beckett, the Foreign Secretary, shared responsibility for the decision to scrap the inquiry. But they were only asked for tightly defined assessments of the effects of a downturn on defence and foreign relations.Yesterday Mr Blair said: "Our relationship with Saudi Arabia is vitally important for our country in terms of counter-terrorism, in terms of the broader Middle East, in terms of helping in respect of Israel and Palestine. That strategic interest comes first." He said the probe would have led to years of "ill feeling between us and a key partner and ally and probably to no purpose".Campaigners will decide tomorrow whether to mount a legal challenge.

The investigation, led by assistant commissioner Helen Garlick, was about to take possession of banking documents in Berne, Switzerland.One senior figure who had been helping the SFO said the investigation's security had been repeatedly compromised. "I was told by detectives that the probe was being bugged. They had reached this conclusion because highly confidential information on the inquiry had been reaching outside parties."The claim will fuel suspicions over the forces brought to bear on the SFO to call off its investigation since BAe's chief executive, Mike Turner, was forced to deny claims the company had used a £60m slush fund to bribe Saudi officials.

The alleged fund arises out of the Al Yamamah contract secured by Margaret Thatcher. It is said to have earned BAe Systems, Britain's biggest defence firm, and its predecessor British Aerospace, £43bn over the past 20 years.Investigators were about to gain access to Swiss banking documents that, they believed, could have provided strong evidence of corruption. Last month Mr Turner said the Saudi government had halted commercial talks over the £10bn Eurofighter deal because of anger over the SFO inquiry. It is believed that the story was orchestrated by Lord Bell, who has run a PR campaign on behalf of the defence firm and the Saudi royal family.It was claimed scrapping the contract for 72 Typhoon fighters would threaten 50,000 jobs. But international law forbids countries from using commercial considerations to exempt firms from anti-corruption prosecutions.The exemption helps explain why Mr Blair ordered the preparation of a special Cabinet Office report, arguing that Britain's security was at stake. Whitehall sources say Downing Street was keen that Des Browne, the Secretary of State for Defence, and Margaret Beckett, the Foreign Secretary, shared responsibility for the decision to scrap the inquiry. But they were only asked for tightly defined assessments of the effects of a downturn on defence and foreign relations.Yesterday Mr Blair said: "Our relationship with Saudi Arabia is vitally important for our country in terms of counter-terrorism, in terms of the broader Middle East, in terms of helping in respect of Israel and Palestine. That strategic interest comes first." He said the probe would have led to years of "ill feeling between us and a key partner and ally and probably to no purpose".Campaigners will decide tomorrow whether to mount a legal challenge. Source: The Independant

Tuesday 19 December 2006

No to ID

After a considerable amount of huffing and puffing defending a new ID card scheme that would have cost billions, the gubmint has decided that we already have most of what we need allowing us to get the same result at far less cost. An example of the way they throw our money around is the disclosure that £35M has already been spent on IT consultants to get us to the aborting of the grandiose cock-up.

Monday 18 December 2006

Sable

My lovely dog is an Internet star

The Man writes again

I make no apology for passing on what this man says. Not enough people get the benefit of his views.

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TODAY'S GUEST BLOG
Uncle Fred says a mouthful. And, you should buy his books.

Sunday 17 December 2006

Tiny url

This is here as a Public Service. Clever little piece of kit.

Enter a long URL to make tiny:



How can we win?

One of the (few) benefits of the sort of media reporting we have now is its world wide spread. Events in far away lands get to us within a very short time. This ease and speed mean that we get to know of things that may have escaped us.

Even in some cases where the gubmint might prefer we do not get updated.

All that airport bother and vast expense seems to have been based upon dodgy intelligence.

All those qualities a leader should have - where are they?

Just further comment on how El Presidente rules his Empire.

Maybe I was right after all?

Mrs Welcome to MY world is a member of a quilting circle. They all get together twice a fortnight and have a good old gossip, drink tea and make quilts.

All ladies of a certain age. All very similar in outlook. Very closely bonded. As a self-imposed exercise I set about writing the tale of a quilters circle where the members were all lesbians and the craftwork was just a cover for their activities. I was quite pleased with it and a few trusted members were shown the finished item. There must have been a lightness of touch as it was well received.

I thought of it as just an exercise. However, as the Guest Blog may indicate, strange things can well be simmering under the surface of any like minded ladies who can use an innocent past time as a cover to what they really get up to

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As ye sew, so shall ye reap.

6th July 2007 - 50 years


Planning is in hand -
further updates to follow
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Up up and away

There was a hot air balloon up over Berwick as we drove in today. It was a fine sunny day and with that almost endless landscape one gets up here. Fine and clear.

Reminded me of the sort of balloon I would have chosen if I had gone into the sport. This guy really had cloud-hopping capability even though he is just playing with the surface of the water. There was no drama in what he is doing here - everything was under control. He brought it down just enough to dip the end of a toe into the water and then he was up, up and away.

Super. Worth money. Posted by Picasa

Kipling puts 6 tarts in a box


The current investigation into the seemingly-serial murders of prostitutes in Ipswich has suggested that the women now dead were working to sustain their heroin habits. I detect a little bit of fluffiness here but will leave that for now. What this 'new' knowledge has done is lead to calls for drug use to be legalised or regulated in some other way. Theory seem to be that if these unfortunate females did not have to sell their bodies to fund a £500 per day habit they would not have been so vulnerable.
I am a little bit cold on this theory. There are vast numbers of women who live in abject poverty who do not just say 'fu*k it, I'm going on the game'. They get by. Getting by may seem a poor target in sociology terms but I am here contrasting their position with the girls who decide the street is the answer. They have found a way to obtain £500 a day. Those who do not get exposure to the under-life that is vice or drugs over-emphasise just how degraded these women must be. The drive for the money overcomes the self-respect. We have no way of knowing that merely giving a woman the drugs she seems to crave will balance out the – to her – simple way of earning a large sum of money. They have no asset other than their raddled body. Their education is generally unfinished and there is no alternative employment. Easing the pressure to earn does not mean they will suddenly turn into hordes of Mother Teresas or Lady Dis. Knowing that she is sitting on a gold mine will not make it easy to sit at home surrounded by kids and empty Buckfast bottles whilst watching CSI Bangalore. They are quite capable of creating some other activity that requires regular injections of easily earned cash.
If we give heroin to working girls, it will not be long before other users seek to obtain what they will see as their democratic rights to freeby drugs. The latest figures I can find regarding drug use in UK suggests that it is really only a very small minority who indulge. The media headlines about a drug threat sell papers but do not convey the scale of the situation. There can be few other minority activities – about 2% - where we would spend such potentially vast sums to achieve no really guaranteed result. The homicides in Ipswich are already leading to a wider discussion regarding prostitution. Not before time but any such legislation changes should not be undertaken in a knee-jerk reaction. Some thought needs to be given to the pimps and other third-parties in the commercial sex industry. They are in it for the money and legalising drugs will do them no favours.