Translation needed

Well, if he did not have sex with that woman, what did he think he was doing. There is a detailed analysis of this in a blog I've reproduced here as the link seemed dodgy when I tried it.

Thursday, March 01, 2007
Billy Jeff, Call Your Office (CraigC)
Hmmmm. Turns out blow jobs are sex, after all.
....an English teacher at Horace Mann High School in North Fond du Lac, was formally charged with 10 counts of sexual assault of a student by school staff and 10 counts of child enticement.
Newly appointed District Attorney Michael O’Rourke had requested that intake Judge Robert Wirtz set cash bail at $25,000, noting the severity of the crime.
Burman, of Oshkosh, also a track and cross country coach at Horace Mann, is accused of carrying on a sexual relationship with a female student who was 17years old at the time and a senior at Horace Mann during the 2005-06 school year and again, recently, when the former student returned to the area, according to a criminal complaint.
She numbered their sexual encounters at more than 70 and said the encounters occurred almost daily in Burman’s classroom during a period in which she was supposed to be in study hall, the complaint said.....The former student told detectives that she told Burman no when it came to “actual sex and intercourse” and that she performed oral sex on him outside of school only.
If you’re not used to noodling through the bad writing of modern “journalists,” at first blush those last two sentences seem contradictory. Or maybe they are, in which case it’s just bad reporting. What I got out of that was that they only engaged in, you know, heavy petting in the classroom. She waited until they were off school grounds to practice her Monica skills. The creep probably didn’t have to convince her it wasn’t sex.
Speaking of Monica, I’m not going to sit here and blame Bubba for the widespread acceptance among women under 25 of perhaps the greatest scam in history, the idea that gargling with a guy’s crank ain’t sex. I rather think he was just the most obvious example of a cultural shift that’s taken place. That and the fact that he had a vested interest in pretending it wasn’t sex, of course. All of you bubbleheads who have bought into that, ask a guy if he thinks it’s sex. It has to be a guy who knows that he has no chance of getting in your pants, though, otherwise he’ll just lie. Better yet, a guy who doesn’t want to get in your pants. You must have some gay friends. Ask them if they think blow jobs are sex.
Posted by CraigC @ 08:38 AM 0 Trackbacks • Email this
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Comments

Is it a sign of our decline that I’m relieved the boys are in high school instead of middle school?
Posted by McGehee permalinkon 03/01 at 09:38 AM

Another blow against the Patriarchy.

Dan Collins permalinkon 03/01 at 09:41 AM

I always thought blow-jobs were MORE than sex. Like, sex-plus. Not something I was willing to do to just anyone. .
Basically, I had to really LOVE you to do that.
Posted by Carin permalinkon 03/01 at 10:43 AM

Haaaa, Carin, if you thought I wouldn’t let go of your comment at what’s-her-name’s last year, you’re really in for it now.

CraigC permalinkon 03/01 at 11:35 AM

I stand by it. BJ are sex-plus. At least the way I do it.
I would have NEVER done such a thing as teen. Or, even, until I was practically married.
Posted by Carin permalinkon 03/01 at 12:06 PM

Well when I say “sex” I mean intercourse but I’m old enough that I don’t see some big wide dividing between the two. In fact if you play your cards right, one often leads to the other depending on who the recipient is.
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EricP permalinkon 03/01 at 01:49 PM

Its only virtual sex.

lonetown permalinkon 03/01 at 04:48 PM

It’s more then a handshake.

papertiger permalinkon 03/01 at 06:31 PM

Who else knows a woman that was so good that she virtually ruined oral sex for the rest of your life?

The Lost Dog permalinkon 03/01 at 07:06 PM

Hmmm.
God Dammit!
I was born 20 damn years too bloody late for the sexual revolution AND 20 damn years too bloody early for blowjobs to be the modern equivalent of a handshake at the end of a highschool date.
Ya know. When I die and have my chance to chat with God. He’s got some seriously frigging ‘splainin to do.
spam word: “bed69”
Rather appropriate really.