Right carry on

My 'cures all pain God knows how' bracelet had lost most of it's magnetism. Whilst it still worked, it was leaving a bright green stain around my wrist so one objective at the Scots Fair was to find a replacement. There seemed to be two places selling them. I didn't like any of the ones at the first place so had to settle for the only alternative. The guy at the stall was a bit flamboyant in the style of his shirt and hair but I thought nothing of it until he was showing me exactly how the dinkie little real brass pin thingy went into the very well designed hole in the strap. He was making a bit too much out of helping me choose a 'tasteful' design for the bracelet. I decided to buy one of those on show. This led to much flustered looking for pen and sales book. Then there was the production of the instructions with salient points being drawn to my attention. I was warned to start off wearing it for no more than three hours, to be aware it might cause tingling in my fingers or a mild headache and that I would feel thirsty the first time I wore it. This was when the devil stirred within me. I put my hand on his wrist and asked in a concerned voice, "It won't make my willy go funny will it?". 'Ooh no - nothing like that. No. No' Perfect match of Frankie Howard and our dear old Ken. Sorry now that Sandy or Julian was not there to share the moment.
I think that Sandy and Julian from Around the Horne show did much to open up the gay world. Their very much over the top performances showed people another side of that inclination that confused many men. Certainly, it was a way of dealing with homesexuality that avoided the risk of a right smack in the mourf and brought them into the general community. I have no concerns about outright gay - and lesbian - people. It is the ones who remain closeted that I distrust. Though maybe Peter Tatchell goes a bit too far with his style of outing, I can see where he comes from. I once had to question a guy who had gay issues. This was in Egypt where we wore shorts - see picture at left. Whilst I was writing his statement, he was stroking my knee. Shame really, I think it was my including this in my evidence that led to him getting a relatively heavy sentence.
Oh yes - back to the new wristband. It works perfectly. Science or subtle suggestion? Don't know and don't care. I had a 'dead' tip on my little finger which is now back to normal. No - it did not (so far) make my willie go funny either.