Might be a cop?

You Might Be A Cop If....You have the bladder capacity of five people. You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience. You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm. You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal. You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person. You find humour in other people's stupidity. You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see. You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance. You believe that a "shallow gene pool" should be grounds for an arrest. You believe that the Government should require a permit to reproduce. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is quiet around here". You believe that chocolate is a food group. You have wanted to hold a seminar on "Suicide, getting it right the first time., You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid jury verdict. You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably. You have wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to a particular bar. You believe the dispatcher is possessed. You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form. You have heard: "I have no idea how that got there," on more than a few occasions. You suddenly realize one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone. You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in your patrol car.