Doggone

A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. "Well," says the personnel director, "you'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute."
Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.
"Also," says the director, "you must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course." This perfect dog specimen finishes the course in record time.
"There's one last requirement," the director continues; "you must be bilingual."
With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow!"

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Old man goes into the hall and starts to get dressed to go out.

"Where are you going?" asks his aged wife. "Gonna get some of that Viagra from the doctor" he says.

Wife says "Wait a bit and I'll come with you" "What for?" the ancient man asks.

"Well" she says, "If you are getting that rusty old thing out, I'm going to get a tetanus jab"