Wanted

I know I was supposed to be having a duvet day but this item (below) made me fall out of bed laughing so I'll let you have it while it's hot.

My main and first thought is how the heck the relevant police department will find a way to display an illustration of the stolen item in the Crime journal? And what about the future of the Turin Shroud Enterprises Inc if we get good DNA from any recovered item?

TODAY'S GUEST BLOG
Any useful leads to Madonna please