Monday, 20 October 2008

Pet Care

Over half of the UK population has legitimate concerns about what will happen to their pets after the Rapture occurs.
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"For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. (No way.) For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout (lemme hear it, Big Ern!), with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the cloud to meet the Lord in the air." (And he throws down a tremendous dunk, to the cheering of the crowd.)
Have you ever thought about what will happen to your pets after Jesus comes back to claim the souls of the saved during the Rapture and deliver them to heaven to enjoy everlasting life? The Bible teaches that only those who have accepted Jesus as their savior will be risin', and we all know that pets do not have the cognitive ability to do this. So what will happen to your beloved pets? Without you there, they'll be stuck in an empty house, starving to death.....no one to feed them.....no one to clean their litter tray.....or rub their tummy.
This is not what you envision for your pets after you are gone. This is where I come in. As an atheist I'll still be here post-Rapture, and I would love to look after your pets for a small fee, and make sure they are still well taken care of after you and your family have been Raptured. You will be able to look down on them from heaven and see them being cared for by me and living happily.
For a small fee of £500*, you can be assured that your pets will be well-cared-for from the time that you are Raptured until the end of their natural life. Just think: Jesus might be a pet hater, and there might be a lot of pets who are abandoned. Hoo boy, you don't want that.
Please eMail me for my Pay (and Pay) Pal Address so you can assure your pets will be taken care of after Jesus comes with his Rapture deal.

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