Tuesday 14 February 2006

Great (?) Britain

Our politicians, Labour, Conservative, Liberal and others, homosexual, paedophile, drunkards, all tell us what a wonderful world we share. They all care. They are all on top of their job. They have respect for everyone and everything.
So, how the fcuk is there even just one person like this:

EXCLUSIVE: DIARY OF A LONELY PENSIONER
By Victoria Kennedy

ROSE Williams looks longingly out of her living-room window. It's a crisp February morning and the sky is a bright blue. But the 77-year-old won't be going out today.

Nor tomorrow. Nor the next day.

A part from the nurse and carer who will lift her out of bed and change the bandages on her ulcerated legs there will be no visitors, either. There'll be no one to chat to over a cup of tea, no one to help out with her favourite crossword.

But Rose, who lives in a town in the North East of England, is not unusual. She is one of 200,000 older people in Britain who describe themselves as always lonely.

Research by Help the Aged shows that almost 820,000 people feel cut off from society. A quarter of a million of them say they have no friends or family. And one in six regularly go an entire week without speaking to anyone they know.

They are statistics which should shock and shame us all.

Today the Daily Mirror is linking up with Help the Aged to launch the Helping Unite Generations (Hug) campaign to raise funds and awareness to help end loneliness and isolation among older people.

Here, Rose reveals what it is like for so many elderly people as she records three normal days in her life.

Tuesday

7 AM

MY carer Katie arrives and greets me with a "Brrrr!", putting her icy hands on my arm to show how cold it is. It reminds me how much I miss going outside' breathing in fresh air and watching children on the way to school.

I can't really walk because my legs are so swollen from ulcers and water retention so I haven't left the house in three months. A volunteer used to push me out in my wheelchair but he can't come any more so I'm stuck here instead.

I've got two children who visit when they can, but my daughter lives 300 miles away with her family and my son is so busy with his job. He lives in my town, but I don't like to ask him to take me out. He has enough on his plate without worrying about me.

7.30 MY legs are so bad I can no longer get in the shower, so Katie washes me down with a sponge, then dresses me. It's pretty humiliating, but the thing I dread most is when she empties my commode. I always apologise if I've done anything more than pass water.

8.0 I GET on my stairlift and slowly make my way to the living-room. From my bed to armchair takes 15 minutes - I used to get down the corner shop and back in that time! This chair is my life now.

When Katie leaves she puts a Thermos with hot water and some teabags on the table next to me and a couple of sachets of Cuppa Soup for lunch.

Then there's my tapestry set and a pack of cards. Playing patience passes the time. Katie says goodbye and the house feels empty until the nurse arrives at 10am to change the bandages on my legs. She comes twice a day and is a lovely woman, but they keep her so busy she hasn't time to chat.

1.0 I'M having a bit of a down day today. This time on a Tuesday I used to be at the local day centre, having a roast dinner and a natter. It was the highlight of my week, but since the volunteer who took me there injured his back in December I haven't been. When I think about it too much I start crying. Sound a bit silly, don't I?

4.0 HAVE been staring out the window for three hours, watching the birds play on the hedge at the front. It's funny the way things have changed. When my children were little I'd send them round to check on the old lady next door. No one checks on me. Everyone seems so busy.

A few years ago I asked the teenager across the road if he could cut my lawn for a few pounds - but he said he could earn more staying in bed!

6.0 ISN'T it silly, but making my tea is the hardest part of the day.

Normally it takes me a couple of tries to get out of the chair, up to my walking frame and into the kitchen. But today the nurse left my frame just out of reach. I spent 20 minutes working out how to reach it. Finally I took a deep breath, summoned up all my strength and pushed myself towards it. But I rocked back into my chair. I could feel tears in my eyes from the frustration and pain in my legs.

So I pushed everything off a side table and leant on that instead. I could feel it shaking, but eventually shuffled across to my frame. By the time I got there I was dripping with sweat and my heart was racing.

It must have taken half an hour to get to the kitchen, where I put a jacket potato and some fish in the microwave. Then it was a massive juggling act, balancing the dinner plate on my walking frame, to get back to my chair.

A few times I've dropped the plate on the floor. It just has to stay there until the next morning.

12.0 I'M still in my armchair, waiting for the nurse to come and dress my legs before bed. She's often called on emergencies so I just have to wait. I'm doing some tapestry. By 1am the nurse has been and I finally get on my stairlift up to bed. Once it broke down and I got stuck halfway up. My daughter was staying at the time, but I'm terrified it will happen again.

Wednesday

7 AM I'VE only had a couple of hours' sleep because my legs were bad again.

11.0 THE newspaper boy is late and I find myself crying. You must think I'm just a daft old woman, but I so like doing the crossword.

12.0 THE lady who does my shopping pops in and asks if there is anything else I want. I say: "Just some arsenic." She thinks I'm joking.

I used to get angry when old people talked about commiting suicide, but these days I understand what they mean. Who would actually care if I wasn't here?'

My kids don't really understand. When they ring I just say: "I'm fine." They've got their own problems.

1.0 I CALL my friend Grace. Before, we went for lunch once a month, but we've lost touch now that I can't go out. She tells me about day trips she's been on. I don't think she realises how sad I find that. I sit and remember how I and my husband, George, used to go on day trips to the beach.

3.0 I PLAY patience. I do one game but lose and decide to do best of three - 11 games later I still haven't won. It is a bad day.

6.0 SOME good news: I've got an appointment with the chiropodist next Tuesday. I can't cut my own toenails, so they've been growing for a year and are curling under my feet. It'll be agony, but it'll be a trip out. What a treat!

3AM MY legs are so painful I decide I might as well get out of bed. A few months ago I fell over in the middle of the night and it took me five hours to get up again.

I had to shift around the floor on my bum. I'd never heard of carpet burn before that night.

I usually wear a panic button around my neck, but I take it off at night in case I press it by accident. I'd hate to cause a false alarm.

One night when I was up like this I heard someone trying to break in. I was terrified.

Thursday

8 AM I WATCH the postman walk past my door. Nothing for me today.

Last week he knocked with a parcel but it took me five minutes to get to the door, by which time he'd gone. In my rush I bumped into the wall and got a huge bruise on my arm.

11.0 I'VE spent an hour flicking through a clothes catalogue, looking for a new cardi. A woman at the hospital once asked me why I made such an effort to dress up when no one ever sees me. The cheek! It seems when you're old you're not allowed to want to look your best.

1.0 AM playing another few games of patience. It would be nice to have someone to play cards with. My son tries to pop in on a Sunday if he's on his way out with his family.

But I know they care about me. I may not be rich, but I'm rich in love.

Katie has worked for me for five years and she's wonderful. I live in fear she might leave. When she goes on holiday I get temporary carers but they have such an attitude. One made such a fuss about emptying my commode that I felt terrible.

4.30 I DON'T watch much telly, but I love Ready Steady Cook. Before I got ill I loved cooking and would invite sometimes as many as 10 friends round for a roast. My speciality was bread and butter pudding. The microwave meals don't compare and I'm not sure what happened to all those friends.

7.0 I SPEND the evening reading an Agatha Christie. I love crime books. Once I get reading, the hours fly by.

A few months ago my light bulb went. I couldn't ask my carer to change it as it's not in her job description, so I went for three days without any light. It meant I couldn't read my book for days until my son came round.

3 AM ANOTHER night with no sleep, so I came downstairs to play patience. Someone asked me once why I don't cheat to win - but what's the point?

Oh well, it'll be light in three hours. Another day.

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