Doubtless, coming soon to a newspaper near you
" Moira Braithwaite, 52, of Dorking, was this morning celebrating her ninth successive GP Receptionist of the Month award after preventing over 35,000 patients getting an appointment within 48 hours during the month of September alone. Moira’s name will appear in the next Guinness Book of Records as the most effective doctor’s receptionist of all time, having not allowed a single appointment to be made with any doctor, despite the desperate pleas of the sick and injured.
Moira uses a number of techniques to prevent patients from seeing their local G.P. ‘Sometimes when people ring up she pretends to be a mini-cab company in Bromsgrove and claims that the taxi is on its way. Another time she diverted her number so that people calling the doctors went straight through to the Samaritans.’