When only just out of my teens, I was in Malaya. This was in the early 1950s. It was still a colonial sort of place. The white man's word was law and all that. I enjoyed a status far above my value. I think that even if I had realised this was wrong, the subject people would not understand any missionary zeal. They accepted status quo. In time, I married and was allocated a house amah (a woman servant) who looked after the housekeeping in our quarter. Later, we recruited a baby amah to be responsible for the day to day care of my infant daughter. We paid them extra so live in so both were available 24/7. As a further example of colonial ways; the house amah was a Chinese woman of about 60 and had been a servant since she was around 12. She it was who explained to my wife - aged 24 - that she should keep the pantry locked and only open it to supervise the withdrawal of stuff needed for housekeeping and meal preparation. Servant born and bred. I cannot think of any relationship in over three years with the indigenous people on a social footing. The rubber planters and tin tappers ran an even more rigorous form of White Man's Word. Ah Chun who found himself dismissed in one end of Malaya would find his cards marked all the way in the other direction.
As a few years passed and I had seen the Union flag lowered a few times in midnight Independence ceremonies, things changed. Skin colour no longer decided who was the Boss. In some places, the change was very noticeable. In Libya around the start of the '60s quite aggressively so. My wife and children were subjected to rude shouts, obscene gestures and indecent exposure. I was shouted at and stoned when walking my dog. This conduct did nothing to cause me to think of making any change in the way I regarded people other than my own race and background. There was little incentive to change; social interaction was still very limited.
In the military family, there was no prejudice. We had soldiers from all backgrounds, countries and pigmentation. These differences did not record. What might pass as insults most dire amongst civilians were traded all the time as brutal and licentious humour. I was free to joke about Abdulrahman keeping his brain in his y-fronts to protect it from the sun. He saw nothing in debating the dubious sexual proficiency of a white soldier. Occasionally, when drink had been taken, things might get a bit edgy but the groups policed themselves.
When I left the service in '74, multiculturalism and racial awareness were stirring. Words like nig*er, co*n, wo* etc. had already gone - even in our private conversations. Thinking about it, I realised I was very definitely a racist. And had been for a long time. I tried to reform but failed and was faced with some way of dealing with this. I had this problem along with adjusting to being a civilian where things all seemed to so much more serious and significant.
I had spent three days in Capetown when on a troopship going the long way round after Nasser blocked the Suez Canal. Not much time for a learning process except that as the ship's policeman I had had to negotiate the release from civil custody of two soldiers who thought that apartheid did not apply to black prostitutes. The punishment of whites under racial discrimination laws caused me to appreciate why they had been introduced. In 1974, I realised that what worked keeping blacks and coloured away from whites could help keep me away from those where confrontation would cause problems for us both. I thought of it as Reverse Apartheid.
I have been able to debate this with three people from diverse origins. Initially, it met with scorn or fierce disapproval but we all persevered and I felt it was a valid way to deal with my problem. It has been extended to include those - irrespective of colour or race - whom I might really upset or insult if I put my mind to it. I try and apply the Reverse Apartheid rule here; I will comment or remark but only in jest. If I am setting out deliberately to confront, I try to make this clear. It does not always work though. So, whilst I might make the suggestion that someone should phone home because their village is looking for it's idiot, this is meant in fun. Please bear with me. For your part, say what you wish. Choose any word order from back ducks off water.
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