Saturday, 25 June 2005

Are they remote controlled?

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My normal reaction to ladies who have had enhancement carried out is to wonder why? I can quite understand that it is their body and they may do with it as they will. Just what is it that causes them to think that anything so - um - overblown makes them attractive? Here, I would be concerned about the obvious strain on her shoulders. The practicalities of such a body must be limited. One of my most early girlfriends was very well built and it was almost impossible to touch anywhere above her knees without coming into contact with her chest. Way back then, this qualified for a hearty thump and I had a truly Mohammed Ali-type ability to ride with the punch. I think this lady looks deformed - much that my opinion would bother her!
Since my own re-modeling, the addition of a counter has been eye-opening (to continue a theme). I now have the ability to see from where people have connected. Unless something is wrong, I see that I have been connected to someone from Turkeistan. This conjures up all sorts of images. I'm sure it is some sort of adverse propoganda but I see that part of the world as rather grim and industrial or very wild and barren country. The thought that something here caused someone from there to connect with the sort of drivel I manage, is fearsome. Good luck to you whomsoever you may be!

Friday, 24 June 2005

Practically funny

A young boy went up to his father and asked him "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"The father thought for a moment, then answered "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with brad pitt for a million dollars then ask your brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you have learned."So the boy went to his mother and asked "Would you sleep with RobertRedford for a million dollars?" the mother replied, "Of course I would! I wouldn't pass up on an opportunity like that!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied "Oh my god! I would just love to do that! you would be nuts to pass up that chance!" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?" "Of Course!" The brother replied. "Do you know how much stuff a million dollars could buy?" The boy pondered for a few days then went back to his dad. His father asked him "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied "Yes sir. Potentially we are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we are living with two slu*s and a p0of."

A mad mad mad world

Today, I finished reading what might laughingly be called the ‘news’ in my daily Torygraph but was feeling too idle to get up and be-doing something or other. My eye was caught by a phrase on the Kindred Spirits section of the page. This is a lonely hearts-type thing. Women looking for men, men looking for women and, shock horror, even men looking for men. There is a further section headed Friendship which I assume is for those of the Sapphic persuasion. I’ve never paid any attention to these items before – and don’t suppose I will ever again – but they paint colourful images on my mind which, I freely admit, is some way from driven snow.

Thus, we get things like “Are you a vivacious lady of any race who enjoys wearing strappy high heels?” So, much not doubt what is wanted there then and I don’t suppose that it would be a lasting relationship. Once you have seen one strappy high heel, you’ve seen them all surely. Another caught my eye thus “Rough diamond. 60, gsoh, adaptable, caring n/s seeks friendly tactile older female for home life in SE Sussex” This translates to me as an irritable old sod looking for a housekeeper who will occasionally lay hands upon him. He has low aspirations as suggested by his being ‘adaptable’

There seems to be a pronounced desire amongst the lonely females for males who are ‘tactile’ or who enjoy ‘cuddles’. There are some where they want someone 65+ and also has to be athletic. That’s him into an early grave from over-indulgence then. Some seek to attract attention by painful honesty such as “Grumpy old woman, still working, tall, grey-blonde, drop-dead and wrinkly wltm tallish grumpy funny old man for walking, picnics, fine dining and fun” What happens when the grumpy coincides with a one in four incline, boggy track in a force nine downpour where the picnic basket has been left in the car? No fun or fine dining there then?

I’ll not go too far into the men on men styles – there might be something there that turns my homophobic into homoerotic. I cannot but help noticing a number of stated preferences that the partner sought be military, ex-military, Royal Navy. That guy is missing a trick – what he really needs is a Royal Marine. They are very tactile, athletic, like cuddles and would have no problems with a grumpy attitude.

Wednesday, 22 June 2005

Weapon fires short while then stops again

I've reproduced this rather than link to it. It comes from a gun-control site and I do not intend to bolster their ideas but I like the sound of this as a good week-end's sport.

Machine-gun fiesta: "It sounded more like what would be heard around the war zones of Baghdad or Mosul in Iraq rather than rural Wyandotte. On Saturday, more than 200 avid machine gun enthusiasts from around the nation gathered for the fourth annual Oklahoma Full Auto Shoot and Trade Show -- and brought with them a full arsenal of fully-automatic weapons. Featuring everything from mini-guns to MG-42s to AR-50s to Quad 50s, the auto shoot drew crowds of nearly 1,500 spectators who, setting up lawn chairs in the shade, sat back and watched the bullets fly. Positioned under a long line of tents atop a ridge, the shooters fired down into an assortment of targets including cars, trucks, buses, washing machines and even a small airplane. Explosions resounded throughout the hills as hot lead tore through car metal and set off "fuel bombs" that were placed in some of the vehicles. "It just keeps getting better and better every year," smiled Mike Friend, owner of "The Firing Line" and co-organizer of the event. "People that own stuff like this need a place to shoot and we feel like we've got a good, safe place for them to do that." Co-organizer DeWayne Convirs, who owns both "The Bunker" army surplus store and the land used for the auto shoot, said the number of people who want to come out and watch the machine guns blaze gets bigger every time. "This is twice the attendance we saw last year," Convirs remarked."
Sounds like good form of stress relief to me.

Various things have been causing me to reflect upon my age; don't worry - this is not depression related. No one can deny that age makes its presence known in many ways. I was even aware of this at about thirty when I thought 45 was unattainable. So, it was entertaining to read this comment on how to survive the matter.

Oh, by the way, if you are looking for something about The Black Dog, then this lady seems to have cracked it. More power to her elbow.

Naturally the common people don't want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country. This was said by Hermann Goering. Seems to fit in with a lot of the things that are going on now or since 9/11.

Sin and the law

I was often amused when reading about Cardinal Sin who died a little while ago. It was rather a schoolboy sense of humour and I used to try and fit him and his title into little stories. I have to admit that the one that appears in ‘Off Topic' here is better than any I ever achieved.
The Government has gone off on another of its poorly thought out hobby-horses regarding racial matters. I spend time reading blogs by police and legal bods and they are universal in criticitism of the speed and manner in which new legislation is drafted and introduced. This rush-to-justice almost invariably fails to take account of existing law and the new stuff clashes badly. All money for my learned friends of course.
I was talking on the phone to a store in London about something small and shiny. The sales guy had a very broad Scots accent. When time came to do the order I gave him the addess. "Duns - where is that?" he asked. I pointed out that it was funny that I, an almost-Cockney calling from Scotland, had to tell a Jock in London where a place was in Scotland. Not too dour obviously as he saw the joke.
Having struggled with setting up the satnav stuff, I took it with me when we did this morning's walk at Berwick beach and 'told' it to bring me home. We had to drop Norma off en-route and then continue into Berwick. The woman who gives directions spotted we were off course and started her diversion mode. She kept saying 'turn right', 'turn left' or 'do a U turn' I persistently disobeyed her. Any minute, I expected her to go into PMT mode and blow up 'what's the matter with you today? Can you do nothing right?' When we got to the beach the road ended and all that was in front of her was sand and the North Sea so I wondered what she would say about that. However, as we had stopped she was silent.
I have been thinking about how I might present myself as less hideous on the trip to Germany. Maybe a change of image such as this?

Tuesday, 21 June 2005

Good dogs

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My entry about war dogs made me remember this. I cannot now remember from whence it came. They look really angelic but I'd stand with my back to the escape hatch before I said anything like "Dinners - leave"

Dogs life

Here is a good example of an ordinary policeman's interaction with police dogs. The Military Police method of using dogs differed slightly from the way the regular police dog works. For a start, they were designated as attack dogs and that is exactly what they did. Attack. Not for them the genteel grasping of an arm. They did a full-on assault and were not in any way fussy how they did this. Indeed, they didn't too much care who they attacked. Anyone running was fair game. If they felt a bit grouchy and no one was running, they'd see who they could scare into running. One way to ensure that everyone left a training grouind at the end of the session was to shout "Dog loose". Sales of Ex-lax fell alarmingly.
As someone with an interest in dogs, I used to spend time with the dog handlers. Inevitably, I got dragged into the training sessions as a quarry. Because they are indiscriminate as to what they grasp, it was necessary to wear a full padded suit. This covers, supposedly, the whole body from a built-in mask like a fencer wears down to bootees. Hot and cumbersome. I was able to withstand one dog attacks - almost - but stood no chance if two 90 pounders came at me. This was deemed to be such a laugh that I got roped into demonstrations. One night I was doing my best to struggle free when I felt a dog's nose right in my groin. Dog's noses are immediately adjacent to their teeth! This mutt had managed to worm his way under the jacket and into the trousers. What was happening was immediately clear to everyone - including the handlers. They decided to milk the display and encouraged the dogs to more frenzied attacks. I got away without anything more than an almightly scare but that was my last night in a suit.

Monday, 20 June 2005

2+2 = 5

I suppose this is the origin of the phrase "A Blonde Moment"
That concludes the case for the prosecution Your Honour.

Thought for the day

I've Heard it all, I've seen it all, I've Done it all, i just don't remember any of it.

Things you see when you haven't got a gun

Hot or not?
I fully accept that pregnancy is a natural condition and those in such a situation cannot be expected to stay indoors for the full nine months but I today saw a woman in Berwick even more extreme that either of these two. She looked as though she were 12 months pregnant and, other than her bump, was almost anoxeric. She was still able to get into her courting-days outfit of very low-slung jeans and shorty top with junior jutting out like the sort of rubber ring one might see in a kids paddling pool.
I seem to remember that some while back, the advertising standards agency criticised one of our more meaty models who was shown on roadside hoardings and had it removed as being a danger to passing drivers. The girl I saw today constituted the same sort of risk.
Something else to blame on the hot weather - or is this comment something else to blame on my being a miserable old s*d?

Another hot place

This is on the way into Monument Valley from Arizona side. About 110 degrees but very low humidity. Even Norma managed to stand the heat. Great trip - all my John Wayne tendencies came out here. Oh yes! I guarantee not to show my 250 or so shots of the Grand Canyon from my first viewing. When we went back the second time, I locked the camera in the glove box.

Ain't half hot Mum

The warm weather of the week-end will doubtless be described as a "killer heatwave" in the media. I thought I'd have a look through my scrapbook for some really hot weather. This was Bahrain fish-market in, about, 1966. Temperature would have been somewhere about 105 degrees with something like 99% humidity. This temperature would have gone higher as it got to 3 or 4 p.m. There was quite a bit of air-conditioning but most of our time was spent in the open air - down at the beach in the afternoon luckily. There was a system with the military where when it was deemed too hot, a Jolly Roger was hoisted and all military activities were suspended. There was very little temperature drop at night as everything was full of retained heat. Our flat had air-conditioning in the bedrooms. The electrical distribution was frequently overloaded and the conditioning units ceased to blow cold. Many Europeans failed to get adjusted to the heat and humidity but we were OK. We found that one of the solutions was to over-fill with water at breakfast and then again at lunch. This was far better than trying to re-hydrate during the day. Still, we lived through it.

Quite pleased with this image after nearly 40 years but then, it was a Leica that caught it.

Sunday, 19 June 2005

Official - sun is here!!

Only a male intellect clouded by the sexual drive could call the stunted, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped and short-legged sex the fair sex. Arthur Schopenhauer

Yes, well, that kind of surprised me. I had always thought of old Arthur as a bit of a sober sides and not given to such thoughts. I had to labour through his ideas about the human Will when I was doing my OU sociology thing. Looking back with the benefit of this, I can see that he had some sort of fixation. Suppose it was something along the lines of the way some men attribute a life and separate existence to their penis where they end up discussing things with Mr. Willy.

With the warm and humid weather we have had this weekend, I ventured out today in my shorts. Me and dog wandered up to New Craighall by way of various streams and the sea. Sharing chicken sandwiches at Longniddery I noticed that my legs looked like over-cooked spaghetti. Back in the days before we moved up here, I had had enough exposure to get them something like a Madjeorka ten-day holiday tan. Looks as if I’ll have to get along to the vertical tanners – that Killjoy Slink orange is soo attractive and soo now.

I had a blogging life before I came to blogspot. Anyone who wishes to read those burblings can find them here.