Friday 14 July 2006

Anyone seen a policeman?

This is a scenario posted by a guy who is in a position to get it right. Seems damned wrong to me. I don’t have any very adverse reactions to rich people giving money to get a peerage but I do know that I would like to get enough staff to cure this sort of nonsense before using them to worry about a lot of toffs who will wriggle out of things anyway.
999 Operator: Police emergency
Bloggs
: I’ve just been punched in the mouth by this bloke up the road.
999 Operator
: Where is the offender now?
Bloggs
: He went home, he lives at number 47
999 Operator
: Do you need an ambulance?
Bloggs
: No, I’m at home now, nothing’s broken.
999 Operator
: OK, we’ll send a unit to see you, as it’s not an emergency I can’t say how long it will take.
Later that night….
Police Operator: Hello Bloggs, sorry we haven’t been able to attend yet, we’ve had a really busy day. Are you home tomorrow?
Bloggs
: Well I was going to a garden party at Buck House, but I can stay home, what time can you come?
Police Operator
: We can’t make appointments, it’ll be when an officer is free.
Next day
Police Operator: Hello Bloggs, sorry we haven’t been able to see you today, we’ve been really busy, what time are you up until tonight?
Bloggs
: I’ll be up until about 11pm
Police Operator: OK, I’ll try and get the night shift to deal.
Next Day
Repeat above conversation for 2-5 days
Next day
Police Operator: Hello Bloggs, sorry, no unit, too busy, etc, etc, can you perhaps come into the police station to make a report
Bloggs
: OK, I’ll call in at 5pm after work tomorrow.
Next day…at the station
Bloggs: I’m here about an assault, can you take a statement or something?
Enquiry Officer
: I can’t, I’d need to get one of the police officers to return and do it
Bloggs
: OK
Enquiry Officer
: Er, there’s nobody free, they’re all assigned.
Next day
Bloggs: Hello, about being punched in the mouth, forget it. I’m fed up waiting. I’ll leave it thanks.
Police Operator
You can’t.
Bloggs: I can’t?
Police Operator
: No, you’ve reported a crime, we need to see you.
Bloggs
: I’ve been waiting for someone to see me for nearly a week. I don’t want anything done any more. You’re obviously busy and I’ve been inconvenienced too much already, just leave it.
Police Operator
: Well if you don’t want any action, that’s fine.
Bloggs
: Great, bye.
Police Operator
: But we need to take a statement to say you don’t want anything done.
Bloggs
: So you weren’t inteterested in seeing me when I reported it and now your saying I can’t just leave it.
Police Operator
: Er, no, we’re not allowed to, we don’t have any choice, actually, neither do you.
Bloggs
: OK, can I make the statement now?
Police Operator
: We’re a bit busy at the moment, I don’t have anyone free.

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