Meme as ordered.

Look away if you don't like these sort of things. I am only doing it because Gemmak bullied me. She is the Mother of this blog's layout and tecchy bits. She knows my log-in and password so it is easier to do the things she says. She is also second reserve for question 16 below.

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.

“He stepped into a squad car; it raced across the city and at each police divisional boundary a further black car was waiting to take him onward”
From 'Guns, Drugs & Deserters – the story of the Army Special Investigation Branch'

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.

I've just punched the wall. Ouch!

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Service from the Cenotaph.

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?

1300

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

1305

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My dog moaning because I am not talking with her

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

About a hour ago. Taking the dog for a short walk.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

My email

9. What are you wearing?

Polartex fleece trousers, thermal vest, thermal T-shirt. Normal gear for short walks with dog this time of the year in this part of Scotland.

10. Did you dream last night?

Is there any night that I do not?.

11. When did you last laugh?

I think I have Altzheimers

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Warrants from the Queen – mine and my Grandfathers, my MBE certificate, pictures. Scotland the Brave print by Lady Butler showing the Scots Greys charging. (It is MY study after all)

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Walls of my study?

14. What do you think of this quiz?

Slightly better than buggery I suppose?

15. What is the last film you saw?

Film – in a theatre. That was back when Singing in the Rain was new. On the TV – Some narcoleptic rubbish last night. On my p.c. The Hill.

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Sophia Loren. If she was beyond my whole fortune as I suspect, then Kate Moss (but only if she were wearing that Agent Provacateur underwear)

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.

6'3”. 20 stone. Wish to intrude further into my private life?

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Eradicate all forms of socialism

19. Do you like to dance?

Never really tried it. I can do, when slightly drunk and quite naked, a tango taught me by a very sexy Spanish lady. I do an excellent imitation of Mick Jagger in his Can't get no satisfaction alter ego.

20. George Bush

Which one. Both got a lot to answer for. One did not go far enough, the other went too far.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Been done. Imagination not required

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

See #21

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Yes. Depends if I get choice of what is 'abroad'

24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

You took your bloody time getting here!